Guilt and I'm scared to choose

[Ironborn]

Hi. To be quite straightforward. Me and my wife have opposite opinions about covid 19

I feel as if we just have to comply with the rules just so we can get back to normal asap. 

My wife is all against the measures, and thinks I'm crazy and brainwashed for believing what the government wants us to do. 

 

Now I don't trust the government a 100% and I do my own research. But the measures that are set in place I will comply to. 

My wife does not and this is where we clash almost every single day these last weeks. We have a son who is almost 2 and I am married aswell. On top of that my wife is now about 8 weeks pregnant. 

Everytime I try and talk about the subject she gets emotional en angry with me. All I want is for us to be on the same page with how we deal with covid inside and around our house. I told her I want us to atleast uphold the measures in our house and respect each other. Whatever we do when we are out the house on our own I don't mind. If she won't wear a face mask, it's her decision etc etc. But in the house I just demand we comply. 

She also told me that the stress is bad for the baby inside her, and that I am the cause of this stress inside the house. (yes I do ask her about how she will comply with the rules inside and outside the house, but that is because I know she won't comply sith them. And I want to make sure she does). 

 

But now I feel extreme guilt I feel she might have problems during pregnancy and that it's my fault. 

She is not open for a conversation. She tells me she does not want to talk about the situation right now in the world as it only gives her stress, and this causes us to be on completely diffrent pages. 

Any advice here? And especially how to gaurd myself from letting ocd get a hold on this? 

[Cub]

Hi Iron

Many congratulations on the pregnancy! I understand this must be a stressful time for you. If the baby is only a few weeks along does that mean you haven't formally announced it yet and so might currently be dealing with it on your own without outside support? That's bound to make things more stressful. 

Let's be honest; this has been a very stressful time for everyone especially obsessive-compulsives and yes, we're being hit with a lot of contrary information. I find there is no shame in taking a step back - it sounds like you're trying your best and just want to protect your wife, child and expecting. Just do what you can - wear your mask and wash your hands constantly. If it's any consolation, at my workplace we've had people without masks, pregnant ladies, young babies etc. You say that you're researching - would that be a compulsion? I have trouble with Googling too. Just be kind to yourselves and each other and let go of what you can't control.

C x

[OxCD]

Unusually, I would say that this isn’t too OCD. It’s sensible to follow most guidelines and conspiracy theorists are generally deluded. I had Covid six months ago - it was horrific. Only just recovering. Don’t over do it - be sensible - but I think your wife is taking unnecessary risk.