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What we all have in common...


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I wanted to share this with you, as it is one of the thoughts I've had that is truly worth believing. OCD is not an illness that afflicts criminals, psychopaths, people who have ill-intent towards others. OCD affects people who are conscientious, sensitive, highly empathetic and loving. My understanding of the OCD bully is that it seems to be most successful in people who are vulnerable. Perhaps this vulnerability is in their own experience of trauma. Perhaps it's a tendency to put others first or feel responsible for others, to the detriment of fully looking after or appreciating themselves. Perhaps it's people who haven't been fully loved or validated by their parents, whose self-concept is shrouded by doubt. No matter what it may be, OCD attacks good people. To feel such distress at the possibility of harming others is not something you would feel if you were capable of this harm. However, that's not to say that it is the OCD bully itself that is preventing you from such acts. Remove the OCD bully, and you are still you, but without the needless torment and doubt it causes. So...know yourself. Know you are kind, caring, sensitive and conscientious. You are not what your mind bullies you into believing ?

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While it all sounds nice, there is no requirement for one to be good in order to have OCD. A criminal would have an equal chance of having the disorder. One can have ill intent toward others and still be plagued with obsessions, distress, doubt and compulsions.

OCD is an equal opportunity mental disorder.

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42 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

OCD is an equal opportunity mental disorder.

Lol at Equal opportunities. :D   That made me laugh Polarbear... you are right of course. 

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I beg to differ. The typical criminal/ person with criminal intent would be less likely to have a conscience and less inclined to experience anxiety. OCD targets those who are overly conscientious and caring. Obviously it's not black and white, but the individuals on this forum are overly concerned about doing the 'right' thing.

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22 minutes ago, goldigurly said:

I beg to differ. The typical criminal/ person with criminal intent would be less likely to have a conscience and less inclined to experience anxiety. 

I agree,

I do seem to recollect though that there has been some high profile crimes carried out in the past, & the press reporting that the person involved also had traits of OCD. So I've no doubt that there has probably been cases where it used like many things as a defence to get a lesser sentence, but personally I think it just a thing of convenience, & the person not a sufferer at all.

Edited by felix4
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37 minutes ago, goldigurly said:

I beg to differ. The typical criminal/ person with criminal intent would be less likely to have a conscience and less inclined to experience anxiety. OCD targets those who are overly conscientious and caring. Obviously it's not black and white, but the individuals on this forum are overly concerned about doing the 'right' thing.

While it’s certainly true that some people’s OCD fears center on doing “the right thing” that is only one of many ways OCD can be expressed. A person can have completely selfish fears too “what if I get cancer and die” “what if I get fired from my job” “what if I’m gay” “what if I black out and commit a crime and get caught and go to jail”.

Is it possible OCD disproportionately affects people with more altruistic personalities? Sure, it’s possible, but not proven so far as I am aware. If there are studies out there around that issue I’d love to see them.

Meanwhile, you should be careful about drawing conclusions about the overall character of OCD sufferers based on the behavior of people on this forum for a couple reasons.

First, given that this is a support forum, it’s likely that it’s going to attract and retain people who want or can give support. People who lake empathy or altruistic intent aren’t likely to join or participate in a group that is geared towards that goal.

Second, people who do behave poorly will either be driven out due to peer pressure or banned by admins for engaging in poor behavior.

Basically the forum isn’t a random sampling, so it’s not a good environment to draw those kind of conclusions from. That doesn’t mean your hypothesis is wrong, just that you can’t use the forum as proof.

 

 

 

 

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Another issue is the idea that a “criminal” is someone who lacks a conscience. Crime is culturally dependent and has a wide variety of factors. Behavior that is criminal in one place is perfectly acceptable in another, say marijuana use for example. Crime can also be driven by other factors. To use a literary example, if I steal a loaf of bread to feed my starving children does that demonstrates a lack of conscience or instead the presence of one?

A “criminal” can be an altruistic and upstanding person (think Robin Hood).

A non-criminal can be a sociopath, lacking in empathy and willing to exploit others yet remain within the law (think billionaire who pays employees the bare minimum required by law)

It’s a complex world and I just don’t think it can be as simple as OCD sufferers are inherently good people.

 

 

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1 hour ago, goldigurly said:

The typical criminal/ person with criminal intent would be less likely to have a conscience and less inclined to experience anxiety.

For the 95% of people with OCD you're pretty much bang on.  But it's important we don't generalise. 

I've been doing this job a long time, and over the years I've worked with people with OCD that are kind, caring people but through fate, sometimes linked to OCD I have been communicating with them remotely as they are locked up. In fact one of our forum users wrote a book about his OCD and how he found himself inside (to avoid OCD triggers). 

Theres also been a couple of people with OCD that I wouldn't want to cross paths with on a night out. They do have a conscience I'm sure,  wouldn't hurt their mums but would also happily give someone a slap that stepped out of line. 

So whilst for the thousands of people with OCD I've worked with match your original description that OCD attacks good people is true, it's not right to say 100% of people match that description.

 

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4 hours ago, PolarBear said:

While it all sounds nice, there is no requirement for one to be good in order to have OCD. A criminal would have an equal chance of having the disorder. One can have ill intent toward others and still be plagued with obsessions, distress, doubt and compulsions.

OCD is an equal opportunity mental disorder.

This made me smile! It’s quite true. I will use myself as an example. I had intrusive Harm thoughts to my mum, vulnerable old ladies, animals and babies years ago and I was very very ill with OCD over it. It was a horrible time. However, through therapist driven exposure therapy, I overcame all of this.

In recent years, due to being bullied and maligned by people at work, I do have dark and vengeful thoughts towards them quite frequently. I truly do not feel warm thoughts or contrition for these thoughts to these individuals. Being 100% honest here. At the end of the day, they’re still thoughts. I’ve not acted on them. I won’t entertain the internal question “what if I’m going to exact revenge because I hate these people, what will that make me?” type thoughts, because that way, OCD lies.

 

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Wow...Ok, my intention was to make people who feel they are 'bad' about themselves because of the thoughts that they are suffering from realise that in fact, people who suffer from OCD tend to be generally well-intentioned and conscientious (at no point did I suggest 100% of sufferers are this way. There are outliers with everything). Clearly I was wrong in my efforts to alleviate some of the discomfort of such an all-consuming mental affliction. 

Edited by goldigurly
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14 minutes ago, goldigurly said:

Wow...Ok, my intention was to make people who feel they are 'bad' about themselves because of the thoughts that they are suffering from realise that in fact, people who suffer from OCD tend to be generally well-intentioned and conscientious (at no point did I suggest 100% of sufferers are this way. There are outliers with everything). Clearly I was wrong in my efforts to alleviate some of the discomfort of such an all-consuming mental affliction. 

Hey Goldigurly, I totally get your intention and it was a lovely gesture. Intentions like these really helped me stay afloat when I was having the worst time with OCD and everyone around me could see I would be totally incapable of hurting others when I couldn’t see it myself, so a reminder like yours at the time was most beneficial and appreciated. I’m sure others who see your message when they’re in the absolute pits of despair will be reminded that they are good people and get the strength to push through with exposure. So thanks :) 

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6 minutes ago, Orwell1984 said:

Hey Goldigurly, I totally get your intention and it was a lovely gesture. Intentions like these really helped me stay afloat when I was having the worst time with OCD and everyone around me could see I would be totally incapable of hurting others when I couldn’t see it myself, so a reminder like yours at the time was most beneficial and appreciated. I’m sure others who see your message when they’re in the absolute pits of despair will be reminded that they are good people and get the strength to push through with exposure. So thanks :) 

Thank you Orwell. I appreciate that, and felt that some others may have over-analysed the message I was putting across.

For the record, what I have personally experienced is very similar to what you outlined in a previous message: i.e. OCD harm thoughts towards family members, babies etc. but also the capability of having harmful thoughts towards other people who have hurt you, which don't cause you the same anxiety (and, I would argue, are more 'adaptive' in that people who don't have OCD also experience such thoughts).

It seems the difference between these thoughts and OCD thoughts is their stickiness. For me, harm thoughts towards my mum or babies are far more 'charged' than those towards my nasty neighbours or people who have bullied me. While there is no intention to act on any of the thoughts, the harm thoughts towards my mum and children are so ego-dystonic that I end up ruminating about them more, questioning why they are appearing (when actually, their repeated appearance is due to this questioning/ rumination). Harm thoughts about people who I care less about or who have hurt me don't bother me at all and don't appear nearly as frequently as a result. The mind is a fully old tool. I guess this might indicate that we should approach harm thoughts towards even those we love or want to protect with the same kind of indifference. Easier said than done. But yes, you're certainly not alone in the forms your OCD has taken xx

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