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Hi everyone hope you’re all well, I haven’t been on for a while. My mum has been quite ill, physically and mentally. We have had to deal with so many problems, to get the help she required, but I think we have finally done it. My contamination OCD has not been good, but I have managed to get out of the flat and drive again, to my parents, my daughters have been fantastic helping whenever, one of them has had to go back to work now, so it is down to my self and my daughter, carers go into mum 4 Times a day. I have really been out of my comfort zone, but I’ve not once let anyone down, once. I have made my self do things that I haven’t done for years, I have cried buckets, I have shook so bad, I have sweated beyond normal, I still scan the pavement, roads etc when driving and sometimes have to drive around the block again to check it’s nothing dangerous that I have seen. I have had some long and horrendous showers, when I return home. I speak with my therapist once a week on the telephone. I still don’t feel comfortable doing the same jobs in my own home, I feel tremendous pressure, but can’t do them yet. My husband isn’t always very patient with me, but never mind. My fears are discarded food, rubbish, dog and cat poo, just driving past any of these makes me feel covered in it, even though I am in my car. It’s very hard not to give in on everything, but I am trying really really hard. Thank you for reading this long post. X

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