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[eualice]

hello ... i'm new here and i use google translator because i only speak portuguese. So sorry for any mistakes. I am suffering a lot with OCD and I am a mother. I have tried to resist compulsions, but I can't always do it. The guilt and fear of not just being an ocd and not fighting such wrong thoughts wins most of the time. Does it take too long to improve? Who has overcome this specific problem of toc could give me tips?

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi there Eualice

Welcome to the forum! I'm glad google translator has allowed you to seek help with us. The time it takes to improve varies massively from one person to the next so there isn't a specific timeframe. We do know that with the right help people can improve a lot quicker than they imagined. I'm not sure where you are in the world because you didn't say but here in the UK we recommend a therapy called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which looks at what meanings we place on our thoughts and helps us to challenge them in structured way that is tailored to us as individuals.

There is a great self-help book called Break free from OCD by Paul Salkovskis, Fiona Challacombe and Victoria Bream, which I'm not sure if you will be able to access, but if you can is a great way to learn how to tackle OCD yourself if you are yet to access therapy. 

Gemma

[Ocd10]

Hi Eualice,

Welcome to the forums... I hope you find the help and support here useful

I agree with Gemma's advice and book recommendation

I just wanted to add that I have had severe OCD for 15+ years, but was lucky enough to receive help from the National OCD Service in the UK in 2017... I know you won't be able to access that service yourself, unfortunately, but just wanted to give you hope that OCD can improve, no matter how bad it is or how long you have suffered for. I'm now much further along in my road to recovery, which is great

The recommended treatment here in the UK is Exposure and Response Prevention (a type of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), and I can say it works if you can give it a go

I have written a book 'Defeating OCD using Exposure & Response Prevention: A Pocket Guide' which is available on Amazon. It's written in English, but hopefully wouldn't be too difficult to translate in to Portuguese as it's not that 'wordy'.

There is also help on this forum and the OCD-UK website, and there is usually someone happy to point you in the right direction if you need.

Take care,

Catherine 

[PolarBear]

I have to take exception to information given in the last couple of posts. 

OCDUK does not recommend ERP as the best treatment for OCD. Neither do I. 

ERP is a wonderful part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy but it is not the only part.

Do not overlook the benefits of Cognitive Therapy, which teaches sufferers to think differently about their obsessions. One can also work on slowing down and stopping compulsions without doing full ERP.

To me, ERP is like the icing on the cake of recovery.

[eualice]

On 20/11/2020 at 12:41, Gemma@OCDUK said:

Oi ai Eualice

Bem-vindo ao fórum! Estou feliz que o google tradutor permitiu que você buscasse ajuda conosco. O tempo que leva para melhorar varia enormemente de uma pessoa para outra, então não há um prazo específico. Sabemos que, com a ajuda certa, as pessoas podem melhorar muito mais rápido do que imaginavam. Não tenho certeza de onde você está no mundo porque você não disse, mas aqui no Reino Unido nós recomendamos uma terapia chamada Terapia Cognitiva Comportamental (TCC), que analisa quais significados colocamos em nossos pensamentos e nos ajuda a desafiá-los de forma estruturada que é feita sob medida para nós como indivíduos.

Existe um ótimo livro de autoajuda chamado Break free from OCD, de Paul Salkovskis, Fiona Challacombe e Victoria Bream, que não tenho certeza se você conseguirá acessar, mas se puder, é uma ótima maneira de aprender como lidar com OCD se você ainda não teve acesso à terapia. 

Gemma

Thank you very much for the welcome! Very happy about it. And yes ... the Google translator is being very useful to me because I have already read several posts on the forum. I live in Brazil. I actually did cognitive behavioral therapy a year and a half ago or so, and I was fine for a while. At the beginning of those days when I was "cured" I even forgot that one day I had had toc. But little by little he came back I already had everyone and I'm in the worst of them (pocd) and, as I said, I'm a mother. Having toc, being a mother and, on top of that, almost made me depressed this time. At the moment I am not able to afford the therapy at the moment you know. I tried to do the EPR exercises on my own to try to help me with my thoughts but I went into despair feeling like the worst person in the world. I will look for that book you told me. Thank you!

[eualice]

29 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Tenho que discordar das informações fornecidas nos últimos dois posts. 

OCDUK não recomenda o ERP como o melhor tratamento para o TOC. Nem eu. 

ERP é uma parte maravilhosa da terapia cognitivo-comportamental, mas não é a única parte.

Não ignore os benefícios da Terapia Cognitiva, que ensina os sofredores a pensar de forma diferente sobre suas obsessões. Também se pode trabalhar para diminuir e parar compulsões sem fazer ERP completo.

Para mim, o ERP é como a cereja do bolo da recuperação.

Hi ... thanks for the guidance. I tried to do ERP on my own, but I got really, really bad. And at the moment, I can't afford therapy again. I already did the TCC when my ocd was lighter. Now I'm in the worst of all. I am resisting compulsions as much as I can. But as you said, this part of thinking differently is very difficult. It seems that the wrong form has taken root in my mind and I cannot see myself as before. Today was a good day, but I have never suffered as much as in the past few months.

[eualice]

On 21/11/2020 at 16:31, Ocd10 said:

Olá Eualice,

Bem-vindo aos fóruns ... Espero que a ajuda e suporte aqui sejam úteis

Eu concordo com o conselho e recomendação de livro de Gemma

Eu só queria acrescentar que tenho TOC grave há mais de 15 anos, mas tive a sorte de receber ajuda do Serviço Nacional de TOC no Reino Unido em 2017 ... Sei que você não conseguirá acessar esse serviço sozinho, infelizmente, mas só queria lhe dar esperança de que o TOC pode melhorar, não importa o quão ruim seja ou por quanto tempo você sofreu. Agora estou muito mais adiantado no meu caminho de recuperação, o que é ótimo

O tratamento recomendado aqui no Reino Unido é a Prevenção de Exposição e Resposta (um tipo de Terapia Cognitivo-Comportamental), e posso dizer que funciona se você tentar

Escrevi um livro 'Derrotando o TOC usando a prevenção de exposição e resposta: um guia de bolso', que está disponível na Amazon. Está escrito em inglês, mas espero que não seja muito difícil de traduzir para o português, pois não é tão prolixo.

Também há ajuda neste fórum e no site do OCD-UK, e geralmente há alguém feliz em indicar a direção certa se você precisar.

Cuidar,

Catherine 

Hi, thank you very much for the guidance. I will search on amazon. I'm glad it's okay now. This disease is very cruel, I don't wish it on anyone. Thanks.

[BigDave]

It’s very true. The disorder is very cruel

Edited November 23, 2020 by BigDave

[eualice]

11 hours ago, Albertina said:

Em média, pode levar cerca de seis a doze meses para superar o TOC se os sintomas não forem graves. Para se recuperar do TOC, você terá que fazer terapia e tomar medicamentos. Os tratamentos mais eficazes para o TOC são a Prevenção de Exposição e Resposta (ERP), um tipo de TCC junto com medicamentos. Você pode ler estes artigos e aprender mais sobre a terapia ERP.

https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-exactly-is-exposure-and-response-prevention-erp/

https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/

https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/erp-therapy-a-good-choice-for-treating-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/

Thank you! I saved it here so I could read everything. thanks

[eualice]

2 minutes ago, BigDave said:

It’s very true. The disorder is very cruel

Strength for you too friend. Only those who suffer from ocd can understand another sufferer.

[pinetrees]

Hi there. I've never posted on this forum before but I've read it a lot to help me when things get bad. I think I've had OCD for years. All types. It just changes. From cleaning ocd to relationship to pocd. I find when I solve one it changes to another. I never used to have pocd. I think it mainly started when I had my little girl over a year ago. Her dad was sexually abused as a child and I think that's why it's developed. It's now the worst of them all. But I find ways to muddle through. I haven't had an therapy. (I'm scared to talk about it). But I love self help and I've read into CBT and I've been able to use that to help alot. I find just doing things helps too. I also exercise most days of the week which I think helps. The release of dopamine and serotonin (the happy hormones) from the brain can relieve stress and also just having a healthy diet. I find when I smoke a cigarette it gets worse straight away. Alcohol can numb it sometimes but it usually gets worse the next day too.

 

I wanted to reply to your post to say I understand what you're going through and just how hard it is when you have a little person around you that I'm sure you love with all you're heart and would never do anything to hurt. But because of that I know it makes me feel disgusted in myself like I shouldn't be around her. I've had a few good days recently and then today I had one thought and a groinal response and my mood plummeted. It's hard sometimes. Really hard. But I know its my ocd. Even when writing this my brain is trying to convince me it's not. Another part of the ocd monster. 

Anyway, I really hope things improve for you and if you've got any advice that you've learned where you live it would be great to hear. (may be something different to the UK)

Peace and love xo

 

 

 

Edited December 17, 2020 by pinetrees
Spelling errors

[paleandmorbid]

On 18/11/2020 at 21:20, eualice said:

hello ... i'm new here and i use google translator because i only speak portuguese. So sorry for any mistakes. I am suffering a lot with OCD and I am a mother. I have tried to resist compulsions, but I can't always do it. The guilt and fear of not just being an ocd and not fighting such wrong thoughts wins most of the time. Does it take too long to improve? Who has overcome this specific problem of toc could give me tips?

Hi, I'm also new here! Feel free to message if you'd like to connect.

Cuide-Se!

[eualice]

On 17/12/2020 at 17:21, pinetrees said:

Olá. Eu nunca postei neste fórum antes, mas li muito para me ajudar quando as coisas ficam ruins. Acho que tenho TOC há anos. Todos os tipos. Apenas muda. Da limpeza ocd ao relacionamento com o pocd . Acho que quando resolvo um, ele muda para outro. Eu nunca tive pocd. Acho que começou principalmente quando tive minha filha, há mais de um ano. O pai dela foi abusado sexualmente quando criança e acho que é por isso que se desenvolveu. Agora é o pior de todos. Mas encontro maneiras de me arrastar. Eu não fiz terapia. (Tenho medo de falar sobre isso). Mas eu amo a autoajuda e li sobre a CBT e tenho sido capaz de usar isso para ajudar muito. Acho que fazer as coisas também ajuda. Eu também faço exercícios na maioria dos dias da semana, o que acho que ajuda. A liberação de dopamina e serotonina (os hormônios da felicidade) do cérebro pode aliviar o estresse e também apenas ter uma dieta saudável. Eu acho que quando eu fumo um cigarro, fica pior imediatamente. O álcool pode entorpecê-lo às vezes, mas geralmente piora no dia seguinte.

 

Queria responder à sua postagem para dizer que entendo o que você está passando e o quão difícil é quando você tem uma pequena pessoa ao seu redor que tenho certeza que você ama de todo o coração e nunca faria nada para doeu. Mas por causa disso eu sei que me dá nojo de mim mesmo como se não devesse estar perto dela. Tive alguns dias bons recentemente e hoje tive um pensamento e uma resposta virilha e meu humor despencou. Às vezes é difícil. Muito difícil. Mas eu sei que é meu ocd. Mesmo quando escrevo isso, meu cérebro tenta me convencer de que não é. Outra parte do monstro ocd. 

De qualquer forma, eu realmente espero que as coisas melhorem para você e se você tem algum conselho que aprendeu onde mora, seria ótimo ouvir. (pode ser algo diferente do Reino Unido)

Paz e amor xo

 

 

 

Thank you! Your story is identical to mine. It looks like you described my life. Thanks for the support ... Yes, I would never hurt her. If I ever suspected of doing harm, I would rather lose my life first. But just having these thoughts and answers is enough for me to want to get away and feel like ****. She has even complained that it seems that I don't like her anymore. But anyway ... thanks for the support. I am trying to help myself day after day.

[eualice]

On 18/12/2020 at 04:28, paleandmorbid said:

Hi, I'm also new here! Feel free to message if you'd like to connect.

Cuide-Se!

Thanks!! One day we managed to win this fight.

[pinetrees]

I completely agree, I'd rather lose my life first too. Aw, how old is your daughter? What do you do when you get the thoughts? And what are your triggers if you don't mind me asking?

Peace and love xo

[eualice]

23 minutes ago, pinetrees said:

Concordo plenamente, prefiro perder minha vida primeiro também. Ah, quantos anos tem sua filha? O que você faz quando recebe os pensamentos? E quais são seus gatilhos se você não se importa que eu pergunte?

Paz e amor xo

You can ask ... although I feel disgusted with myself just talking you know ... she is 12 years old, lately only her presence makes thoughts come, it is automatic ... I try to keep my distance the way I give it and I ask for forgiveness goodbye. I know it's compulsions, but the fear of it being real, being myself and the guilt is overwhelming on a level that I can't explain. I'm very ashamed to be like that too.

[MarieJo]

OCD targets the people we love the most. This is not you it's the illness. Try not to forgot that.  I know it's hard. I too have been plagued by ocd most of my life. Harm ocd, relationship ocd then pocd. They are all horrendous but pocd is the worst especially as a mother. We all have one thing in common. We love our children more than anything on earth and we are all sensitive people, loving and caring and we would never hurt them. I know it's hard but try not to distance yourself from her or that will cause her to feel sad and confused. I hope you get better soon and feel some peace x

[pinetrees]

It's the same with my little one. I feel disgusted having the thoughts too but I know it's not me. The way I distinguish it is by desire. I desire many things in life but I do not desire molesting my daughter or anything else. I KNOW that's not me. And I know you feel the same way too. You just have to tell yourself that. 

 

I agree with Marie Joe. It is hard but distancing yourself from your daughter will only cause problems in your relationship. I started to do this a while ago and I felt bad that the bond with my daughter was being affected by this so now I just accept that the thoughts happen and try not to hold guilt to myself. It's definitely something that becomes easier with practice.

 

Peace and love xo