short term memory gaps and ocd - struggling

[humbleno1]

I have short term memory gaps that I usually remember when on autopilot mode, hard to explain basically my intrusive thoughts centre around somehow doing something, subconsciously, but today I was very scared as I literally had an intrusive thought and then had a short term memory gap, and could not remember 3 or 4 seconds what i was doing after just having the thought.

The gap was scary in of itself, I couldnt remember what i was thinking a second ago or where i was.

 

now im worried i somehow did the intrusive thought, it literally felt like a time lapse.

[PolarBear]

Meh. Some days I can't remember if I'm wearing underwear.

You know the drill. Don't feed your OCD with compulsions. Don't fight to remember.

[humbleno1]

14 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Meh. Some days I can't remember if I'm wearing underwear.

You know the drill. Don't feed your OCD with compulsions. Don't fight to remember.

 

even if i dont ever recall those seconds? kinda scary no

[PolarBear]

How many seconds are you going to waste trying to remember those few seconds?

[Phil]

My suggestion is that it is not a memory (short term) problem, it is a an attention issue. If we are not attending (taking in) something we cannot cognitively process it and it doesn't  enter our memory system. People who are in autopilot and thinking about other things (selective attention) tend to have attention difficulties.  Its very common with people with anxiety. Take a look on YouTube about selective attention below. You may be surprised, let me know if you have any questions etc 

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[humbleno1]

13 minutes ago, Phil said:

My suggestion is that it is not a memory (short term) problem, it is a an attention issue. If we are not attending (taking in) something we cannot cognitively process it and it doesn't  enter our memory system. People who are in autopilot and thinking about other things (selective attention) tend to have attention difficulties.  Its very common with people with anxiety. Take a look on YouTube about selective attention below. You may be surprised, let me know if you have any questions etc 

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but there is a point where u remember kinda where u were or where ur at, it IS a complete gap.

 

anyway ive decided to let it go, theres literally **** all i can do about it.

 

still scary tho, ocd always throws me a curveball.

Edited November 20, 2020 by humbleno1

[humbleno1]

57 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

How many seconds are you going to waste trying to remember those few seconds?

i literally cant remember it i tried.... and it scares me half want to ask the store for the cctv.. but i cant do that. so im just gonna have to live with it...

[humbleno1]

19 minutes ago, Phil said:

My suggestion is that it is not a memory (short term) problem, it is a an attention issue. If we are not attending (taking in) something we cannot cognitively process it and it doesn't  enter our memory system. People who are in autopilot and thinking about other things (selective attention) tend to have attention difficulties.  Its very common with people with anxiety. Take a look on YouTube about selective attention below. You may be surprised, let me know if you have any questions etc 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

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also yes, i agree ive had this but was always able to retrace at least partially a movement, to know this was a complete gap, in what i was doing, almost like a blackout, very weird, scaring me still... , i couldnt even remember what i was actually thinking about. wether i was spiking or not, it was a complete cognitive gap...

i have had similar things, for instance i was once on the phone, to someone, a group walked by and asked what time it was, i gave them the time, 2 minutes later, i said to the person on the phone what time is it?

the only reassurance i have is i was with my girlfriend, who said i didnt do anything out of the ordinary, and she could see me packing, she said she would have noticed if i did anything strange, so....

 

but yeh i dunno.

[humbleno1]

i really dont know what to do tbh, i know i cant remember it and if i do think i can remember something, which i kinda dont, i think im just making it up.

[Phil]

 Hi again.

When you said 'i was once on the phone, to someone, a group walked by and asked what time it was, i gave them the time, 2 minutes later, i said to the person on the phone what time is it?', you have just remembered it. Not trying to be a  clever dick, but  you must have processed that in your short term memory to consolidate it in your long term memory. I think, that its still attention, probably maintained by high anxiety/stress. The more we worry/obsess about it the worse it gets, We have a  cognitive filtering system and when we are anxious this is not as efficient, especially when what we are thinking/talking about something meaningful/significant and hits our emotional system. We also tend to pick up the things that we negatively select to and are threatening, and not the many things that's ok with us, then when we focus on the negative stuff and this just magnifies it. We then end up just focusing on this and are forever testing it in some way or other, which again  can become obsessive.  Its funny, when we are in the 'zone' or  'flow' ( say playing a computer game) and really focusing, then someone brings in , say a cup of coffee, for us, what's the betting that we don't remember them even coming in, and our coffee goes cold. We are just selectively attending to something we are interested in, its not memory issues, its us being human. I can honestly say  that during my NHS CBT therapist career, I have never known any of my anxiety patients (hundreds) to have any memory issues, although some thought they did, until after therapy recovery  regards Phil