Sertraline. Experiences please. Struggling.

[hazel]

Hi all, 

Just starting on my 6th week of Sertraline 50mgs. Should I still be feeling like I don't want to wake in the morning? That is when I get to sleep at all. Had a couple of 8 & 9+/10 days, Tuesday and Wednesday and thought I was turning the corner. Then yesterday and all night back to square one. Is this the drug or am I not trying hard enough to not engage with the thoughts? I feel as though I am going crazy. How can a person have such a difference in mood? 

GP should have phoned Tuesday but didn't. She just wanted to increase the dose after less than 3 weeks which I didn't feel was giving it sufficient time. I'm trying to get to 8 weeks and hoping I'll start to feel some of this depression/rumination lift.

Feel so hopeless atm.

H.

[Ocd10]

Hi Hazel,

My personal take on medication is that they help you to apply the principles of CBT and ERP, rather than being a ‘cure’ in themselves.

Quite often the dose needs to be higher for those with OCD than in those with depression (up to 200mg of Sertraline), but, of course, different people react in different ways and need different doses for it to be effective.

It can take a while for meds to kick in, so you are right not to expect results immediately. 

Perhaps you don’t want to wake in the morning because you are not getting much sleep? 
 

Are you taking the Sertraline in the morning or evening? It may be worth taking it in the morning in case it is affecting your sleep.

It may be of course too that you don’t want to get up in the mornings because you are feeling low or anxious? Try to get yourself in to a routine and get up every morning, no matter how difficult that feels to do, as it’ll make you feel a bit better  

I think it’s awful that your GP didn’t phone... make sure you keep in contact with them though. 
 

Just one other thing that I picked up on in your post... “Am I not trying hard enough to not engage with the thoughts”... trying to push thoughts away etc. is not likely to help in the long run and is actually going to make your ocd worse. Have you heard of the pink elephant exercise?

Try not to think of a pink elephant. No, really, try really really hard not to think about a pink elephant. Can you see a pink elephant in your mind? Are you really trying not to think of that pink elephant? 
 

What happened when you read the above? Did the pink elephant become a stronger thought or were you able to push it away and the pink elephant disappeared?

The same is true in OCD... the more you try not to think of a thought the stronger it will become. 
 

Are you having any CBT for your OCD? If not, make sure you ask to be referred for some, as, at the end of the day, learning how to deal with thoughts differently is key. 
 

Things are not hopeless... you just need to make sure you get the right help. 
 

Take care of yourself, Catherine 

 

[hazel]

Hi Catherine,

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I take the Sertraline in the morning. But the rumination is what keeps me awake. Going over and over the fact this is OCD, why can't I distance myself from these thoughts as I was able to do a couple of days before? What am I doing to keep myself in this loop? On a "good" day, I'm like, of course it's OCD. I feel happiness when I think of the future. Everything seems normal again, like before I got bad in January. Then a bad day descends. I try to get the thought pattern back to the ones I had on the good day. I can't. I get frustrated. I feel so muddled up as though my mind's not my own. Hence, the question about Sertraline.

I feel as though I wouldn't want to wake in the morning because I can't imagine living the rest of my life through this fog, this sadness, this fear. I want to be the person from last year. What did I do to get myself into this mess? After almost 10 months, perhaps I am too far down the rabbit hole to get back out.

This is my 4th episode in about 14 years and is very different to previous ones. It's lasting longer and the original obsession has faded to be replaced with the constant need to get better. To know what I have to do. 

I have just started CBT. Only had 2 sessions so just laying foundations atm.

With regards the pink elephant. Yeah, I've heard of this before. But I get confused. What's the difference between not engaging with the thoughts and trying not to think of them?

Sometimes I think I will stop all tablets, CBT, self help books and this forum, because I'm just so fed up of thinking.

H.

 

[Ocd10]

Hi Hazel,

Its not too far down the rabbit hole at all... I am well on my road to recovery now after having severe ocd for 15+ years, so it can be done  

We all, meaning everyone on the planet, get thoughts. The trouble in ocd is that we chose to put meaning to certain thoughts and dwell on them. 
 

We can’t stop having the thoughts (nobody can) but we can change what we chose to do with them... there is this period of time where we have the choice to try to understand or question the thoughts or just let it go. 
 

For example, imagine you are sat on a river bank watching the water travel pass you. Imagine your thoughts are captured in the water. You can either chose to let the thoughts drift past - let them come and go without engaging with them - or you can struggle to get them back to analyse them or struggle to push them along faster than the water is going. We need to learn to let the thoughts just float pass and not engage with them. 
 

An alternative is to try to get rid of the thoughts, but by doing so you must engage with them to some degree... you are not just letting them float past you, you are choosing to engage with them and push them along out if the way. Then you end up with the pink elephant scenario.

This of course is easier said than done and that’s where CBT comes in

I understand you are fed up... ocd can be extremely tiring, but the only way out is to stick with the CBT, self help books, forums, medication etc... otherwise how does your ocd get better? It can get better for you if you are willing to try the treatments  

catherine 

 

 

[EmeraldBubz]

Hi Hazel,

I’m sorry to hear you are having a really tough time. I wanted to share my experience.

I am on Sertraline for my OCD and anxiety/depression, and exactly at the 6 week mark I hit a mental brick wall. My moods dropped and my panic attacks, and intrusive thoughts got worse. I was so frustrated because I felt I was improving.

My doctor upped my medication and it’s been up and down since, but I am starting to feel more like myself everyday now.

These things annoyingly take time. I just try my best to focus on all the good in my life, take each day at a time, and confide in people I trust about what’s happening. I also write down everything in a journal to try get it out of my head.

I really hope you can find some peace with your medication. You’re not alone.

Carla.

Edited October 31, 2020 by EmeraldBubz
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[hazel]

Hi Carla

Thank you for taking the time to reply. How long have you been on them and at what dose?

I'll continue on the 50 mgs for another couple of weeks. If no improvement try and speak to my GP. She should have phoned Tuesday afternoon. Nothing. I'll be ditching her I think.

Thank you also for sharing your tips on managing this horrible disease.

Take care

 

H

[EmeraldBubz]

Hi Hazel,

It’s no problem. I really benefit from seeing other people going through similar things to me and knowing I’m not alone.

I was put on 25mg on the 31st July for some reason, and then another doctor told me that’s not a therapeutic dosage and put me up to 50mg.

It really made me second guess going on an antidepressant because it made me feel worse at first. It’s starting to level out now.

It doesn’t help when you’re not getting the best care from your doctor.

It really is debilitating condition. Have you joined any peer support groups? I’ve found they really help me too.

Carla.

Edited October 31, 2020 by EmeraldBubz

[hazel]

Hi Carla,

Tbh this is only my 4th episode in 14 years, although has lasted longer than the other episodes. I think we must remember that GP's are not specialists in any area and I think we, as sufferers, are more knowledge than them!  I had only been on Sertraline for just under 3 weeks when I had a telephone appointment with GP (she managed to keep that one!). In a 5 minute conversation, she went from saying it was too early to increase the dose (wasn't having a good day but certainly didn't request a change) to thinking I should double it and oh, have some sleeping tablets as you didn't sleep last night.It was a Friday night - she probably needed to get home I'm not bitter

I do agree it helps seeing other people's stories. There are times I feel as though I'm losing my mind and reading others struggles does make me feel less alone.

H.