Scared

[Headwreck]

Hi. Hope everyone is okay, safe and well. 

I know I haven't logged in for a while but feel the need to talk. 

I stopped Sertraline a week ago because I am finding that it is causing me hair loss. Have been on it for over one year. 

I don't know if it's in my head or not but I feel I am starting to think about the night out I have been worried about. The night out was in 2015 and I don't know if I kissed someone or not behind my partners back but I was definitely flirting and wanted to, I know this for sure as I was obsessed at the time with the idea that my partner had cheated on me and I thought it would make me feel better. I never used to think I had did it, or I don't think I did. But I can't be sure. I just remember being adamant that nothing did happen when I told a family member about it a while after. 

As you all probably remember, from around 2017 I started obsessing about that night and was in a very dark place probably until 2019. I asked people from the night who couldn't confirm or deny, one alluded to the fact that I said the guy tried to kiss me but then saying they couldn't remember as it was a long time ago. I don't remember saying that, in fact I think I said he hadnt tried. I'm terrified that I am going to go back to feeling that low to the point where I was suicidal. I am having thoughts about speaking to my partner about it. 

Since the tablets, my mind has not fixated on anything like that. I still have checking that I do ie checking doors etc but that's all, I presume I'll have that forever. Also work has kept me busy and focused on other things. I haven't really thought about this all year until now. I've had fleeting thoughts but then just carried on with what I was doing. But maybe this is wrong, and definitely immoral. 

I have only been off the medication for a week, surely it's too soon to relapse now? I also cried today which is the first time I have done so in a year, the tablets make it so that I don't really get upset. Should I just start taking it again? I'm concerned about the hair loss, has anyone else had that problem? 

Thanks for listening. 

 

Edited October 4, 2020 by Headwreck

[malina]

Hey @Headwreck

It's good to hear from you, it sounds like things have gotten better since the last time you posted and I'm glad for you!!

I really don't know much about how medication works, but you could just be having some kind of reverse placebo effect. You've stopped taking medication, you're scared of a relapse, so you start thinking about your fears again.

I think you should really be monitoring all of this with your doctor. If you're experiencing bad side effects from this medication but want to continue, there are other medications you can take. I remember you saying that CBT hasn't helped but it's also an avenue to explore.

[PolarBear]

Never, ever, ever stop taking psychiatric meds without first talking to your doctor. Never stop taking them and never adjust dosage without a doctor's approval. 

[Lynz]

18 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Never, ever, ever stop taking psychiatric meds without first talking to your doctor. Never stop taking them and never adjust dosage without a doctor's approval. 

I agree 100% with PB.

I think you should start taking them again straightaway, but also contact your GP about the hair loss issue. They may be able to prescribe a different medication which doesn't cause this problem.

[malina]

@Headwreck - I'm sorry, I didn't realise that you stopped taking the medication without your doctor's guidance. If that is indeed the case, I think you should make an appointment to see your doctor and discuss the side effects you've been experiencing so that they can advise you. But as PB and Lynz said, you should never just stop taking meds by yourself.

[dksea]

100% agree with the above that you should not be stopping/changing doses without Doctors guidance.  If there is a side effect you are experiencing that concerns you talk to the doctor, its what they are there for.  Your hair loss may be completely unrelated (could be stress for example) or if it is you can move to a different medication.  The reason for concern is there are also possible side effects and troubles for stopping your medication and you can avoid a lot of problems and ensure you are as safe as possible by following the doctors guidance.  You and your doctor are a team, don't forget that!  They want you to be better too!