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I read so much about ocd it's literally taken over my life. When I hear other stories and feel it is not exactly the same as mine I then feel this is not Ocd. For example false memories. A thought will come up in someone's head a month, years down the line of something traumatic. For me I had a thought and then it spiralled out of control from that thought but the thought was triggered by an actual event. Can OCD twist the truth and make you believe in something complete opposite to the actual real thing. Can it make a situation worse than what it actually really is. Can it add and manipulate the actual scenario to make you feel the worst of the worst and give severe anxiety and guilt

For example let's just say you said something out of context in work to a colleague then straight after you said that you start thinking did I say that? What if I offended them? Am I going to lose my job and home? To then worry and panic about it for a long time later. After this moment then you try and resolve the situation to see if your work colleagues are still talking to you then you naturally thinking in your head, oh if they are talking to me then this situation must be OK. For me this happened, so when I got home I decided to phone the office and speak to the member involved and made up some story that I left my wallet and asked to see if she could check. I never did lose my wallet but I just wanted to see if the individual was off with me. 

So to sum it up can ocd change a thought/add to a thought at that present moment in time and make it actually worse than what it is? 

Thanks

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Yes.

Look, I spent 10 years researching OCD and trying to find someone just like me, with the ssme symptoms and thoughts. Ten years! It was pointless.

You won't find another you. Do give up trying. All you need for your problem to be OCD is:

Obsessions. Commonly called intrusive thoughts. Can be intrusive images, feelings, fears, sensations, urges.

Distress caused by the obsessions. Usually referred to as anxiety but can be liathing, shame, disgust, etc.

Compulsions. Rituals, behaviors or mental rituals done to try and alleviate the distress and/or to stop a perceived bad thing ftom happening.

Doubt. Most people acknowledge there is a good deal of doubt present with their OCD.

That's it. If you have those, uou have OCD. All the what ifs going through uour hesd are just distracting you from the truth.

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Thanks Polar Bear. 

Can a thought stem from a thought? For me I seen a horrible word online and now I feel as I've done somethi g more sinister and I thinking the worst of the worst scenario. I have no memory of this but I can not dismiss it as a thought as the feelings attached  to it is so convincing. I wish I could jusy let it go but I can't and that what makes me believe that there could be some truth in it. 

How do you define compulsions? Basically once this happened and still a year on I'm constantly googling my problems to try and find something similar to mine, this helps but then soon after I'm looking again. I'm constantly replying the time it happened in my head a year ago trying to remember what I was doing and trying to picture me actually doing something horrible but I can't. I'm constantly looking at news articles about P's being caught and looking at thier sentences. Its horrible, I've gone so past the stage to just try and ignore it to the point where I believe it could be real but how could it be real if I don't know what it is that I've supposed to have done. My take on it is I seen this word CP on a Wikipedia page, freaked out, deleted my history (big mistake) as now i can't even check and now a thought has come to say that I've accessing something really taboo online and it picks the worst of the worst. My absolute worst fear would be to be classed as P, I couldn't live with myself. I try to tell myself I haven't done anything  but just simply seen that word and my OCD did the rest. For one I wouldn't do a thing like that and two I wouldn't know how but I just have no faith in myself. Its so overpowering and thoughts say "but what if you were curious" or "what if you did this weeks before you had your episode but suppresses the memory" 

I find for me it's easier to accept it then prove I haven't done anything than to try and ignore it. 

This is the only time in my life 33 years that's something like this has happened to me on this scale and that also puts doubt there that's its even OCD. I haven't had constant intrusive thoughts I don't believe, only this one that has led me down this path of fear, guilt and certain doom. 

Sorry to go on, it's just nice to write it down. 

Thanks 

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Hi Polar Bear, 

Fair play to you, your a credit to this site. 

I really don't want to say that word. It terrifies me. I feel by saying that word something bad will happen and I don't want that word to associate with me.

Can I ask though, wouldn't the non sufferer of OCD act in this way? What differes between us? How can this be defined as ocd. 

Thanks 

 

Chris 

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No, because non-OCD people easily dismiss random, junk thoughts. They don't pay attention to them. 

You are allowing a word, a collection of letters, to have control over you. It's just a word. Typing it does not make you one. 

It is OCD because you have obsessions, distress and compulsions, all wrapped up in doubt. You don't see it because your mind overcomplicates what is going on.

And having doubt about having OCD is a classic OCD symptom.

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But what if it wasn't a random junk thought? Can this thought I had "that I've access something terrible online in relation to CP" come from a real event that was seeing the word CP on a Wikipedia page? Why would it change to the first thought? 

Also I'm not sure if you can answer this but your opinion really matters. If you were to have done something like that wouldn't you remeber doing something such taboo as that? I suppose this is asking for reassurance and possible a compulsion but I'd really like to know other views on that question. 

Can I ask how you ended up here and supporting and helping all these people. I understand and respect if not as it could be a trigger. 

 

Thanks 

 

Chris 

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I'm not going to answer your first couple of questions. They are the result of your mind going a mile a minute and you trying to figure out things that don't need to be figured out. Leave it alone. Go for a walk. Enjoy the scenery have some ice cream. Watch a funny movie.

I came here duting my recovery about seven years ago. I learned a lot. I did well on the road to recovery and wanted to help others. I've been doing this now for about six and a half years.

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10 hours ago, PolarBear said:

came here duting my recovery about seven years ago. I learned a lot. I did well on the road to recovery and wanted to help others. I've been doing this now for about six and a half years.

I'm glad there are people like you in this forum. I see you spend a great deal of time helping people with thier questions. As OCD is like a broken record to some, myself included you must have loads of patience helping people. For someone who has gone through it themselves, you understand what others or going through. 

Thanks again for you input. I'm sure I will be back with other questions but I'm going to try and limit myself coming here now as I'm constantly looking at this page and OCD Action around 12 times a day hoping to read something positive that will help me (for a short while) then other questions branch of from that. It's never ending! 

Anyway thank you and all the best. 

Chris 

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2 hours ago, Chris2020 said:

I'm going to try and limit myself coming here now as I'm constantly looking at this page and OCD Action around 12 times a day hoping to read something positive that will help me (for a short while) then other questions branch of from that. It's never ending! 

Hi Chris,

I don't know if this is helpful (it is probably not) but I'm currently struggling with the same issue. It is never ending indeed. But I hope you stay strong, and, it time, you will slowly defeat OCD!

2 hours ago, Chris2020 said:

I'm glad there are people like you in this forum. I see you spend a great deal of time helping people with thier questions. As OCD is like a broken record to some, myself included you must have loads of patience helping people. For someone who has gone through it themselves, you understand what others or going through

I agree with you. I feel so lucky to have such great help from such great people even when I'm a broken record - thank you so much, @PolarBear

 

Take care, and I hope you are having a lovely Sunday. 

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