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Going through past events over and over again


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I re-play events a lot in my head from my university days - days where I don’t feel particularly great about myself (very immature and unaware of how I, and things I said/did, came across to people with a lot of growing up needed) and that cause me a lot of shame now.

I find it really hard to accept the past for what it is and allow that I’m allowed to make mistakes, have time to grow up, forgive myself for the past etc etc etc. 
 

Does this seem like it could be OCD related?! Not sure if it does. But its one of the things that I’ve done for years - raking through the past - I’m not sure if that I am seeking an answer or certainty about anything - it’s just a broken record that my mind won’t lay to rest and rakes up shameful feelings because I do see now what I didn’t see at the time and I do believe that I am now a better person but these memories do shame me to the core.
 

I actively think about the future and making changes to my life to ensure I don’t ever bump into anyone from that time in my life going forward. I’m not on social media and I know a bit part of that was unfriending everyone and basically trying to erase that part of my life. The re-playing thoughts still persist.

Has anyone else experienced the same?

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Guest dimmerswitch

This is OCD. They are intrusive thoughts. The past is the past and there is nothing we can do to alter it. It is entirely out of our control. So if there is nothing you or I can do, there is no point in giving these thoughts the time of day. 
 


 

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OCD consists of Obsessions, Anxiety, and Compulsions. Whether the Compulsions are visible or not, they are there with OCD regardless in some form either physical or mental.

From what I read into the above, i can see the Obsessions are you replaying the past, the Anxiety is the 'shameful feelings' and your Compulsions (to try and make yourself feel better) are you trying to reassure yourself that you're now a better person, and also the avoidance of Social Media.

Compulsions and reassurance will NEVER work, they Simply keep the OCD loop spinning and the memory/fear fresh on the surface of your mind. 

With OCD you need to stop ALL COMPULSIONS, it's difficult, but can be done, and once done, the signs and benefits of recovery can be very noticeable and quick. 

However equally, it can be very quick and easy to drop back into the OCD loop again just with ONE compulsion......

Best to get a formal diagnosis from a professional, however certainly sounds like it 'may' be OCD to me.... 

 

Edited by MentalChecker
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