How does an OCD episode feel to you?

[Slowcoach]

I'm just trying to figure out my experience of depression / OCD and work out exactly what it is that keeps happening.

I've had (and still have) low level OCD since I was about 15. I mean things like worrying about is something asbestos or did Ieave the gas on. But then I go through much more intense episodes, when it really gets on top of me.

My symptoms would be maybe feeling very tired one day, then the next day the intense rumination starts. After that it can get to the point where I can't get out of bed in the morning, I can't eat, I'm extremely anxious and can't stop the thoughts. I can't think straight - I'd do pretty much anything to make it better. Often Googling stuff I know I shouldn't, drinking too much at night. This will go on all day and maybe ease off in the evening. It can last up to two weeks, although sometimes it's shorter. There are various themes which come back, and sometimes a new one will crop up.

I take a high dose of venlafaxine which doesn't help much. Only exercise seems to dull it a bit, but often I can't get out of bed to do it. It's an enormous struggle to even get to the point of brushing my teeth.

Does anyone else experience it in this way? I don't know if it's depression or intense anxiety which wipes me out so much. I first had it when I was 23 after trying to get help from my family and being ignored, and then splitting up with my girlfriend.

Edited July 15, 2020 by Slowcoach

[angels]

Sorry your getting it tough atm, I think when we are all going through and episode of ocd we can feel like that. For me I get mentally tired and if I feed the ocd by paying attention or googling etc which is a compulsion, but I do it also at times.. seeking relief but it doesnt work long term. I dont suffer depression just anxiety but ocd can get you down when it doesnt lift for a bit. I try to keep routine, walk most days and I enjoy the wine lol also. But if i am having a bad episode i stay off it because it increases anxiety and lowers the mood. Routine is a life safer and distraction .

[Angst]

One way to clarify whether you have depression is to take Beck’s depression inventory. It is generally available.  Beck is perhaps the major international name in CBT and his original work was in depression. I have had episodes of depression and episodes of OCD. To separate out what is depression and what is anxiety needs the help of a competent therapist and the standard psychological tests for OCD and depression can assist in identifying one from the another which a therapist can use in the course of therapy to measure your progress. Are you having therapy at the moment?