I don't know how to clean appropriately without following the OCD template

[BoldVisions]

Hi there everyone, I'm new. I'm 35 and a long time sufferer with OCD. Both my parents have it, my mother moreso. I grew up from a tot completing her rituals/experiencing the emotional, mental, verbal and physical abuse that came with it. I myself realised I had the disorder at 12 years old as well as being soaked in an OCD environment.

I am currently struggling with this Covid thing, and my OCD has gotten a lot worse. It peaks and troughs, but it's getting bad. I am trying to face it and not do the compulsions to the level that I have been doing it (mostly pressure from my partner as he's getting fed up). I don't want to, but it has to stop or at least reduce. I've realised that if I remove OCD from the equasion, I don't know how to clean things properly and safely. I want to make sure I protect us from Covid, but I don't know how to do that without using ridiculous amounts of Dettol and bleach and cleaning every tiny little surface or nook for hours and then bathing, washing clothes, moping, spraying etc (only for me to never feel like it's really clean and that the clean part of the house is very easily contaminated and the whole process starts again).

Basically, I don't know how to be normal. I simply do not have that template as I was never taught it and when I see other people cleaning, I think "Bloody hell, you're slapdash". It doesn't seem worth the bother as they don't see the OCD patterns of contamination. It's like, why bother if you're not going to do it properly? Does anyone else have this thought? Any advice at all?

[Handy]

The forum has a major topic on Coronavirus & what to do. 

[PolarBear]

Hey there.

This is a very challenging time for contamination OCD sufferers. You likely know that a big part of recovery is letting go of your compulsions. But right now experts are telling you to take extra steps with cleaning and hygiene. I feel for you.

One thing to think about is that your parents' behavior was overblown and everyone else was doing perfectly okay. Before Covid-19, the world was doing just fine with whatever cleaning regimen each person/family had. The sun rise every morning, people lived and even thrived. Your parents and others like them went overboard, not because there was a real threat, but simply because their minds told them the threat was real and they chose to believe it.

Before giving you some arbitrary rules to follow, try to wrap your head around that concept.

[BoldVisions]

2 hours ago, Handy said:

The forum has a major topic on Coronavirus & what to do. 

Thanks for letting me know, Handy. I did look for one but not quite sure on how to navigate this site being new. Will go have another look now :)

[BoldVisions]

1 hour ago, PolarBear said:

Hey there.

This is a very challenging time for contamination OCD sufferers. You likely know that a big part of recovery is letting go of your compulsions. But right now experts are telling you to take extra steps with cleaning and hygiene. I feel for you.

One thing to think about is that your parents' behavior was overblown and everyone else was doing perfectly okay. Before Covid-19, the world was doing just fine with whatever cleaning regimen each person/family had. The sun rise every morning, people lived and even thrived. Your parents and others like them went overboard, not because there was a real threat, but simply because their minds told them the threat was real and they chose to believe it.

Before giving you some arbitrary rules to follow, try to wrap your head around that concept.

Thank you for your comment, PolarBear. That summation spoke to me and put it into context. I haven't thought about it that way before. It's hard to depower such a thing like OCD when the people in positions of power in your life believe it; I suppose it's cult-like in a way. I will think more about this. Thanks again.

[PolarBear]

Most welcome.

[snowbear]

2 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Your parents went overboard, not because there was a real threat, but because their minds told them the threat was real and they chose to believe it.

Before giving you some arbitrary rules to follow, try to wrap your head around that concept.

I was about to say something very similar.  

Telling you what degree of cleaning is 'normal' is pointless because everybody defines 'clean enough to do' differently. 

What you need to do is challenge the idea that the threat is as huge as it feels. Accept that (in this instance) your gut feeling has got it wrong.

The anxiety results from a percieved threat (your thoughts) so it's your perception (thinking) you need to change rather than setting limits on how much cleaning you should or shouldn't do.