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Pedophilia and OCD


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Hello everyone..as some of you here know I have OCD. Like many, my themes keep changing and one of them is that of pedophilia.

Sometime back I saw a photo of friend, hugging her child and as you may infer this was a trigger for the chain of unsettling thoughts. Thoughts which made me feel yet again that I had misbehaved with my nieces in the past.

The state that I am in I am so scared to touch a child. I feel if I do touch a child, my next subsequent thoughts are of pedophilia which makes me feel sick in the stomach and leaves me unsettled. Oh that phase is horrible! 

My question is - if someone with this disorder and this theme wishes to bear/raise a child, how does one do it? I mean it feels impossible because this disorder is a major obstacle. At this moment, it is stopping me and I am not sure if there will be a good time.

Thanks for your suggestion in advance. Stay safe.

 

 

Edited by Pranjali
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On 21/04/2020 at 12:50, Pranjali said:

My question is - if someone with this disorder and this theme wishes to bear/raise a child, how does one do it? I mean it feels impossible because this disorder is a major obstacle. At this moment, it is stopping me and I am not sure if there will be a good time.

Hi Pranjali, 

Appologies for the delay in replying, your post must have slipped down the page unseen. 

There's no straightforward answer to your question. If your disorder is controlling your behaviour (regularly taking over your thoughts , performing compulsions) then it is a fairly major obstacle just now. Not just to becoming a parent, but also to normal life. 

My advice would be to seek CBT for your OCD before going down the route of starting a family. Make sure you and your partner both understand what OCD is and how it can be managed/overcome. When you are back in control again you will be able to go into parenthood with confidence. :) 

 

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Hi snowbear,

Thanks for your response. Yes I'm trying to make peace but am unable to figure out how long do I have to battle this out. I know it is a constant process but some thoughts stay for too long and are too real.

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I'm not sure what you mean by 'battle it out'. It's not a matter of doing prolonged exposures until you no longer react (behavioural therapy by itself.) It's about getting to grips with the cognitive part of therapy and coming to fully understand that the problem lies in how you interpret your thoughts, not in the thoughts themselves. 

As long as you continue to interpret these things as signs and symptoms of pedophilia you will get no peace, no matter how much exposure exercise time you spend on it.

When you stop interpreting the thoughts as meaning you're a pedophile then the thoughts will stop bothering you and the battle will end. With a full understanding of how the thoughts trapped you in a cycle of doubt and anxiety in the past you will be confident of not falling back into the trap again and can then move forward with your life plans. 

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