Really quite upset (when OCD becomes true)

[BigDave]

So my therapist has been for the longest time telling me that I should take more chances and that my OCD tells me that my risk assessment is greater than the reality. He said that I needed to do more things, open my world. 
So I did just that. I bought a saxophone. I started Spanish lessons and I joined Match.com. I was really anxious about joining match but I did it. I used my personal email address and everything too. So everything was going well. And then a week into it, I get hacked. Now I’m freaking out because I’m not sure if my personal email is compromised, I’m not sure how much information they’ve got on me and I also had some quite flirtatious conversations (I don’t mean anything too excessive but I mean you know maybe not always PG-13 albeit very small amounts). Anyway now I feel violated and I feel exposed and I’m scared I’m going to be blackmailed and threatened because I told someone that they were...well you know, arousing. I feel mortified and humiliated and I just want to cry all the time. I am expecting to be blackmailed or someone to steal my identity or something Like that. They’ve said someone must have hacked my computer or my email but I have a heavy duty virus scanner and I just can’t understand how that would have happened. I haven’t clicked any links. I haven’t downloaded anything.  I haven’t given my passwords to anyone. They have offered to set me up with a new account and my therapist thinks I should do it but I don’t know. I’m bordering on breaking down. Thanks for listening. 

Edited May 8, 2020 by BigDave

[PolarBear]

Dave, you need to learn that stuff happens. That's blunt but it's the truth. Every single person on earth goes through stuff they'd rather not. Your problem is twofold:

1. Because you have an anxiety disorder, your mind blows situations like this all out of proportion. 

2. You buy into the lies your mind generates, believing that little things are big catastrophes.

This is not a big catastrophe. Nobody cares if BigDave got a liitle erotic on a chat. Do what you have to, forget this and move on. Life's too short.

[Handy]

Run Malwarebytes on your computer.

[dksea]

On 09/05/2020 at 06:48, BigDave said:

And then a week into it, I get hacked.

When you say you "got hacked", what do you mean?

[BigDave]

Someone got into my dating site account and started posting messages to people

Edited May 13, 2020 by BigDave

[dksea]

That would be quite frustrating indeed!  And you have reason to be upset of course.  However its important to focus on keeping a reasonable perspective and not letting OCD run away with worst case scenarios and what ifs.   

You can take reasonable precautions, such as changing your e-mail account password, having the dating site provider delete your compromised account, etc.  However the chances of blackmail or wholesale identity theft remain low and should be treated as such.  It feels uncomfortable, you feel scared, that is true and unfortunate, but just because you feel fear does not mean there is a real or greater risk, that's important to keep in mind too.

 

[BigDave]

To be honest, my therapist said the exact same thing and I think you're right. I don't think I was doing anything that was particularly outrageous beyond innocent flirting so hey, it's been my OCD all along trying to bully me. Anyway, thank you everyone for all your advice. You're heroes! 

[dksea]

4 hours ago, BigDave said:

To be honest, my therapist said the exact same thing and I think you're right. I don't think I was doing anything that was particularly outrageous beyond innocent flirting so hey, it's been my OCD all along trying to bully me. Anyway, thank you everyone for all your advice. You're heroes! 

Its always easier to look objectively at another persons worries than our own, I definitely have to work on following my own advice sometimes too!  Just glad to be able to help each other out on forums like this.  Another thing I try and keep in mind (but still have to work on), its ok to feel bad sometimes, we don't always have to try and fix that immediately.