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Feeling sad all the time


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Is it normal to have a general feeling of sadness / depression all the time, even when you are trying not to engage with the thoughts. I am working really hard on not doing my compulsions. But I just feel so sad all the time. Like a cloud over me constantly. I feel like something is wrong at all times. I am trying to just go on and live life the way I normally would, but it’s hard. Will I ever stop feeling so sad?  I feel like a stranger in my own body. 

Edited by Emmaloowho
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@AmandaG I am currently on sertraline and I have been for many years. I am pretty sure that this depression is a by-product if the intrusive thoughts I have. I am so down on myself. I know I need to try to be more forgiving of myself, but it’s so hard. I am not in therapy, frankly because I don’t have the extra money right now. I have been reading several self help books. Do you have any suggestions for how I can tackle the depression, or do you think it will get better if I can get a grip on the ocd?

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I'm not an expert on depression, really, I've only experienced it very temporarily. Anxiety is the much bigger thing for me. If you've read about CBT, then using CBT methods to identify and challenge the negative feelings or thinking driving the low mood could help - eg feelings like 'I'm never going to be able to cope with these intrusive thoughts', when you can't really predict the future and say that, and it's possible to learn to manage intrusive thoughts.

Edited by AmandaG
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On 06/09/2020 at 09:11, Emmaloowho said:

Is it normal to have a general feeling of sadness / depression all the time, even when you are trying not to engage with the thoughts. I am working really hard on not doing my compulsions. But I just feel so sad all the time. Like a cloud over me constantly. I feel like something is wrong at all times. I am trying to just go on and live life the way I normally would, but it’s hard. Will I ever stop feeling so sad?  I feel like a stranger in my own body. 

Hey :) I very recently replied to another thread of yours, but found this one and just want to say:

I think that it is normal up until a certain point. You don't want to belittle what could be depression and call it a side-effect of OCD when it could be a disorder all on its own. However, you have been used to performing compulsions and curbing your anxiety. Now you have been stopping compulsions. (Yay good for you! :) ) In my opinion, your brain is in a state of "what the ***k." You are still raw enough to believe your obsessions could be real, but have ceased compulsions, and that is a very messy process and can absolutely make one feel very sad and not themselves. You are denying yourself of "solving" this situation, and instead are trying to let it be, which can feel like you are doing something "wrong."  Fortunately, you know that there is no "solving" it. OCD will keep coming back with more and more outrageous allegations to any of them which you "solve" and gain relief from. By treating this as OCD,  you are doing nothing wrong. In fact, you are doing everything right. It does take time, but hang in there. You should start to feel better, as I also suspect that your depression is fueled by OCD. But I am by no means a professional, and please keep an eye on it in case you need to seek help for depression.

Very best wishes.?

Edited by hazydaze
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Guest dimmerswitch

I find Sertraline very helpful with my depression and also as it aleviates some of the anxiety, which to me fuels my taking notice of the intrusive thoughts. Notice I didn’t say, fuels the OCD. I strongly believe we make ocd. Intrusive thoughts happen to everyone, but if we engage or try to reason and what if etc.....  ocd.

The first thing to do is let the thoughts be there. They will never go away. It’s how we don’t engage with them is what matters. I’ve said this in many posts before, but I smile, or laugh at the thought, no matter how upsetting or disturbing. This acts like a pin in a balloon. Give it a try. Ultimately, you need to accept the thoughts as what they are, just thoughts floating around. 
 

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14 hours ago, dimmerswitch said:

I strongly believe we make ocd. Intrusive thoughts happen to everyone, but if we engage or try to reason and what if etc.....  ocd.

You are correct. Intrusive thoughts are beyond common - they happen to everyone! But when we attach meaning to those thoughts which causes anxiety and leads to compulsions, then it is OCD.

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17 hours ago, dimmerswitch said:

I strongly believe we make ocd. Intrusive thoughts happen to everyone, but if we engage or try to reason and what if etc.....  ocd.

While we can certainly influence OCD, its been shown that OCD is not simply a behavioral result but has an underlying biological component.  While the details are not precisely known, its more than simply trying to engage or reason with thoughts.  Non-sufferers engage and reason with intrusive thoughts all the time, the difference is their brains don't get stuck, ours do.  And even OCD sufferers engage and reason with intrusive thoughts, we certainly don't get stuck on ALL of them.  The specific reason why a given thought gets stuck again remains a bit of a mystery, but no, I don't think the evidence supports the idea that we "make" OCD.  It is fortunate that we have the capability to adapt to and work around OCD, to retrain our brains as it were to adjust to it, but the source of the problem is not us.

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@Emmaloowho  When you are in the midst of an OCD storm its not at all unusual to feel down some of the time, but what you are describing sounds, to me, like it goes beyond normal frustrations with struggle and could be depression alongside the OCD.  However, the only person who can REALLY make such a determination should be a qualified mental health professional.  Obviously if money is tight that can be a challenge, but there may be options for you to find someone to talk to cheaper or even free to at least get started.

Its also good to remember that with the current pandemic situation we are almost all under additional stress, so its not surprising that you may be going through difficult times.  This doesn't make the pain go away, but it can help to keep in mind so you can be easier on yourself!

Also, while clinical depression won't simply go away by doing "fun things", it may help to consider other factors which are contributing to your troubles with mental health.  For example, getting enough exercise.  A lot of us are spending more time cooped up at home these days, so we are less active than we might usually be.  Even something as simple as going for a daily walk might help.  Also, setting aside some time for activities you can enjoy and giving yourself permission to not worry about things (like work, etc.) at least part of the time.  It can also help to let go of certain expectations you might normal have, like getting so many tasks a day done, etc. during this difficult period.  Unfortunately life is far from normal right now, and dealing with that can mean adjusting what we are/aren't ok with.  Maybe you were someone who always made your bed each morning.  Maybe thats not so important right now, and if slacking off on that task can help you relax a little it might be ok.

Finally, maybe you are being too aggressive in your recovery efforts.  While its ideal to avoid all compulsions etc. it can be hard to go cold turkey.  Like stopping a bad habit you might find more success, and less stress, by taking a more slow and gradual approach.  Rather than try and cut a compulsion completely, maybe you can focus on reducing it by 50% for example.  Having a plan with milestones can help you feel like you are accomplishing progress without forcing yourself to take on more than you can handle at the moment.  Remember, recovery from OCD is a marathon, not a sprint.  Give yourself a break too :)

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 06/09/2020 at 17:11, Emmaloowho said:

Is it normal to have a general feeling of sadness / depression all the time, even when you are trying not to engage with the thoughts. I am working really hard on not doing my compulsions. But I just feel so sad all the time. Like a cloud over me constantly. I feel like something is wrong at all times. I am trying to just go on and live life the way I normally would, but it’s hard. Will I ever stop feeling so sad?  I feel like a stranger in my own body. 

Yep, if you're anything like I was, then you will definitely feel sad without doing the Compulsions, at least initially, but it does get better eventually. 

The Compulsions I was doing were giving me such a huge hit of reassurance, it was giving me such a High each time I did a compulsion, it was like being hit in the Heart with the BEST 'love' feeling ever!! 

If your not doing Compulsions anymore, then you're not getting that High anymore either, which yes will leave you feeling somewhat low, but this is how people without OCD feel and is 'normal', we are just not used to feeling that 'normal'. 

Stick at it, it definitely will get easier and better, and you will see that you don't need Compulsions anymore to make you feel happy in life ?

Edited by MentalChecker
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