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I am disgusting.


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I was chilling on the sofa with my 12 year old sister and I looked at her butt because she was wearing some pyjama shorts and that triggered me? So presumably I was looking to check if I was attracted and then it happened that I liked what I was seeing, like it attracted me and I looked again as you look at a sexy lady on the street ? I feel so bad and I don't know how this happened but it's not the first time I do something like that, I gotta say then I looked again and I felt nothing so I don't know what's the truth... I'm just worried bc I read once that sexually looking at children is child sexual abuse (she didn't even notice me looking at her so I don't know) can someone tell me what is this? Thank you 

Edited by lily17
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Your reaction shows how you feel about this. You are placing a lot of importance on your reaction to you looking. You would have just glanced across and then told yourself how wrong it is and then you feel the dread you feel. It does not make you a bad person at all.

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4 hours ago, lily17 said:

can someone tell me what is this? 

I think you know what this is, Lily. You're back to asking for reassurance that you're not a bad person. You know how to deal with these compulsions. Let's see you put it into practice. :) 

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