Jump to content

weird ocd symptom?


Recommended Posts

Hello

Sorry if this takes a while to get top the point.

I suffer from intrusive thought OCD where i worry that i might harm people. After 2 courses of CBD and a good therapist i had reached a stage wher is was coping well. The along comes covid and lockdown and as an NHS worker the stresses restarted my ocd . I have been using mindful meditation and grounding techniques to manage stress and always try to think of positive things before sleepiin. As lockdown has eased some friends have invited me round to site in their garden i liv alone in  a tower block. They live about 10minutes walk away and until last weekend i had been round several times with no, problems. Last saturday evening i went round and we had a few drinks, then when walking home i suddenly panicked as i thought i saw something odd out of the corner of my eye.

I shrugged it off and carried on home, however the next day i was worried i had hurt someone ( i had not passed anyone else on the way home) and wanted to go back and check i resisted this all day but had to pass the street the next day and saw nothing wrong.

Anyway they invited me back again this saturday and i was very apprehensive about going but made myself go. Again we had a couple of drinks and chatted, when it was time to go home i was anxious but after some deep breathing i started off,  and tried to think mindfully, again i passed no one but at the end of the street again thought something was odd and i needed to go back and check but did not and carried on home. Before going to sleep i tried to think i had acted positively in facing my fear and going and that i had no need to be anxious about anything.

This is when something weird happened, at about 5am i woke up and my brain seemed to be in a hyperactive state, i seemed to see lots of thoughts flashing through my brain  but couldn,t read all of them i had to make myself concentrate on my thoughts before sleeping about walking home to drown them out. This left me very anxious and worried that my brain was trying to tell me i really did need to go back and check, i was so anxious i couldn,t get back to sleep. I am wondering if anyone else with OCD has had such a weird thing happen to them, or maybe the whole thing was some strange dream but it didn,t feel like a dream at the time.

Link to comment

Hello,

I think I've experienced a similar thing that might be an OCD symptom, as sometimes when I'm half asleep or thinking about something else I see a thought that makes me anxious sort of in my brains peripheral vision, like I know it's there but it isn't articulated in words/images yet, and the idea that it could be and that it could represent something awful/ make me want to do a compulsion still causes me anxiety.

I'm not entirely sure if I'm on the same page as you experience-wise, but I think the cycling through half thoughts and being concerned they'll lead to OCD compulsions is just your brain being anxious and anticipating possible future anxiety.

Link to comment

Its really strange you mentioned about the flashes & brain all hyperactive, since I was a child I’ve experienced the same thing. Usually when lying in bed, I always described it as similar to the scene in “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” movie when they’re on the boat on the chocolate river & everything around them speeds by. I always brushed it to one side and not tried to focus on it but maybe there is a link between people with OCD & how we overthink things so much our heads are constantly on overdrive & when we try and relax we just cant. Just a thought. Nice to know not alone though 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...