ocd telling me to get a new job

[bookworm30]

In usual times, my job involves a lot of public transport during the day and going in and out of people's houses and in and out of the office. Since mid-March, our office has been closed and I've been working from home.

Obviously things will not really go back to 'normal', whatever that'll look like, when lockdown is slowly lifted. But all of this working from home has basically reassured the thoughts that the outside world is contaminated and dirty. The thought of eventually having to go back to usual terrifies me. If I cannot use public transport, mental health related or not, I cannot do my job. I don't drive. I also no longer cycle, since I was knocked off my bike by a careless driver a couple of years ago I'm too scared. The nature of my job means that I need to be able to get around.

So, my OCD is telling me that I will need to find a new job that I can do that is safe, or I will spread covid-19 and be responsible for people dying.

I enjoy my job; I work in the charity sector, for an organisation I really believe in, and I cannot imagine really working in anything else. My OCD is telling me none of that matters.

I think the worst thing is that no one really knows what will happen, and so a lot of chat right now is speculation. Normally I would not engage in this sort of chat, because I know it's not healthy for me - this is my mind's reaction to this morning's team meeting. My colleagues wanted to know when things will get back to normal, as we all do, but no one knows the answer and the unknown causes a lot of anxiety. I've got used to the lockdown.

I also have asthma which means I'm generally at a higher risk. Although my asthma isn't severe enough to go into the shielding group, I'm scared of things going back to normal without any kind of treatment or vaccine. I had flu in February and ended up on steroids due to my asthma flaring up. Initially, prior to lockdown, the advise was if you had an underlying health condition you self-isolate for 12 week - this was before they added the shielding group. I guess once lockdown is slowly lifted, vulnerable groups will be told to continue practicing social distancing. I hope that these guidelines will be clear.

This is something I will discuss with my therapist, I know there is a lot of unknowns which do not help anxiety at all.  Sorry that was a ramble.

[Angst]

Hi bookworm30.  Talking things through with a therapist will help you clarify things in your own mind.

It is natural that you and your colleagues are thinking about returning to work because that agenda has been set by government and the mass media. In that context, The Observer’s poll on Sunday indicated that 70% of the population is concerned about a relaxation in social distancing.
 

I also have preexisting conditions which make me more prone to complications if I catch the virus. I talked to my GP about my concerns during a phone conversation because much regular testing for preexisting conditions has been curtailed. Talking things through with a GP should help.

The are two levels of risk: greater risk and extreme risk. May not be the the precise terminology. The latter group is in the shielding group with the 12 week isolation. Understandable that you want clear guidelines because you want things to be clearer and also your employer will be guided on how to deploy your skills at work.

Things are difficult for those of us with OCD. The objective uncertainty can play havoc with our minds. I try to live a day or two at a time. Distract myself and timetable the day. I have returned to taking medication as well. Are you seeing a therapist on Facebook or whatever? Stay strong.