Cas24 Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 I have been to see the crisis team today as I felt like couldn’t cope, I explained some of my thoughts to them but not them all because it was too hard now I feel like I wasn’t honest enough with them because I’m a bad person. I just feel when I get a thought I should feel like I know that it’s not me, that’s it’s not apart of me but it feels like it is. I doubt everything I think they told me the thoughts are not me and the fact I am so distressed by them means that, but I still don’t believe it? I’m tired of putting my mum and dad through pain they keep picking me up off the floor after I have howled in pain at these thoughts, I just want to be okay again and certain that these thoughts are not a part of me. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 You can't be certain until you give up your destructive thinking and behavior for a good while. Right now you are searching for certainty. OCD won't let you have it. So you just go round and round in your head, never reaching a conclusion. Give up searching for an answer. Link to comment
Cas24 Posted October 30, 2020 Author Share Posted October 30, 2020 1 hour ago, PolarBear said: You can't be certain until you give up your destructive thinking and behavior for a good while. Right now you are searching for certainty. OCD won't let you have it. So you just go round and round in your head, never reaching a conclusion. Give up searching for an answer. Thank you as always Polar Bear. I think it’s as though I can’t stand the thought of me being a bad person so I search and search for an answer but the OCD just clouds all my judgement Link to comment
Cas24 Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 On 30/10/2020 at 17:37, PolarBear said: You can't be certain until you give up your destructive thinking and behavior for a good while. Right now you are searching for certainty. OCD won't let you have it. So you just go round and round in your head, never reaching a conclusion. Give up searching for an answer. Hi polar bear, I feel like I may have made some progress, as you may remember I have had the same thought/question going around my head for the past week and it has felt like torture. Tonight I finally had enough and just said ‘okay whatever’ and my aniexty has halved. I know my values are still the same, it just feels like I’m not wrestling with the thought anymore, does this make sense? I have worries that this may something about me as a person but I think/hoping it just means I have taken some power away from the thought. what do you think? Link to comment
malina Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 On 30/10/2020 at 19:33, Cas24 said: Thank you as always Polar Bear. I think it’s as though I can’t stand the thought of me being a bad person so I search and search for an answer but the OCD just clouds all my judgement In my experience, searching for an answer is the big problem. This is how OCD works - it sends you on a maze, you search for the answer but you just get more lost. What ultimately helps is just not engaging. I know that is much easier said than done, it takes consistent effort and practice but it can be done! Link to comment
Cas24 Posted November 2, 2020 Author Share Posted November 2, 2020 2 minutes ago, malina said: In my experience, searching for an answer is the big problem. This is how OCD works - it sends you on a maze, you search for the answer but you just get more lost. What ultimately helps is just not engaging. I know that is much easier said than done, it takes consistent effort and practice but it can be done! Thank you Malina! tonight I feel like I have finally turned a corner, after a week of torture I just said ‘okay whatever you say’ and I feel like my anxiety Is the lowest it’s been. as I said above I am a bit worried if this says something about me as a person but I am hoping it just means I have taken power away from the thought! thank you for your reply x Link to comment
PolarBear Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 3 hours ago, Cas24 said: Hi polar bear, I feel like I may have made some progress, as you may remember I have had the same thought/question going around my head for the past week and it has felt like torture. Tonight I finally had enough and just said ‘okay whatever’ and my aniexty has halved. I know my values are still the same, it just feels like I’m not wrestling with the thought anymore, does this make sense? I have worries that this may something about me as a person but I think/hoping it just means I have taken some power away from the thought. what do you think? You did perfect. Okay, whatever is a perfect attitude to have about obsessions. Keep doing it! Link to comment
Cas24 Posted November 5, 2020 Author Share Posted November 5, 2020 On 02/11/2020 at 21:54, PolarBear said: You did perfect. Okay, whatever is a perfect attitude to have about obsessions. Keep doing it! Thank you Polar Bear! After a month of hell I am dealing with everything a lot better. A psychologist has agreed it’s OCD and is finding me a therapist that I feel comfortable with. Just need to keep my compulsions down and hopefully end them all together and remain positive. Thank for all your help it really means a lot Link to comment
malina Posted November 5, 2020 Share Posted November 5, 2020 Really good to see that things are starting to look up for you @Cas24! Link to comment
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