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Being Brave, should I go to London?

Jumbo

By Jumbo,
in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

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Jumbo

Jumbo

Posted
Posted

Hi guys,

Out of the blue, my best friend rang me (at 3.30am!) and asked me if I would be interested in going to stay with him and his fiance over Xmas (Providing lockdown permits of course. :)) They live in a really nice part of London, in a spacious and very comfortable flat.

They are both aware of my condition and have stressed it would not be an issue for them... the thing is, I don't think they are aware how badly my condition has deteriated over the past year or so. And, understandably, I'm terrified I'm going to be a burden for them over the festive season. 

Plus, the thought of leaving my flat fills me with dread!

Oh dear, what should I do?

On one hand, I can't face another xmas alone. But on the other hand, I simply cannot bare the thought of my friends seeing me in the deteriated mental and physical state I'm in right now. 

Any advice would be great :thankyousign:

Thanks for reading and take care

Jumbo

 

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Symps07

Symps07

Posted
Posted

Hi Jumbo,

I'm not sure what your 'theme' of OCD and how you think that it will affect you should you go and stay with your friend and his fiancée, but one of the worst things I have found about OCD is how it negatively affects your life and prevents you from doing the things that you want to do or enjoy.

It doesn't sound as though you want to be alone for Christmas so would it not be better to stay with your friend?

As he and his fiancée know about your condition already, maybe it would be worth having a conversation with him before you decide anything? Let him know your worries and explain how you feel.

I can't help but think that be alone will only worsen your mental health and going would give you something to look forward to and something to work on your OCD in the meantime.

At the end of the day, the chose is yours and you have to do what is best for you but it would be a shame if you let your OCD take anymore joy out of your life than it already has.

Best regards,

Symps

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Jumbo

Jumbo

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Posted (edited)

Hey thanks @Symps07 for the reply and advice. Much appreciated :)

To be honest, I'm still undecided on the matter. I have spoken in great detail with my friend about all my concerns and he still assures me everything will be ok.

But I'm not convinced. I honestly don't think he (or his fiance) realises how bad my condition has become since we last spent time together (a little over 2 years ago.)

My theme of OCD is contamination (mainly infectious blood diseases) and I worry about having to share bathrooms etc. The OCD makes me behave in some very bizarre ways and I would hate for my friends to have to witness such odd behaviour. Plus, I'm really scared if I leave my comfort zone (my flat) that I will go to pieces as soon as I encounter a trigger. 

I would love nothing more than to spend xmas with my friends, last year I was alone and quite distressed through the entire period. Its just, I just can't help but think my presence is going cause them a ton of problems (and a ton of anxiety for myself.)

Perhaps I should just stay at home?

Anyways, thanks for reading.

Jumbo

Edited by Jumbo
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Bodge

Bodge

Posted
Posted

@Jumbo don't let OCD take away a potentially lovely Christmas with friends. They sound like real friends and I'm sure they will understand and support you. I went away on my own for the first time last month for a few days and although I had a few worries and did a few compulsions it felt wonderful to be strong enough to do it ....and you will feel that sense of achievement too. Go and enjoy yourself xxx

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Jumbo

Jumbo

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  • Author
Posted (edited)

My trip to London has had to be cancelled due to Co-vid restrictions.

I'm really trying not to be too sad about it but, I must admit, the thought of another Christmas alone fills me with dread.

 

Edited by Jumbo
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iamwesker

iamwesker

Posted
Posted

Hi Jumbo,

 

I'm so sorry to hear about the cancelled trip :(  I know Christmas is hard alone; I spent last Christmas alone in Korea when I was living there. I know it's not much of a consolation but it is not bad to just spend the day on self-pampering and not caring about timings or doing this or that. It's nice to have a complete 'me' day. Try to stock up on some great things to eat, line up some good movies and some goodies.

 

 

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Cas24

Cas24

Posted
Posted

Hi Jumbo, 

Aw I’m gutted your trip has been cancelled. I know it’s not much but I will definitely pop on here on Christmas Day, so if you fancy a chat I will be here. I really like iamwesker idea of having a total pamper day and eating what you like and watching what you like.

 

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Jumbo

Jumbo

Posted
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Posted

Hey thanks @iamwesker & @Cas24 for the kind words and support. It's much appreciated.

The thing is, I had really hoped this Christmas was going to be an improvment over the last one.

Last Christmas my mood became so dark I had to contact local the mental health crisis team!

Hopefully I won't be doing that this year.

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