ocd zoophilia is back ?

[lily17]

hello everyone, i was doing so good with ocd until i got triggered. i was chatting with a friend and my dog started licking my hand so i let him because it isn't sexual (for once i wasn't paying attention to ocd) and it felt good gave me tingles so i let him lick on my hand a little longer and then i told my friend and he said (joking) "that's how some zoophilias begin" and... that hit me like a rock. it shot me down. i admit i told him about letting my dog lick my hand because it felt good to see what he would say about it, if he didn't say anything then it meant it was alright... i even told my friend, who has no idea of what ocd is, about everything what is, so he would tell me it was alright and then i even asked him if i made him feel bad to check if i was a bad person for telling him all about ocd, and overwhelming him because it's hard to understand ocd if you have 0 idea about it... god i feel so bad about everything, about letting my dog lick my hand a little longer because it gave me tingles (no sexual feelings) and about telling my friend and possibly overwhelming him...

Edited August 13, 2020 by lily17

[PolarBear]

Dogs lick. Get used to it. Where is it written that after a certain length of time, being licked is bad?

All the explanations and questions to your friend were compulsions. They were completely unnecessary. 

[OxCD]

Ok bear with me here - thought experiment. Imagine you could build an anonymising licking machine. It allows a spectrum of people and animals to lick your hand without you knowing who it was. You’ll feel licks. You might like them. That’s ok - as it might feel nice. It might even feel good sexually - whatever. There is nothing wrong with a sensation making you feel a certain way. You rated them all and wrote some scores down. Then I told you which licker was which.... the queen, your Dad, hunky mcspunky, Mickey Mouse, Madonna, Elvis and a llama.... Now even if you enjoyed a particular lick - it doesn’t mean anything as you didn’t know who it was.... You couldn’t say you found Mickey Mouse attractive.... you just liked a sensation. Same is true of your dog (except it wasn’t anonymised so it allowed you to worry it was BECAUSE it was your dog). You just liked a sensation. It is not because it was FROM your dog. It is your OCD making you obsess about whether it was because it was from your dog. That’s what it does - it makes you doubt and question yourself. Ignore it.

Edited August 13, 2020 by OxCD

[lily17]

22 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Dogs lick. Get used to it. Where is it written that after a certain length of time, being licked is bad?

All the explanations and questions to your friend were compulsions. They were completely unnecessary. 

i'm aware they were compulsions but i still did it, sometimes i can't stop myself 

[lily17]

22 hours ago, OxCD said:

Ok bear with me here - thought experiment. Imagine you could build an anonymising licking machine. It allows a spectrum of people and animals to lick your hand without you knowing who it was. You’ll feel licks. You might like them. That’s ok - as it might feel nice. It might even feel good sexually - whatever. There is nothing wrong with a sensation making you feel a certain way. You rated them all and wrote some scores down. Then I told you which licker was which.... the queen, your Dad, hunky mcspunky, Mickey Mouse, Madonna, Elvis and a llama.... Now even if you enjoyed a particular lick - it doesn’t mean anything as you didn’t know who it was.... You couldn’t say you found Mickey Mouse attractive.... you just liked a sensation. Same is true of your dog (except it wasn’t anonymised so it allowed you to worry it was BECAUSE it was your dog). You just liked a sensation. It is not because it was FROM your dog. It is your OCD making you obsess about whether it was because it was from your dog. That’s what it does - it makes you doubt and question yourself. Ignore it.

thank you so much for your response! it's an interesting analysis and it really helped me, thank you  

[ashipinharbor]

You don't start developing a paraphilia. You either have it, or you don't.

[lily17]

8 hours ago, ashipinharbor said:

You don't start developing a paraphilia. You either have it, or you don't.

uhm... what do you mean by this? i'm a bit confused 

[ashipinharbor]

You can't start to develop a paraphilia as an adult. Our sexualities are set in stone once we hit puberty.

If someone has a paraphilia, they generally know by that time.

 

[lily17]

9 hours ago, ashipinharbor said:

You can't start to develop a paraphilia as an adult. Our sexualities are set in stone once we hit puberty.

If someone has a paraphilia, they generally know by that time.

 

oh.... that's an interesting fact i didn't know, thank you for letting me know  

[ashipinharbor]

No problem 

[dksea]

On 15/08/2020 at 04:44, lily17 said:

i'm aware they were compulsions but i still did it, sometimes i can't stop myself 

Sure, its hard to resist compulsions sometimes, if it wasn't OCD wouldn't be a problem.  But recognizing compulsions and understanding that they aren't helpful in the long run is important too.  You can work on reducing compulsions and resisting them longer until you can stop yourself.  Recovery is a journey not an on/off switch.  Its ok to make mistakes, its ok to not be perfect, but if you work on improvement, work towards a goal, then you will be able to stop yourself.

[lily17]

4 hours ago, dksea said:

Sure, its hard to resist compulsions sometimes, if it wasn't OCD wouldn't be a problem.  But recognizing compulsions and understanding that they aren't helpful in the long run is important too.  You can work on reducing compulsions and resisting them longer until you can stop yourself.  Recovery is a journey not an on/off switch.  Its ok to make mistakes, its ok to not be perfect, but if you work on improvement, work towards a goal, then you will be able to stop yourself.

yes, i recognize all of my compulsions. all of them. it just there are times that i can't help but doing them... 

[dksea]

15 hours ago, lily17 said:

it just there are times that i can't help but doing them... 

Thats understandable and relatable.  I'd be surprised if you could simply ignore them all the time.  You're goal should be to reduce the frequency and/or duration of compulsions with the ultimate goal of stopping them, but it can take time.  

One approach is to try and delay doing a compulsion, even if its just for 5 minutes.  Then see if you can delay another 5 minutes.  Maybe you can't, but if you at least try, you'll find it becomes easier and easier.

Another approach is to set aside a specific time where you allow yourself to do compulsions/rumination etc.  Some people find that by not trying to deny it completely but put it off to a scheduled time its less difficult.  And you might find that later you don't feel as strong a need to do it anyway.

 

[lily17]

On 18/08/2020 at 05:24, dksea said:

Thats understandable and relatable.  I'd be surprised if you could simply ignore them all the time.  You're goal should be to reduce the frequency and/or duration of compulsions with the ultimate goal of stopping them, but it can take time.  

One approach is to try and delay doing a compulsion, even if its just for 5 minutes.  Then see if you can delay another 5 minutes.  Maybe you can't, but if you at least try, you'll find it becomes easier and easier.

Another approach is to set aside a specific time where you allow yourself to do compulsions/rumination etc.  Some people find that by not trying to deny it completely but put it off to a scheduled time its less difficult.  And you might find that later you don't feel as strong a need to do it anyway.

 

my psychologist adviced me just what you wrote in the last paragraph, to say "okay i'll do it later" when a need for compulsions comes