P ocd

[Ironborn]

Hello, everyone.

I've been battling OCD for quite a while now. RecentlyI 've started to get p OCD again.

Especially when surfing the internet, like Facebook, or Instagram.

Whenever I'm scrolling somehow I seem to stop scrolling when there's posts with pictures of children

I don't think I'm doing it consciously. But somehow my OCD tells me that in my subconscious mind, there must be a reason why I'm always stopping the scrolling when there's children in those pictures.

So right now, when I'm scrolling through Facebook or Instagram, and I see a child, I scroll even harder just to prove to myself that I'm not a pedophile.

Today while scrolling, I again ended up stopping at pictures from children. And I initially got a groinal response

I know I should not give this any

attention because I know that I'm not attracted to children. I never have fantasies about it or anything

But somehow My mind is telling me that because alot of the times I somehow (accidently) take a longer look at these pictures that it must mean something. 

And I did not took a longer look because of my ocd. I took a longer look because I was honestly interested in the post or picture. Why is that? 

I do also seem to look longer at other posts or pictures not related to children. But I feel that it's more frequent with the ones that do show children. Why is that? What does it say about me? 

I don't believe I have sexual desires towards them, but my mind is confusing me why else I would look at them? 

[Ironborn]

Anyone? 

[PolarBear]

You look at them because you have OCD. You look at them because you reacted to random thoughts with compulsions. You look at them because you are likely checking, a compulsion, to see what your reaction is.

It's all OCD. 

[Ironborn]

13 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

You look at them because you have OCD. You look at them because you reacted to random thoughts with compulsions. You look at them because you are likely checking, a compulsion, to see what your reaction is.

It's all OCD. 

I het what your saying and that ocd probably makes me look at those pics. That is not really the case because the ocd kicks in couple of seconds after looking at the picture or fb story shared. 

But somehow it seems as if I 'accidentally' seem to end up looking more at pictures where children are in then other pictures. (or it might seems as if that's the case because my ocd is hyperaware of this now?) 

I'm not really sure what to think of it. I don't have any active fantasies or thoughts about sexual intercourse with minors, I just hate that I somehow seem to give more attention to these pics, and once ocd kicks in I quickly swipe the screen away. 

[PolarBear]

What you do is not think about it. Your mind has created this pseudo connection between pictures of children and pedophilia. Whether you look at those pictures for linger is irrelevant. The connection is faulty. Your job is to not buy into it.

[ocdsufferer85]

Checking...an ocd compulsion...but checking is no good because it makes us question ourselves more! It's best not to check but sometimes it happens.

My check was not planned