Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Here again,I'm so sorry to everyone who has helped and given me advice,I have to explain this as I think this is proof I really am a disturbed person. 

I had managed to not drink for a month and that's huge for me but stupidly I got talked into it and got very drunk, 

What Im about to say is worrying, sorry if you hate me after. 

I got with my partner when her son was 8 he's now 22,me and his mum and him were up to early hours very drunk and they hugged and I got it in my head somehow is something insestual going on,crazy I know.so I don't now if that exited me or disgusted me, later I said I was going to bed but went in the garden for a fag, I saw them through the window and I don't know if I hoped something would happen or was trying to catch something, I then worried about what I was thinking and doing so to see I wasn't so different googled mother with adult son, I sign came on Google and said it is illegle to show certain stuff, clicked away of course straight away. 

I'm in a terrible state about two things, thinging my son and partner could do that, it's mad,and worried the police will knock on door,

I'm sorry if I have disgusted people, I know this is more than ocd, dont know where to turn, feel there is only one option left, can't stand myself anymore. 

Link to comment

Hey,

The police have neither the mandate nor the resources to monitor what everyone does online, but that is irrelevant; you haven't done anything wrong. This is just your mind playing tricks on you. Try to recognise these thoughts for what they are (junk) and let them pass without reacting to them.

Link to comment

I'm so scared though as an actual warning came up, I didn't click on anything but the words I used are. Obviously connected to illegle activity as measures to get people doing that awful stuff, Google could report the search,I searched something like son or adult son sleeps with mum,or trys it on or something like that,they wouldn't know it was a searching compulsion, then I checked on a site after that didn't have a warning, porn hub I think but to check if I was aroused, it was adults but pretending to be a adult son and mum, turned it off, nothing illegal but they couldn't know it was a compulsion and maby connect it all together

Link to comment

I've googled about it and you can get in trouble, the government and Google have 1300 key words that will give a warning,if you googled cp for instance that could be intent to do something, of course I didn't do that but it's connected something, going out of my mind worrying because they thought it was illegal intent

Link to comment

Hi battlethrough, 

You've had the reassurance you sought that the police won't be coming to get you, but you've chosen not to believe it - trusting what your OCD tells you instead. 

You have a choice here; you can stay locked in the bathroom believing the intrusive thoughts and resulting fears OR you can accept this is your OCD tormenting you, choose to let it go and get on with your life. 

 

Link to comment
3 hours ago, battlethrough said:

I feel I should tell my partner incase they do so she is prepared

Just another compulsion. All it will do is worry and confuse her and any relief you get from confessing will be short-lived before a new urge to do yet another compulsion starts.

Don't give in to compulsions. 

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Struggling with myself letting myself down at the moment, I struggle with alcohol,I will do well then drink a lot to try and blank out then end up back in the pit. 

A couple of nights ago nearly the exact thing happened as the post above, I went to bed drunk then had thought,drunk intrusive of my partner with my stepson, it makes me sick, as drunk my brain wonders if I was liking it or anxiety,I remember googling mum has sex with son,Im pretty sure it was a way of seeking some sought of reassurance that other people have experienced this,. 

Im not really asking for advice, just wondered if people question whether they like thoughts and also Google things that looking back seem strange and inappropriate. 

Apologies for being here again sharing my broken record,just feel alone that's all

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...