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Perinatal OCD around baby’s name


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Hi everyone, I am new to this forum. 
I am 37 weeks pregnant and getting ready to welcome baby. My pregnancy has so far been going very well with no particular issues. 
As we are approaching the birth, my partner and I have been discussing names for our baby. We found one we both love, but one day on a forum I found that a baby called that name unfortunately passed away. Since then I have this recurrent thought that if I chose this name this will happen to my baby, so I wanted to change name. I found another one that I liked but similar thoughts are now coming, and I keep thinking about this the whole day, and at night. Would you say that this is a type of perinatal OCD? I guess I am just so lost in these repetitive thoughts and just looking for solutions to find help me manage the situation... thanks. 

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Hi Mumtobe. Welcome to the forum and congratulations on you upcoming event! :welcome:  I'm sorry to hear that this exciting time is being affected by these kind of thoughts and worries.

What you are describing is a form of 'magical thinking'. This is where you associate thoughts or feelings with something that has it has absolutely no connection with at all. As if a name could somehow be 'lucky' or 'unlucky'. I suspect your reaction to the names reflects a general (and very normal) concern that something might go wrong with the birth or your baby's health. So any name could carry the same feelings of danger because it's not the name that's the problem but the feeling. Sometimes just understanding why your brain is creating these worries is enough to put the feelings aside and ignore them.

When the thoughts arise remind yourself that a thought has no power to determine the future. Thinking something doesn't make it come true. I bet you readily accept that fact for things like thinking you'll win the lottery won't make it happen since there are no strong feelings involved. It's only because this is important to you that the feelings are strong. Strong feelings can override all logic!

Whatever name you choose it can neither hurt nor protect your baby, so choose one you and your husband both like. It may help to counter the negative worries by creating new associations in your mind between the chosen name and happy preparations you're doing such as 'This is xxxxx's nursery and the family are looking forward to xxxxx's happy arrival.' :)

I hope the remainder of your pregnancy goes well and isn't spoiled by any more unwelcome thoughts. Do come back and let us know how you're doing! And remember to have a chat with your midwife if you have persistent mental health concerns before or after the birth.

 

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