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Hello, I’m not usually on this much as since being on my medication I can control things a lot better. 

However, I Now have this fear that I’ll become depressed and not have control and end up harming myself in some way. 

I googled (witch yes is a major compulsion of mine) and something came up as Suicidal ocd, witch can be part of harm ocd witch I have always suffered with. 

What I am getting at is has someone ever heard of this, or went through this sort of thing before. 

Like for example, my children were just playing lovely with their dad and I just had a thought that “ they would be okay if I wasn’t here” that really distressed me because I was thinking why would I think like that witch then lead to “an I having suicidal thoughts” witch then lead to worry of me harming myself. In some way I know it’s probably my ocd latching onto this fear. But I just can’t same to shake it?‍♀️ Usually I use the ERP to my thoughts and compulsions but I just don’t know how to expose myself to this one. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

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Hi Rebecca! I get you girl! I have this alongside my other OCD themes (they kind of work alongside each other) and it is very scary! Are you talking to someone about your OCD? I found it so much better when i did, even if it is just a family friend or charity. The way to deal with this kind of thought, is to have it then laugh it off and move on with your day. Each time it pops into your head, repeat the same action (laugh it off or ignore it and move on). It is easier said than done, but it totally can be done! You got this!!

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On 17/11/2020 at 19:46, Haayleey96 said:

Hi Rebecca! I get you girl! I have this alongside my other OCD themes (they kind of work alongside each other) and it is very scary! Are you talking to someone about your OCD? I found it so much better when i did, even if it is just a family friend or charity. The way to deal with this kind of thought, is to have it then laugh it off and move on with your day. Each time it pops into your head, repeat the same action (laugh it off or ignore it and move on). It is easier said than done, but it totally can be done! You got this!!

Hi thank you for your reply. It’s so reassuring that I’m not the only one who thinks this. 

I think that because I’m so terrified off it shows that it’s my ocd but it’s so hard to tell yourself that when your constantly doubting it isn’t it? And yeah I have my partner and my best friend is ocd too so she understands a lot. I’ve had lots of other ones such as being fearful that I’ll get schizophrenia or scared I’ll get my drink spiked etc... and they all passed on with time so I’m hoping this one does it just seems impossible at the moment ?

like I googled it and it came up the samiritans for suicidal thoughts so it instantly made me think yes you are having them. 

I don’t want to have them so that makes me think it must be my ocd but then you know the doubt comes in and makes me stuck. 

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There are lots of ways to expose yourself but I won't recommend you to try it yourself and you should see to an OCD therapist and learn coping techniques from them. The exposure techniques for harm OCD and suicidal OCD can be dangerous so you should better see to a therapist.

You can read this post as they are from OCD experts and it can help you to deal with your OCD.

https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/overcoming-harm-ocd

https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/harm-ocd/

https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-violent-obsessions/

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