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A smoker delivered my groceries and I feel like I was assaulted


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I am very angry. I received a grocery delivery and as I was unpacking I noticed a strong cigarette smell. I think he actually smoked while my groceries were in the car. 

I couldn't detect the smell once I got rid of the bags, so I put the groceries in a cupboard, and a couple things in the fridge. Then I realized that the residue is still there when even if I can't smell it anymore; someone with a better sense of smell could. I was able to get a refund so I just tossed all the food-- but this was after having it in my home for a couple hours. 

My concern is the third hand smoke exposure. I read it is just as dangerous as first hand exposure, and it's almost impossible to air out. 

So now what... I have smoke permanently trapped in my apartment, and I may have gotten cancer? Invisible chemicals in my home that will never go away.  Toxic residue that is known to cause cancer.

And since I inhaled a strong wiff of it, I now have nicotine inside me (I think) and no telling how long it will stay in my bloodstream. Am I going to start craving death sticks now??

I am so angry at this smoker. How can someone maintain a habit that affects the health and safety of others? They're as bad as sex offenders and I feel like I've been assaulted.  

How can I move on from this? 

Summary:

I'm concerned about..

1) the affects of third hand smoke exposure on my health

2) the implications of inhaling nicotine

3) the lingering residue in my apartment

Edited by ineedahug
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Hi Ineedahug,

I loathe cigarette fumes and the lingering smell too, I find it infuriating that I have it forced on me for the reason that others enjoy smoking or are addicted and not always considerate of where they smoke.

I'm sure you already know this on some level, but there's no danger whatsoever in picking up the smell of smoke on something or from the minute amount of tar that might be left on your shopping. The real danger from smoking lies in being a long term heavy smoker yourself or secondary smoke from long term living with a heavy smoker,  or spending a lot of time in/working in an environment where people are smoking constantly (eg working in a nightclub that allows smoking). It's longterm exposure to large amounts of the chemicals that's the problem.

Seeing as you're on an OCD site, it suggests you're already aware that this concern is OCD talking, contamination-fear OCD in particular. 

Best cut down on Googling anything about third hand smoke. Somebody somewhere will have speculated about potential risks of this and many other daily occurrences - there's probably even studies out there proving Sellotape can be dangerous if you use it often enough.  :)

As for the person who delivered your groceries smoking, or using a vehicle that they often smoke in, this is poor service, and you can complain to the company who arranged this service. Nobody wants their food shopping stinking of stale cigarette smoke.

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23 hours ago, ineedahug said:

How can I move on from this? 

First, you need to recognize the sense of threat you feel is not matched by the actual risk of the situation.
Second, you need to consider how a person without this particular obsessive fear would react in a situation like this.
Third, you need to try your best to react that way.
Fourth, you need to try to avoid behaviors that reinforce the idea that there is a high risk in situations like this.

Cigarettes are certainly not healthy and second hand smoke CAN be a problem.  

Here are some reasonable reactions:

  • Its reasonable to try and avoid smokers and smoking
  • Its reasonable to find smoking to be a disgusting habit
  • Its reasonable to be annoyed by a delivery person smoking while making your delivery
  • Its reasonable to provide feedback about the situation to the delivery provider


Here are behaviors that are extreme/unnecessary

  • Throwing out all that you ordered
  • Ruminating about the long term effects of toxic chemicals from this incident
  • Ruminating about becoming addicted from this incident
  • Continuing to allow the anger over this minor incident to fester

The odds that this minor exposure to cigarette smoke having ANY impact your (or others) physical health essentially zero.  Yet the OCD driven extreme reaction is having a significant negative impact on your life, far far far far FAR worse than the actual impact of the incident.  Its like putting someone in prison for 30 years because they returned their book to the library one day late.  The punishment far outweighs the crime.

I understand that the emotions you are feeling are real.  You feel angry, you feel scared, you feel upset.  All of that is true, and unpleasant.  But the actual threat is just not there.  Part of overcoming OCD is learning to separate how we FEEL about a situation, from how we react to it.  You move on by choosing to move on.


 

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