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Question about intrusive thoughts


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Hi guys so my question is basically I have a system to deal with intrusive thoughts as they come in. This is fine but here is where it gets complicated... sometimes I carry around feelings or guilt about just being guilty in relation to my pocd theme I have. I’m wondering how can I apply my coping strategy when I can’t identify where the feeling came in? I hope I am making sense. Thanks for reading x

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You don't need to know where the feelings came from. Negative feelings (anxiety, guilt, shame, disgust, etc) are part of OCD. Obsessions are short lived but the negative feelings they cause can be long lasting.

So, what to do? Get on with your day. Pay them no attention. That actually trains your brain, over time, not to bother generating those feelings when it pops up with intrusive thoughts. 

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16 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

You don't need to know where the feelings came from. Negative feelings (anxiety, guilt, shame, disgust, etc) are part of OCD. Obsessions are short lived but the negative feelings they cause can be long lasting.

So, what to do? Get on with your day. Pay them no attention. That actually trains your brain, over time, not to bother generating those feelings when it pops up with intrusive thoughts. 

Ok so more of the same then. Thanks for your input PB. I’m going on holiday tomorrow and historically my ocd flares up when I am on holidays so I would love for this not to happen for a change. 

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Guest dimmerswitch

Keep busy on your holiday Nikki. This will support you in paying no attention to the intrusive thoughts. The thoughts are not worth our time. If a thought pops up go, oh, another thought, hey-ho, right what’s next, the beach, lunch, a spot of reading, or just enjoying life to the full. 

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Hi Nikki,

 

Firstly thanks for asking the question because I have exactly the same with the same theme.  I guess that shows that it is just the OCD playing another angle. OCD is classically known as providing feelings of shame, guilt etc so without even having a thought we still feel the guilt and everything that comes with it. 

 

Having had it for 15 years I used to do anything to get rid of the anxiety, distract myself etc. Now I change it a little and sit for just a little while with the anxiety and feelings, acknowledge they are there and they suck and then get up and get on with life. It's really difficult but my CBT therapist told me last year to not avoid or sit and dwell so I just get on, sometimes I have to really push myself to do it because I never feel better by doing nothing. 

 

Enjoy your holiday ?

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Thanks so much guys for replying and I’m so glad I wrote the thread if it helped you Laura86. It’s a cruel condition and poses so many questions. For me right now because it’s going so long I’m always thinking I must be guilty of something or somehow harmed those love the most? Do you know what I am saying? That’s how I feel at the moment cos it’s been in my life so long!! I also think  there have been so many instances of anxiety and doubt and I’ve had every kind of worry, idea blurred memory etc about things that I’m thinking is there something there or there must be, I just feel that way you know...

Edited by Nikki79
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Yeah I completely get that...I have guilt over the thoughts but also guilt at how I am when I am going through a particularly bad time. 

My guilt is just because I've even had the thought...my CBT therapist really helped me last year and I am on a waiting list for more with her. She really understood what I was dealing with and understood the feelings that came with it and made me understand it's all part of the cycle.  

It is an awful condition and sometimes I get so mad because I feel like it's unfair, but i know that does nothing but give me pain.. 

I believe you are probably in the same boat with the guilt, I don't think it's a sign of actual guilt for an action but more the lingering effects of the intrusions going on for so long. 

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17 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Negative feelings (anxiety, guilt, shame, disgust, etc) are part of OCD.

I would note that negative feelings are part of life in general.  OCD can amplify them, and that sucks, but its normal to have negative feelings to begin with.

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When do we get to feel ok tho? I mean I am doing the ERP, I’m using a coping technique with my thoughts and I honestly just want to feel like a person not affected by OCD. That has happened to me before but it always comes back. Sometimes it’s just so much more than I can bare ☹️ 

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49 minutes ago, dksea said:

I would note that negative feelings are part of life in general.  OCD can amplify them, and that sucks, but its normal to have negative feelings to begin with.

Absolutely,  I have found many who don't suffer from OCD or anything in particular still have these negative feelings and is all a part of life's ebbs and flows. 

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6 hours ago, dksea said:

I would note that negative feelings are part of life in general.  OCD can amplify them, and that sucks, but its normal to have negative feelings to begin with.

Aha. Yes, you are correct. These negative feelings are a direct redult of obsessions. 

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17 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Aha. Yes, you are correct. These negative feelings are a direct redult of obsessions. 

PB I’m ok holidays now with my little family and I feel bothered my thoughts. Basically there are these worries in my head, one which is the persistent one that annoys me for months, the others the fear I’ve done something bad now that my child is near 2 years old. It’s hrs to explain except it says I’m guilty and I don’t deserve to be happy, that I’m not like other people. It feels awful. 

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Always does feel awful. OCD is never fun. The question is, are you going to give the thoughts attention, which guarantees they will stick around, or are you going to set them aside and focus on what you should be doing?

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14 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Always does feel awful. OCD is never fun. The question is, are you going to give the thoughts attention, which guarantees they will stick around, or are you going to set them aside and focus on what you should be doing?

How can I set them aside? It feels important coz like I said it’s going on that like. Part of me thinks just accept its OCD and you have nothing to feel bad for and then the other part feels awful, bad guilty and hates myself.

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8 hours ago, Nikki79 said:

How can I set them aside? It feels important coz like I said it’s going on that like. Part of me thinks just accept its OCD and you have nothing to feel bad for and then the other part feels awful, bad guilty and hates myself.

You choose to set them aside. That little voice that tells you it's too important to ignore... that's OCD speaking and it too should be ignored.

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Guest dimmerswitch

It’s just an intrusive thought. That’s all. Pay it no attention and it will go away. Another one will come along. Same again, just a thought. That’s all.

Isn't it odd we don’t get so wound up about thoughts of making a cup of tea? Unless of course you hold tea as some sort of ingredient which must be protected by all means. 

The sort of way you care for your child really.

Oh hang on. That’s it. Ego-dystonic.

We let it bother us as it goes against everything we hold dear. It’s a thought we attach significance to and we blow it out of all proportion.

Treat such intrusive thoughts as the cup of tea, or whatever million thoughts flow in and out of our heads each day. There’s that many, it’s pointless trying reason with them all isn’t it. They’re not worth the time of day.

 

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On 16/08/2020 at 19:13, dimmerswitch said:

It’s just an intrusive thought. That’s all. Pay it no attention and it will go away. Another one will come along. Same again, just a thought. That’s all.

Isn't it odd we don’t get so wound up about thoughts of making a cup of tea? Unless of course you hold tea as some sort of ingredient which must be protected by all means. 

The sort of way you care for your child really.

Oh hang on. That’s it. Ego-dystonic.

We let it bother us as it goes against everything we hold dear. It’s a thought we attach significance to and we blow it out of all proportion.

Treat such intrusive thoughts as the cup of tea, or whatever million thoughts flow in and out of our heads each day. There’s that many, it’s pointless trying reason with them all isn’t it. They’re not worth the time of day.

 

It gets so damn sneaky tho. I for example have all sort of thoughts that look and feel different to me. The worst ones are probably ideas that can scare me more than others and they can last for months. The same advice applies tho doesn’t it? Treat them all the same. It can be very difficult.

Edited by Nikki79
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