Struggling and unhappy

[Cub]

Hi everyone

How are we all? 

I've had a bit of a saga today; I went into work as was due but we have to fill out a covid questionnaire. I was feeling very tired and have had funny tummy; more an anxiety thing than anything but I decided to flag it up to the TLs to be on the safe side. Long story short, I've been sent home until further notice.

I'm struggling so hard at the moment and I don't enjoy anything anymore. All I do is lie in bed on my days off and scroll on my phone. I can't seem to be happy. I keep thinking that maybe I'm doing stuff wrong but don't have the courage to change or cut things out of my life that may not be good for me, and may be adding to my uncertainty or unhappiness due to my anxiety, but which I can't seem to let go. I'm fully aware there are more important things out there; maybe I'm thinking in black and white terms. I'm just so tired all the time and feel unhappy generally - the main issue, though? I can't seem to stop worrying. All I seem to do is worry and fret. I had an anxiety attack the other night and it doesn't take much to set me off and after being sent home today I wondered if it might be time to end my life; I seriously considered just jumping off the motorway bridge. I don't think I have the courage to change and that makes me worse. I feel really scared and lonely and don't know who to turn to. I feel useless and like a failure.

C x

[snowbear]

Hey Cub,

I noticed you had no replies so I'm just reaching out to see how you're feeling now.

You sound rather depressed at the moment, perhaps a bit introspective? It's very easy to fall into that 'closed to the world and hopeless' state of mind when you're not fully occupied. What hobbies or activities do you usually enjoy? Even when you don't feel like doing much it's worth the effort of pushing yourself to do an activity you enjoy as once you get past the initial hurdle of getting motivated to start it will lift your spirits.

Another thing to try is to switch off from your worries by getting involved in something outside your normal world. For example, take a free online course and learn something new, or join a charity campaign that's setting out to change the world. Anything which changes your focus from internal 'me' to external/other people.

As for jumping off a motorway bridge, if you have the courage to comtemplate that ghastly end as a reality then you have more than enough courage to make the necessary changes to your daily life to lift yourself out of this 'depressive' phase and to tackle your OCD to boot.

 

[malina]

Hey Cub,

I haven't been on the forum in a while but saw this post from a while ago. I just wanted to check in and make sure you're ok? I hope you're taking care of yourself and keeping dry in this rainy weather

[BigDave]

Hey Cub. I haven’t been on here for a while but I saw your post and I felt for you. I genuinely feel similar sometimes, it’s hard to get enthused about things and just going through the motions. But trust me, you aren’t alone. We are here for you.  Stay strong x