Where to draw the line - OCD or necessary in current times?

[Starlight]

Hello. The title pretty much says it all. Where do you draw the line in current times? But I will give you some background information below.

It must be getting on for about 10 years since I last frequented these forums. Back then I was a teen struggling with OCD, mainly focused on checking. I had CBT and over time OCD wasn't a big part of my life anymore. Through other aspects of my life too, I got quite good at being out of my comfort zone, feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I'm still a naturally anxious person and I've come to accept that is just me, but I'm fairly good at ignoring that anxiety and not letting it control my life.  

Over the years I have on occasion out of the blue found myself suddenly doing an old compulsion. But I would notice my behaviour, think 'come on, what are you doing', recognise my worries are unfounded and walk away and feel the fear briefly. I would nip it in the bud, aware of not wanting to let old habits take hold again. For example, if I get in the car and worry if I've locked the door properly or not I just drive off. Someone without OCD might be able to get out and check the door is locked once and be done with it. I know if I allow myself to listen to the worry that once can become 3 times which becomes 10 times and suddenly we've spiralled. So I can't afford to give OCD that inch because it will try to take a mile so it's easier to just deal with it from the off.

So although most the time these days I don't really consider myself having OCD, I aslo recognise it is there in the background and that I have to be mindful of my thoughts and behaviour to keep not letting it take hold again. I'd like it to stay in the background!

Which brings me on to the pandemic. I struggle to know where to draw the line between what is necessary and should be done, and what is slowly starting to become that unhealthy behaviour and I am mindful if I let it go to far I could fall back into those unhealthy habits and thought patterns with my OCD focus changing more towards contamination. It is natural to be anxious and worry about getting ill and family in a pandemic. But I struggle to know what is 'normal' behaviour when you have the mix of those who think the government is changing things to fast, to those who no longer follow the rules and no longer social distance and seem to act as if the pandemic is over. I find myself not wanting to touch things other people could have like gates for example when I'm out walking, and if I start on cleaning things that come in from outside we can get into a never ending spiral.

At the moment it is not having too much of an affect on my life. I am living with others who do the food shopping on the way home from work. I don't have friends close by to go and see. I go out only if I need to except for exercise, and I try to time all of that to minimise my contact with people. Which partly feels like a responsible thing to do in a pandemic but partly feels like unhealthy behaviour avoiding the outside world. I've self diagnosed social anxiety which probably makes this worse, as social situations can cause me anxiety and now there is a whole new way of interacting with people people to learn so I'm quite happy living in my little bubble. I have still been to the shops a couple of times though and not avoided it completely.

My work cannot open yet, but I am concerned how it will be when I have to go back. It will be stressful and I don't want to slip into additional unhealthy behaviour. Just before lockdown I took a promotion and just started my new job. It is a job with a lot of responsibility, and honestly I am not being over dramatic when I say it is a job where if I make a mistake I could kill someone. So when I return I will have the stress of a new job I was already worried about doing, on top of learning to live in the pandemic world. I will be responsible for carrying out any new guidance but struggle to know what is responsible, and what could be OCD overkill. At home I generally just handwash normally and don't go into the cleaning spiral. I've seen the guidance produced by another similar company and it has lots about disinfecting stuff between people swapping over and not sharing equipment as much as possible, toilets must be cleaned from top to bottom after every use to try to avoid using them, cleaning everything that has been touched etc etc. Some aspects of the job does have people in very close proximity and so higher risks which is why we still are not allowed to open. Being the person responsible, being someone who likes to do the 'right' thing and particularly having to follow guidance like that could be a challenge. I think my interpretation of cleaning everything that has been touched or cleaning top to bottom could be very different to other's, with me being extremely thorough and it being literally everything. So where and how do you draw the line?

Sorry this ended up being an essay, I really didn't mean to! Many thanks

 

[AmandaG]

The best answers I can think to give are 1) look at the national guidance, WHO guidance and your employer's guidance, and 2) what did you generally consider was sufficient cleaning (not during your worst periods of OCD thoughts) before the pandemic?

Although you undoubtedly feel a lot more personal responsibility beyond basic duties, most people would think that following their employer's guidance would be enough. If you have concerns above and beyond that, and think others might also reasonably be concerned, reading the basic national and the WHO guidance, then discussing it with your employer if your work guidance is not compliant with even the basics of these, sounds reasonable to me. If you notice yourself reading into things too much and looking at potentially more worrying interpretations, then that's probably OCD talking.

Without knowing exactly what your role and your line of work is, it's difficult to say what is and isn't overkill. Unless you're offering bespoke one-to-one services, it's probably not realistic to clean every part of a toilet and all touched surfaces between users. It *is* reasonable to disinfect and clean (in the same way as cleaners normally did before the pandemic) at more regular intervals, and advise everyone to wash their hands after using the toilet. And advise them to wash their hands before eating or touching their face after using shared equipment or touching surfaces regularly touched by others (such as door handles).

The social situation is just an odd one for everyone at the moment. The national guidance actually says how many people/households you can meet from outside of your own household, and if distancing or other mitigations (like masks) are required. I don't think anyone is now completely locked down, even people who are shielding can meet some others in some circumstances, with distancing in place. So doing that is reasonable, and avoiding that may be avoidance. But I'm aware that an awful lot of people are waiving a lot of the rules now, visiting or going drinking whoever they like regardless of how many households they have contact with, letting their children play out with children from many different families etc. While it's the social norm now in some places for people to break the rules, I'd still say it's not OCD or social anxiety overkill to continue to abide by the rules.

Edited July 19, 2020 by AmandaG

[Handy]

There is a big topic on this by the staff. They refer to it as Coronavirus tho.

[Angst]

I can identify with you experiences. Part of the problem is that the advice changes both in the case of  the UK government and WHO  -  one example being the use of  facemasks in public places. This is bound to occur as the virus is seven months old.  I have followed the generalised world advice and for example used facemasks some time ago  -  following from my relatives experiences in  Canada and their laws as well as many places in Europe and the Far East. I would prefer central rules from the government about health and safety at work in each employment sector. I know people in the hotel sector following Irish rules rather than individual employers deciding what is safe. Sorry no easy answer. The objective situation is difficult we can only muddle along and hope to keep up spirits up. But is does sound as if you are overreacting in expectation. Those of us with OCD do do better than imagined when faced with real situations.

[jennielouises]

I know how you feel. In my role I’m actually responsible for reading the WHO and HSE guidance and creating the guidance for employees. I’m good with where to draw the line at work but I’m struggling at home. I know the guidance is to just wash you hands a lot and avoid touching your face. But then I’d be stressed and anxious all the time. At least this way I have a safe space but I find it hard to control what germs come into my safe space. Especially as I don’t want it to drive a wedge between me and my husband. Before the pandemic I would have challenged my thoughts about the contamination and just let everything get “dirty” and waited for the anxiety to reduce. So I also was pretty much in control. But now it’s taking over 

[PolarBear]

Jennie, 'it' is not taking over. It has no motives, wants or desires. It simply reacts to what you do. The more you pay attention to the thoughts and do compulsions, the more thoughts you will get and the more anxiety you will feel.