Angry OCD compulsions

[Slowcoach]

I just wondered if anybody else gets this type of OCD and compulsion. Without going into all the details, my parents were well meaning people who were completely tone deaf to mental health. They found it incredibly hard to understand my OCD and this was on top of my Dad struggling with alcoholism. Anyway, it has caused me a huge amount of harm and meant I've missed out on what could have been a great life. My Dad is no longer alive, but my Mum is and she tries to help me a lot these days. I'm not naturally someone who likes to blame people and make them feel bad. The thing is when I get OCD spikes, one of the things which comes back is this incredible anger, and I think it's OCD type compulsions to go over and over what my parents got wrong. It can be all day - well anyone with OCD knows that experience. The thing is it makes me act really badly towards my Mum which is terrible. I can see now that it's a compulsion and I'm getting better at ignoring it. I just wondered if anybody else had had this experience. I think it is OCD but maybe an unusual type?

[AmandaG]

Have you had a chance to discuss this with a therapist, Slowcoach? It might or might not have any connection with your OCD, but suppressed anger can be harmful to your mental and even your physical health eventually.

Anger's a completely natural emotional response to loss, and to real or perceived threats, and needs to be expressed or worked through, ideally in a constructive and assertive way, rather than a loss of temper. But I'd say that not expressing it at all, or feeling guilt about this anger, can be just harmful as losing your temper with someone. It could exacerbate your OCD because of a buildup of emotion and stress. It might not simply be the case that OCD ruminations are making you experience anger - it could be the case that suppressed, unresolved anger and the intense stress of this is contributing to bad bouts of OCD.

[Slowcoach]

Hey, thanks for that insight. Maybe it is that way round. There's definitely an OCD element to it, in that I can stop doing it if I use mindfulness. But it may well be behind the OCD at the same time. My family were difficult in a way I still don't understand. Two therapists have also been at a loss for how they acted. They turned what should have been a manageable situation into a total disaster by not doing any of the sensible things I expected, not being able to grasp simple things like OCD being a long term condition which could recur. In spite of being well-meaning people, they really messed my life and my mind up. So - it's very hard not to get angry whenever OCD comes back. I'll mention it to the therapist I'm seeing.