I don’t think I want to be here anymore

[felix4]

45 minutes ago, Cas24 said:

Please can someone tell me if this sounds like OCD I feel like the worst person in the world

I know we shouldn't reassure, but yes, it absolutely does sound like OCD!

The best thing you can do is ask for CBT & buy some self help books, and learn how OCD works!  

[PolarBear]

Cas, we need to be careful not to offer you reassurance. That is not a way toward recovery. 

You need to go to work on reducing your rumination. Get your mind onto other things. Give yourself permission to not have to go over in uour head every thought you have. It's okay to leave them alone.

[Cas24]

I feel like I should be able to answer the question without a doubt.

 

why am I doubting myself 

[Cas24]

I think I’m going to go to hospital I can’t sleep I haven’t eaten since Sunday 

[Cas24]

I have spoke to my GP and crisis team about my thoughts and they have both said it’s OCD.. why do I still not believe it!!

[hazel]

That's why it's called the doubters disease! I'm so glad you reached out. Think that's the hardest thing to do. I have been following your thread, but didn't feel knowledgeable enough to help you. I was there when you were unable to sleep. I was awake too, plagued by thoughts ( different to yours). Are you on medication Cas? Referral for CBT?

H

[Cas24]

Hi Hazel,

I am so sorry you’re also struggling, I was on 50 sertraline but my GP has upped it to 100 and gave me some diazepam. I am doing CBT but I’m so scared to be honest with him I don’t want him to think I’m an awful person 

[john1978]

Hi Cas24 .

im going through a bit of a spike myself in recent weeks but saw your post and my heart goes out to you. If you had to think of something you love doing what would it be ? 
it can literally be anything... now if you have thought of the thing u love to do try and do that while having the thoughts or feelings or whatever is going on for you in the background and see how you feel . There are far better and more knowledgeable people here than me but wanted to share what I found helpfull. I am trying to do this exercise at the moment myself  
Check out an app called total brain too it has exercises and mindfulness you can try for free it may help . 

 

Reassurance is the last thing you need and hopefully that will sink into my head too ..

 

 

[hazel]

How good are we at giving advice and hints to others, but can't seem to take it ourselves?!

I've just started 50mgs Sertraline. Well about 5 weeks ago. Felt worse the last couple of weeks. Like my mind wasn't my own! Insomnia, tummy upset, decreased appetite. Feeling of going crazy. My GP wanted to increase after less than 3 weeks! I declined. Going to ride it out. Give it 8 weeks, then re-visit. Last couple of days have been better. I'm hoping I'm turning a corner.

Thinking of you both.

H

[Cas24]

9 hours ago, john1978 said:

Hi Cas24 .

im going through a bit of a spike myself in recent weeks but saw your post and my heart goes out to you. If you had to think of something you love doing what would it be ? 
it can literally be anything... now if you have thought of the thing u love to do try and do that while having the thoughts or feelings or whatever is going on for you in the background and see how you feel . There are far better and more knowledgeable people here than me but wanted to share what I found helpfull. I am trying to do this exercise at the moment myself  
Check out an app called total brain too it has exercises and mindfulness you can try for free it may help . 

 

Reassurance is the last thing you need and hopefully that will sink into my head too ..

 

 

Bless you, I am so sorry you have to go through this and I hope it gets easier for you!
 

I was able to do somethings today which is better than being curled up in a ball crying like I have been ha.

thank you so much for the advice and I will take it on board.

 

[Cas24]

9 hours ago, hazel said:

How good are we at giving advice and hints to others, but can't seem to take it ourselves?!

I've just started 50mgs Sertraline. Well about 5 weeks ago. Felt worse the last couple of weeks. Like my mind wasn't my own! Insomnia, tummy upset, decreased appetite. Feeling of going crazy. My GP wanted to increase after less than 3 weeks! I declined. Going to ride it out. Give it 8 weeks, then re-visit. Last couple of days have been better. I'm hoping I'm turning a corner.

Thinking of you both.

H

I know how you feel the sertraline made me feel horrible at first! I’m actually feeling it a bit tonight since they up my days. I’m sending positive vibes to you and hope it get easier.

[Cas24]

I just can’t get the feeling of doubt out of my head. I keep comparing answers for example

is that door brown? Yes. And I feel certain that is the answer I believe but then I ask myself do I believe Being a murderer and worse is wrong? And I say YES. It feels different i doubt that I’m being truthful?? I’m so confused I just want to feel certain on my answer  

[Cora]

18 minutes ago, Cas24 said:

I just can’t get the feeling of doubt out of my head. I keep comparing answers for example

is that door brown? Yes. And I feel certain that is the answer I believe but then I ask myself do I believe Being a murderer and worse is wrong? And I say YES. It feels different i doubt that I’m being truthful?? I’m so confused I just want to feel certain on my answer  

Hey Cas, 

As you said, these are just feelings, and when you have OCD they seem important. But actually they are not. They are part of OCD and nothing more.

I know it's easier said than done, but maybe you could try and do something that would take your mind off this, at least just for a while. I know you might not feel like doing it, but I think it's a much better idea than worrying and ruminating so much.

Like you told me, I want you to know that you're not alone. And things will get better. You just have to trust that you're a good person and things will get easier at some point, especially if you start treating all this as OCD. As Polarbear told me once, you don't have to believe or accept that it is OCD, but you can try and treat it as if it is, because, at the end of the day, you have nothing to lose if you do so. 

Stay strong! And I'm sending you hugs and warm wishes! 

[Cas24]

Bless you Cora, thank you.

it feels so dangerous if I don’t answer the question, I feel like I need to be certain it’s a yes before I can move on, does that make sense?

I wish we could both take our own advice haha!

you articulate your posts very well I feel like I just blurt mine out in a mess! 

[Cas24]

On 27/10/2020 at 22:25, PolarBear said:

Cas, we need to be careful not to offer you reassurance. That is not a way toward recovery. 

You need to go to work on reducing your rumination. Get your mind onto other things. Give yourself permission to not have to go over in uour head every thought you have. It's okay to leave them alone.

Hi polar bear,

do you have any tips on not ruminating or thinking the thoughts mean something about you?

[PolarBear]

Well, yes I do. Go to YouTube and search for a video called How to Stop Ruminating by Dave Preston. That's me. 

As for the second part, you need to realize that OCD is the great liar. In the history of the world, OCD has never told the truth once, to any sufferer. It's like Trump. Lies, lies, darn lies. Yet, there are people who will not challenge him and take his every word as gospel.

That's what sufferers do. Despite all evidence to the contrary, they take what OCD dishes out seriously. Your job is to stand up to the thoughts and not give them the time of day. Don't react. Go on with your life. Do that for long enough and OCD begins to become quieter.