Back a step?

[rebecca23x]

Hello everyone. 

So it’s all gloom for me at the minute. Was doing so well with ocd side of things but the anxiety has just become too much for me and it’s caused me to have such a low mood that I’m starting to think “ I can’t be bothered with living this life anymore” like I’m just so fed up, I feel anxious most days and the days I don’t feel anxious I’m worrying about if I will tomorrow or the next day etc... the minute I open my eyes I’m like “ am I anxious? Will today be a bad day?” It’s all too much! 

I phoned my doctor today and she’s put me back on mirtazapine but 30mg instead of 15mg. Not sure if anyone has had success with these for anxiety. Not the ocd side of things. As i feel if the anxiety subsides I’ll be able to control the ocd a lot better. 

I can’t take flueoxetine etc, as I had really bad side effects of them and had manic episodes so the sedative effect like mirtazapine works best for me. But like I say the last time was 15mg. These are 30mg. I know all medications are different for everyone but has anyone actually had success with antidepressants for there anxiety and depression? 

[hazydaze]

Hello! 

I'm sorry you are experiencing a difficult time... I know exactly what  you mean. I recently was also dealing with those types of thoughts, the ones that tell you how tired you are of this, and why bother anymore..

I'll tell you why bother though. You are worth it. You are not your thoughts. You are not your disorder. While our OCD can be completely debilitating and steal our quality of life, we are stronger than our OCD. It manifests within us, and we can stop it. It isn't easy by any means of course, but it is absolutely doable. 

I had to google mirtazapine and found out that it is a Benzo, which I could see having a positive effect on lessening your anxiety so that you are better equipped to deal with OCD. I'm also a bit weary of Benzo's because of their addictive nature, but as you said, other medication hasn't had a favourable effect on you. I just want to mention to please be careful and aware. 

I'm on 40mg of Paxil right now, and it has helped so much. If you can get away without taking medication then that's awesome, but there is absolutely no shame in taking medication. Some of us are a bit more severe, and we need that extra helping hand. I found I've had a lot of success with my medication. I found that when I went up to 50mg that I was experiencing some side effects, and I went back down to 40, but mostly because I found that the 10mg difference from 40 to 50mg didn't change enough in terms of my anxiety but was delivering negative side effects, so I went back down to 40mg. That being said, usually side effects from these types of drugs will lesser or totally be eliminated after several weeks. Which also happened to me when I moved up originally to 40mg -- I had side effects that totally disappeared within about 3 weeks or less. Stick with your meds, for now anyway, and see how they effect you.

Best wishes!

Edited September 4, 2020 by hazydaze

[DC82]

6 hours ago, hazydaze said:

I'll tell you why bother though. You are worth it. You are not your thoughts. You are not your disorder. While our OCD can be completely debilitating and steal our quality of life, we are stronger than our OCD. It manifests within us, and we can stop it. It isn't easy by any means of course, but it is absolutely doable.

I think this is a nice reply from @hazydaze  

@rebecca23x It sounds like you’re feeling anxious about being anxious. Try not to become worried about waking up anxious - it will make you more anxious in the present. Whenever you have any annoying feelings, try to think very, very positively (don’t allow yourself to entertain any negative ideas in your mind) and be strong and determined not to be beaten. Easier said than done, I know - but you don’t have to put pressure on yourself to achieve perfection straight away. It’s not your fault if you do feel anxious and it’s not a sign of failure. It takes a bit of time - but I think it is important to focus on positives. You’re taking steps to beat it which is excellent; I think you deserve to feel good about your positive intentions. 

Everything in life (even anxiety) is temporary. Feel assured that your doctor is helping you and is on your side. 

Are you having any counseling or therapy? 

Edited September 5, 2020 by DC82

[rebecca23x]

13 hours ago, hazydaze said:

Hello! 

I'm sorry you are experiencing a difficult time... I know exactly what  you mean. I recently was also dealing with those types of thoughts, the ones that tell you how tired you are of this, and why bother anymore..

I'll tell you why bother though. You are worth it. You are not your thoughts. You are not your disorder. While our OCD can be completely debilitating and steal our quality of life, we are stronger than our OCD. It manifests within us, and we can stop it. It isn't easy by any means of course, but it is absolutely doable. 

I had to google mirtazapine and found out that it is a Benzo, which I could see having a positive effect on lessening your anxiety so that you are better equipped to deal with OCD. I'm also a bit weary of Benzo's because of their addictive nature, but as you said, other medication hasn't had a favourable effect on you. I just want to mention to please be careful and aware. 

I'm on 40mg of Paxil right now, and it has helped so much. If you can get away without taking medication then that's awesome, but there is absolutely no shame in taking medication. Some of us are a bit more severe, and we need that extra helping hand. I found I've had a lot of success with my medication. I found that when I went up to 50mg that I was experiencing some side effects, and I went back down to 40, but mostly because I found that the 10mg difference from 40 to 50mg didn't change enough in terms of my anxiety but was delivering negative side effects, so I went back down to 40mg. That being said, usually side effects from these types of drugs will lesser or totally be eliminated after several weeks. Which also happened to me when I moved up originally to 40mg -- I had side effects that totally disappeared within about 3 weeks or less. Stick with your meds, for now anyway, and see how they effect you.

Best wishes!

Hi. Thank you so much for your reply. 

I had my first night last night on mirtazapine and I must say I’m very floaty and groggy this morning but I remember the last time I took it I felt like this the first day, after that I felt brand new and had barely any side effects. That’s what I like about mirtazapine it keeps me mellow where as the last time I was on Prozac And I was a state. Maybe benzo’s are what works for me. 

I know there’s no shame in taking medication but I can’t help but feel guilty that I have to take tablets to feel abit normal. Like I have four children and I feel guilt that to be a proper mam I have to take these tablets.

[rebecca23x]

7 hours ago, DC82 said:

I think this is a nice reply from @hazydaze  

@rebecca23x It sounds like you’re feeling anxious about being anxious. Try not to become worried about waking up anxious - it will make you more anxious in the present. Whenever you have any annoying feelings, try to think very, very positively (don’t allow yourself to entertain any negative ideas in your mind) and be strong and determined not to be beaten. Easier said than done, I know - but you don’t have to put pressure on yourself to achieve perfection straight away. It’s not your fault if you do feel anxious and it’s not a sign of failure. It takes a bit of time - but I think it is important to focus on positives. You’re taking steps to beat it which is excellent; I think you deserve to feel good about your positive intentions. 

Everything in life (even anxiety) is temporary. Feel assured that your doctor is helping you and is on your side. 

Are you having any counseling or therapy? 

Yeah it was a lovely reply I’m very grateful for all your replies. 

I was trying so hard to try focus on the good but my anxiety was too much I felt like my head was going to explode I couldn’t think straight and pull myself out of it. 

I just feel really low about the situation. I’m also terrified that I’ll get so depressed I’ll commit suicide and leave my four children. I’m assuming this is the ocd talking? I’m hoping this medication works for me as it made me feel brand new last time and I was only on it 10 days.

yes I’m undergoing ERP therapy at the moment I’ll be having a review appointment on Monday with my therapist so I can inform him I’ve started the mirtazapine again 

[DC82]

21 minutes ago, rebecca23x said:

I’m also terrified that I’ll get so depressed I’ll commit suicide and leave my four children. I’m assuming this is the ocd talking? I

I don’t think you will do that. You sound very strong, organized and determined. You clearly care and are taking steps to help yourself. Do you have any family who could look after the 4 of them for several hours if you need to take a walk or have a rest? 

26 minutes ago, rebecca23x said:

the last time I was on Prozac And I was a state.

Do you mind me asking what side effects you had? I am on fluoxetine (Prozac) and have recently had to increase my dosage. I’ve not experienced any side effects that I am aware of (except decreased libido - but I don’t mind that if it means I am less anxious).  

[rebecca23x]

4 hours ago, DC82 said:

I don’t think you will do that. You sound very strong, organized and determined. You clearly care and are taking steps to help yourself. Do you have any family who could look after the 4 of them for several hours if you need to take a walk or have a rest? 

Do you mind me asking what side effects you had? I am on fluoxetine (Prozac) and have recently had to increase my dosage. I’ve not experienced any side effects that I am aware of (except decreased libido - but I don’t mind that if it means I am less anxious).  

Yeah I have the kids dad, he’s pretty supportive and understand how I feel etc.. 

erm the side effects I had of Prozac was increased anxiety, insomnia, I could eat or drink anything, everything looked so sharp and defined, I just felt like I was on some high drug, my skin felt terrible. It was just a horrific time for me. But what doesn’t work for one person works for another, every body is different. 

[DC82]

20 minutes ago, rebecca23x said:

increased anxiety, insomnia, I could eat or drink anything, everything looked so sharp and defined, I just felt like I was on some high drug, my skin felt terrible. It was just a horrific time for me.

Sounds terrible. I think I’ve been lucky with it. 

[rebecca23x]

2 minutes ago, DC82 said:

Sounds terrible. I think I’ve been lucky with it. 

Sorry I’ve just realised I put “I could eat or drink” I meant I couldn’t lol. 

I just think different medications work well with different people. 

[DC82]

18 minutes ago, rebecca23x said:

I just think different medications work well with different people. 

Yes. I wonder what percentage of people find a medication with no side effects at all. I’d guess low. 

 

18 minutes ago, rebecca23x said:

“I could eat or drink”

I do prefer medications that allow me to eat and drink 

[rebecca23x]

23 minutes ago, DC82 said:

Yes. I wonder what percentage of people find a medication with no side effects at all. I’d guess low.

I wonder too, although if I remember rightly the last time I took mirtazapine the only side effects I had was vivid dreams witch I found quite funny and a bit grogginess the first day other then that I felt just the same but with no anxiety, can’t be certain I wouldn’t of got anymore because I was only on them ten days last time

[DC82]

2 minutes ago, rebecca23x said:

vivid dreams witch I found quite funny

That’s not so bad. 

1 hour ago, rebecca23x said:

Yeah I have the kids dad, he’s pretty supportive and understand how I feel etc.. 

This is good too - It’s great to have people around who understand, especially when OCD and anxiety becomes challenging.