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Struggling again ... Please help


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Hi everyone ,

I haven't been on here for a while to try and avoid the compulsion , but also because I have recently been more relaxed and I actually had a few days where I felt like I didn't even have OCD or anything wrong with me , at one point I even started to be believe maybe my OCD was a misunderstanding diagnosis , but then recently something new crept up. This is going to sound really weird and I'm sorry if it makes anyone uncomfortable. I was in the garden with my brother last week and he was playing around ( he's 9 ) and I started to tease him like siblings do, later my grandma started showing me how to plant and I realised he has sat directly opposite me , and he was staring at me , once I had caught him staring the first time he looked away, then he did it again and this time he give an awkward smile , I couldn't help but to think people only do this type of stare when they are attracted to someone , and then I started to think maybe he is attracted to me ( sorry I know this isn't pleasant). I thought it was my OCD so I just ignored it, but I also realised his behaviour around me has changed , he is nicer to me than usual and tries to walk beside me all the time or sits near me , and also still stares , which he never used to do , this got me thinking that maybe it's not my OCD and he is attracted to me , as my OCD cannot explain his behaviour. I later asked my mam if she had told him to be more polite towards me because I was going through a tough time but she said she hadn't , and that he may be acting this way because he knows I'm always upset about things right now , but I don't know if this is the case , I'm really scared , what if he is attracted to me ? After all he is only 9 and Im not sure if most children understand the idea of incest and it being wrong , can someone please help me I'm really struggling out here ? 

I'm going to start distancing from him just because I'm scared of what's going on , I hope this all isn't what it seems.

Thank you.

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Distancing from him is the WRONG thing to do. It's avoidance, which is a compulsion. 

I'm not going to debate the meaning of what's going on. The fact you are stuck on this is a clear sign of OCD.

What did he do? He stared and smiled. Oh, of all the rotten things to do! You see where I'm coming from? Your mind took a totally innocent and minor thing and tried to blow it up into something terrible.

Don't buy into it. Let it go.

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Hi Blossom :)

PB is quite right.  Distancing yourself from your Brother is exactly the wrong thing to do.  You need to try your very best to carry on as you always have done and would do normally.  Equally is looking out for the rumination (thinking about the problem) and trying to solve it, work it out.  Seeking reassurance from others is another major compulsion.  So there are three obvious compulsions going on there.  We use various compulsions to try and bring our anxiety down but it has the opposite effect, apart from a very short time.

You know that you have OCD  and that this is what makes you feel as doubtful and anxious as you do.  When the urge to carry out any of these compulsions remember the cause, OCD.  Try and recognise the compulsions you do to try & solve things & do your best to reduce and eliminate this.  Be aware that at first, this will make you feel very anxious but that's normal

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Thank you caramoole, I will try to avoid all these compulsions , it's going to take a lot of practice , because I always end up doing them again.

Thank you I really appreciate the replies.

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It does take practise Blossom, that's a good description.  But yes, it's like any skill, if you learn the things you need to do and then practise changing the initial response, you'll get better at it.  Start today.  You will be looking for signs of this happening, that's a checking behaviour.  Be prepared for  this happening, don't be shocked or taken aback.  It will still make you anxious but changing that next step, the pull to carry out compulsions will start to pay off.

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Hi caramoole, 

Yes I definitely automatically start observing what he's doing even if he just walks into the room , but I try to communicate as normal , although I find it hard to have physical contact like a high five , I'm trying to start off slow , I hope I can keep to it .

Thank you I really appreciate the help.

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