Imhotep Posted June 24, 2020 Share Posted June 24, 2020 Hi all, I've been having a pretty good day, until at 3pm, when an absolute stinker of a thought came to me suddenly. Catch-22 esque. It doesn't even make sense looking back, but I went to pieces. I cried for a solid hour, and honestly felt it might be best to go to an institution, to keep me safe. As it is, my parents came to collect me, now I'm staying with them for the time being. I feel a lot better, however I've left my girlfriend on her own having spent the last 3 months with her isolating, as she is vulnerable to the virus. Of course she was upset, but understood it was for the best to move out. She knew it was going to happen at some point, just not this soon, in the space of an afternoon. I'm just at a loss of how to progress from this. I've been seeing a therapist for the last month, I've bought some more books, learned so much of what to do and not, and now feel like I'm back to square one. I just want the courage to believe in my conviction, not the bullpoo the OCD says to scare me. Link to comment
ThrowawayForObviousReasons Posted June 24, 2020 Share Posted June 24, 2020 Hello, I know it may not feel like it right now, but you will be able to progress from this. What I get from you saying that this spike is your worst in years is that you have found a way to manage your OCD in the past, and I believe if you have done it once you will be able to do so again, even if it takes a while. We're in the midst of a global pandemic, and I think you deserve some credit for holding together this far in the face of all of this worldwide stress, as well as for taking good steps in regards to your OCD, like seeing a therapist and reading more. It may feel like it, but you are not back to step one. The horrible thoughts and stress you are feeling right now do not define you, and cannot ever erase the progress you have made in the past, your wins against OCD, and the coping skills you have learned. Be kind to yourself, and don't feel bad about having to move out- at the time it was necessary for your mental health. best of luck! You've got this Link to comment
Imhotep Posted June 24, 2020 Author Share Posted June 24, 2020 Thanks TFOR, that means a lot My confidence took a big knock, and as bad as the thoughts were, I've got through it for the rest of the day. In fact my recent relapse started about a month ago, after various stresses at once. I do need to practice more self compassion as well, perhaps I'm frustrated I haven't made the progress I thought it would, or OCD worms it way around the tools I'm using. Link to comment
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