Why does it feel if it’s true

[Roopoo47]

Hi everyone not been on here for a long time. I,m 44 been worrying since i was 10 exactly i do get good days don’t get me wrong but basically i worry about future events or mind reading people, almost daily. Ruminating over what people say to me could be banter or criticism etc. I can’t shake it off until it does. Then i go back to past events like now i,m worrying about. Which is disturbing me. About 5/6 years ago i cheated on my wife as did the other women we both been out with friends all day taxi back to friends house. We kissed outside waiting for them. Then bedtime went to bed obviously. She said we will just cuddle. I said can i massage you? She said if you want i did. I was doing it all. She seemed to like it. I did fondle her we sort of had sex from the side position not for long. I did try again but gave up she did seem to like it (from her breathing) sorry to be intrusive with this. She did say i was persistent i said sorry but more fondling then i stopped. Next day was awkward. I did text her to say are we ok. Basically i didn’t want her to feel guilty as i wouldn’t say anything. She said yes we’re fine just needs forgetting about. Months later or even a year thought popped in my head, because of all this me too movement Harvey weistien case i thought did i abuse her. Obviously this shocked me to the core. Thinking and ruminating over of exactly what i did i can remember every detail because of this. We still talk ad follow each other on social media we did sleep together a lot of yrs ago when we were much younger. I did put this on a different forum not for ocd and the feedback shocked me to the stomach. I no we did wrong for cheating but i no i did all the work as you call it. I no when no is no i have never forced myself or raised my hands to any women at all. If i was single as if she was i wouldn’t be thinking like i did wrong. Hopefully i get good feedback please. Thanks 

[Roopoo47]

Just realised i have posted this back in 2018 apologies. Feedback was good then thanks.