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Dreams and Sleep


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Hi guys. I sometimes seem to have dreams like what  my OCD gives me during the day. The problem is I often wake up worried and having to try remember them or I’ll find myself ruminating even when I’m still in the half wake half sleep mode!! This happened this morning. I had some sort of sexual dream and I always worry about pocd and my toddler is in the next room. So I worry that I might get up in my sleep and abuse her somehow. I know it’s horrible but it’s just a bad start to a day when you are this worried!! Thanks for reading and sorry for the post but I’m just upset and need to share this x

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Hi there.

i has this worry too but it was when I was taking mirtazapine. I Was worried that I was in such a deep sleep that I would take my children out and leave them somewhere and come home, it was horrific for me. But I overcome it eventually as I do what I always do and told my self it’s just a thought, And that it would pass eventually(it did). 

It’s all just ocd and I tend to think that if the question starts with “what if” it’s not worth thinking about?‍♀️ 

Are you on any medication or receiving any therapy for your ocd? 

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7 hours ago, rebecca23x said:

Hi there.

i has this worry too but it was when I was taking mirtazapine. I Was worried that I was in such a deep sleep that I would take my children out and leave them somewhere and come home, it was horrific for me. But I overcome it eventually as I do what I always do and told my self it’s just a thought, And that it would pass eventually(it did). 

It’s all just ocd and I tend to think that if the question starts with “what if” it’s not worth thinking about?‍♀️ 

Are you on any medication or receiving any therapy for your ocd? 

Hi Rebecca,

I’m sorry you had to experience something similar. I am taking Anafranil now and seeing a therapist every few weeks. 

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5 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Dreams mean nothing. Trying yo remember what your dream was about is what gets you into trouble. Leave it alone.

I’ve actually read a lot of your post talking about compulsions and PB I think there can be so many that we done realize we are doing. 

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8 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Well, the RP in ERP stands for response prevention, which means not doing compulsions. How can you practice not doing compulsions if you are not aware of which ones you do?

It’s true. I think I must have a ton of them.

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Guest dimmerswitch

Maybe worth a try?

Write down all of your intrusive thoughts where you think you will act upon.

Read the list the next day and tick off how many you did.

I’m not an expert, but I bet the answer will be 0.

Don’t turn this into a compulsion though. Just try it to prove all the things we worry about today will not have happened by tomorrow. It’s difficult Nikki when our anxiety is at its most extreme, but one of many ways to actually show just how pointless (really) intrusive thoughts are.

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Thanks for your reply dimmerswitch. The thing that is annoying about my OCD though is that it’s all about ‘did I do something in the past?’ Rather than the future like most other people’s OCD. So with that in my mind I’m not sure how I would implement what you said.

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Hi Nikki  

I've had this before also but your dreams can very easily mirror the thoughts you have been milling over in the day. As POCD is prevalent for me too I understand how truly awful it is. I have been so caught up that I have been scared to go to sleep, I had compulsions I didnt even know I was doing, such as falling asleep with my hands over the cover rather than under it just to ensure I don't touch myself if I had a dream. 

As PB says don't mill over it, I know it is hard as I am still struggling with this but know you aren't alone :)

 

 

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Thanks Laura. I have identified lots of stuff really and all safety behaviours it seems. I’m now just trying to not do them. For example I had to sit away from my daughter in case I was near her and maybe touched off her or something like that and it was wrong and couldn’t remember. Now I let her jump all over me ?

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Guest dimmerswitch

Hi Nikki. It’s all the same ocd. Still write it down as the Police will be at your door this time tomorrow as you have done these awful things. Tomorrow, check against the list and also make a note of how many visits from the Police you’ve had?

Its ocd Nikki. No matter which way we twist it, it’s ocd. It’s us making something of nothing.

 

 

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1 hour ago, dimmerswitch said:

Hi Nikki. It’s all the same ocd. Still write it down as the Police will be at your door this time tomorrow as you have done these awful things. Tomorrow, check against the list and also make a note of how many visits from the Police you’ve had?

Its ocd Nikki. No matter which way we twist it, it’s ocd. It’s us making something of nothing.

 

 

Thanks dimmerswitch. I cancelled a therapy session on a bit of short notice today as I wasn’t feeling well and my therapist came across quite annoyed at me. I feel bad but then I think she could have been more understanding as I genuinely felt unwell and wanted to go but was too sick to drive. I’m also thinking some of the neat advice I’ve got here is worth you guys. Polarbear, Snowbear to name just a few. I’m starting to think of things she should be doing with me that have been suggested here and I’ve thought why hasn’t she for example made me lit out my compulsions or why can’t she provide me with the material for the exposure therapy. I find it incredibly difficult to try make up myself. 

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I've totally had that fear @Nikki79 !! About doing something horrible to someone, like a child, while I'm asleep. But yes, all OCD fears :) 

I'm sorry with how your therapist reacted about you cancelling your appointment today... that's super uncalled for. Especially when there's a pandemic and you're supposed to be staying home if you're feeling ill. Super rude of your therapist. That actually hits a nerve with me. You did nothing wrong by cancelling. I've had a **** therapist before, I went to her for false memory OCD and she made me feel worse. She was not helpful. $200 for 50 mins for someone to make me feel worse and use bull**** hocus pocus methods on me. I stopped going after she introduced EMDR. I was shocked and horrified. Like, I have no training and fully feel I can help someone with OCD better than she can lol. I guess that's why your case hits such a nerve with me, cause been there!! Good on you for seeking help, it's extremely disappointing when people who are supposed to be helping us are actually kind of clueless. The fact your therapist hasn't mentioned compulsions is a huge red flag to me. I'd recommend switching therapists, but that's just me. Do whatever feels right to help you get better :) 

Hope you're having a good day and telling your OCD to take a hike!! :) best wishes

Edited by hazydaze
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59 minutes ago, hazydaze said:

I've totally had that fear @Nikki79 !! About doing something horrible to someone, like a child, while I'm asleep. But yes, all OCD fears :) 

I'm sorry with how your therapist reacted about you cancelling your appointment today... that's super uncalled for. Especially when there's a pandemic and you're supposed to be staying home if you're feeling ill. Super rude of your therapist. That actually hits a nerve with me. You did nothing wrong by cancelling. I've had a **** therapist before, I went to her for false memory OCD and she made me feel worse. She was not helpful. $200 for 50 mins for someone to make me feel worse and use bull**** hocus pocus methods on me. I stopped going after she introduced EMDR. I was shocked and horrified. Like, I have no training and fully feel I can help someone with OCD better than she can lol. I guess that's why your case hits such a nerve with me, cause been there!! Good on you for seeking help, it's extremely disappointing when people who are supposed to be helping us are actually kind of clueless. The fact your therapist hasn't mentioned compulsions is a huge red flag to me. I'd recommend switching therapists, but that's just me. Do whatever feels right to help you get better :) 

Hope you're having a good day and telling your OCD to take a hike!! :) best wishes

Thanks Hazydaze I guess the Therapist was annoyed cos other people could have taken mu spot. That’s a good as what she said to me. I do think I’ve had some succeas with her and she has thought me some coping techniques. Where I am I feel it’s really hard to get good therapists and starting new ones is hard isn’t it? Starting all over. I do feel it was rude of me to cancel so late but I was also panicky and anxious aswell as under the weather. She just came across very short in the text she replied to me. And then followed it with what felt like a scolding:

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Bless you, I understand its difficult for therapists when clients cancel however I think sometimes they have to take into account we are suffering....I have had to cancel therapy appointments before because of illness or I was just not wanting to get into it because I felt I needed to avoid it (ironic huh?)

Try to be easy on yourself, your only human. Is your therapy through the NHS or private?

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17 minutes ago, Laura86 said:

Bless you, I understand its difficult for therapists when clients cancel however I think sometimes they have to take into account we are suffering....I have had to cancel therapy appointments before because of illness or I was just not wanting to get into it because I felt I needed to avoid it (ironic huh?)

Try to be easy on yourself, your only human. Is your therapy through the NHS or private?

Yes I had thought she was being a little mean aswell as the text I wrote to her was two hours in advance and I was anxious. I thought with therapists they would be more understanding.

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1 hour ago, Nikki79 said:

Thanks Hazydaze I guess the Therapist was annoyed cos other people could have taken mu spot. That’s a good as what she said to me. I do think I’ve had some succeas with her and she has thought me some coping techniques. Where I am I feel it’s really hard to get good therapists and starting new ones is hard isn’t it? Starting all over. I do feel it was rude of me to cancel so late but I was also panicky and anxious aswell as under the weather. She just came across very short in the text she replied to me. And then followed it with what felt like a scolding:

I'm glad that she has at least helped you somewhat. It is totally hard to start over, absolutely. What's it like in the UK, is therapy really expensive like it is in Canada?? I also find it's pretty easy to find therapists here, but not necessarily good ones. Though I know of a few :) 
I understand that she could have filled the spot but she had no right to make you feel badly over that. She chose a profession where she is dealing with clients with intense anxiety, she shouldn't be hard on them when they can't make an appointment, like how is that productive. Especially with what they get paid... like cry me a river, losing one appointment lol. Sorry haha it really makes me mad that she basically scolded you. Super unprofessional.
Hope whatever illness you are feeling goes away asap by the way!

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Thanks Hazydaze and yes us OCDers tend to have a huge chunk of guilt and blame ourselves so easy anyway. I don’t think I’ll go back to her. 

I live in Ireland but up until last year I lived in Canada for 4 years. It was amazing. I saw a therapist in Toronto and she was the best I’ve had yet tbh. 

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Guest dimmerswitch
12 hours ago, Nikki79 said:

Thanks dimmerswitch. I cancelled a therapy session on a bit of short notice today as I wasn’t feeling well and my therapist came across quite annoyed at me. I feel bad but then I think she could have been more understanding as I genuinely felt unwell and wanted to go but was too sick to drive. I’m also thinking some of the neat advice I’ve got here is worth you guys. Polarbear, Snowbear to name just a few. I’m starting to think of things she should be doing with me that have been suggested here and I’ve thought why hasn’t she for example made me lit out my compulsions or why can’t she provide me with the material for the exposure therapy. I find it incredibly difficult to try make up myself. 

I hope you feel better soon.

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