OCD is effecting my sex life..

[Chels]

I have had OCD for as long as I can remember, have been to CBT multiple times and relapsed a few times. It is always more severe when I am in a relationship.. I feel the need to confess more and my head does a lot of uncalled for comparing/analysing..I feel at the moment this is probably the best I have been with my OCD whilst being 1 year into a new relationship. Iv held it together apart from a handful of mishaps I have managed to keep things to myself and deal with it. But I just can’t help but feel like I never get horny anymore, it’s a constant battle I scare myself terribly about the thoughts I will get during sex as that’s when they seem to come. It’s draining me, I love the sex when it happens but it’s like I never Persue it as I’m worried/scared. It’s terrible this illness, by partner doesn’t understand and doesn’t really want to learn about it too much. I respect that, he’s not nasty about it and has accepted I have OCD and intrusive thoughts but I don’t know which way to go around this

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi there Chels

You sound like although you're struggling that you've still been doing well with ignoring your OCD so well done for that

I understand how hard it can be to be interested in sex when you worry what OCD will throw your way during it and it's natural when you're apprehensive or anxious you won't feel in the mood. You mention that you've had CBT previously, did you learn how to deal with thoughts like this during this time? Are there compulsions you do day to day that you could start tackling outside of intimate moments?

I think if you start to get on top of some of your OCD worries, you'll feel more confident that you can handle what OCD throws at you and in turn this will make it more likely that you'll feel in the mood to enjoy time with your partner when it happens.

Do you think there are some small steps you could try?

Gemma

[Chels]

Hi @Gemma@OCDUK thank you so much for your reply. I do feel a lot stronger than previous relapses and mentally prepared but that being said, I have forgot a lot of the stuff from CBT, I feel I could tackle this on my own but feel I might need a little bit advice on how to, if that makes sense? By the time I get a referral and get a therapist could be months and months away yet, especially in the current climate! 
is there anything you would suggest for me to try in the meantime? 

[Dualdiagnosissoldier]

Omg OCD has really had an impact on this area of my life!

I'd suggest Katie d'Ath on YouTube for a series of short and informative videos. My CBT therapist recommended them.

Like I said, I have been affected in this area too and its very upsetting. But, we can get through it and it will get better with effort and right guidance.

All the best!

[Gemma@OCDUK]

13 hours ago, Chels said:

Hi @Gemma@OCDUK thank you so much for your reply. I do feel a lot stronger than previous relapses and mentally prepared but that being said, I have forgot a lot of the stuff from CBT, I feel I could tackle this on my own but feel I might need a little bit advice on how to, if that makes sense? By the time I get a referral and get a therapist could be months and months away yet, especially in the current climate! 
is there anything you would suggest for me to try in the meantime? 

Hi Chels

Have you got any notes from previous CBT rounds that you could refer to or a self-help book like Break Free from OCD? Either of these would be a good place to start with how to begin tackling your OCD worries. If further support is what you need then we are hosting online Zoom support groups at the moment that are a great place to share your experiences and get support from people going through OCD too  You can register for those here https://www.ocduk.org/support-groups/zoom/ 

Gemma