Chels Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 So I saw a picture on social media and I’m convincing myself that I saw it when I was on the toilet and wiped myself when I saw it, this would be really bad if I did. Even tho it wasn’t done for pleasure but I can’t stop panicking and Iv stupidly confessed to my boyfriend even though I don’t know if it’s true- it’s probably not Link to comment
Binxy Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 Come on Chels. You know the score. If it feels like OCD, treat it like OCD- no overthinking, no trying to convince yourself... you'll just remain stuck. Let it go, move on, find something nice to do instead of this. Hope this passes soon, Binx Link to comment
Chels Posted November 20, 2020 Author Share Posted November 20, 2020 No one understands me, all I can describe this like is a paranoid boyfriend who accuses you of doing bad things and you actually doubt yourself and believe it that much that you can’t decifer which is real and what isn’t I can’t do this anymore Link to comment
Chels Posted November 20, 2020 Author Share Posted November 20, 2020 @Binxy honestly I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore, it’s like I can’t actually decide what is real and what isn’t, I know I wouldn’t do it but my mind is convincing me I did and how will I ever know, trying to explain this to my partner and me telling him I don’t know what’s really and what isn’t is confusing him, he doesn’t get it. I think he thinks I tell him things to hurt him and that’s the last thing I want Link to comment
PolarBear Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 Back up. Your mind made a connection between seeing the picture and wiping yourself. The connection doesn't exist naturally. It only exists in your mind. There is nothing wrong with both happening at rhe same time. Your mind might tell you it's wrong but OCD minds lie, all the time. Link to comment
Binxy Posted November 21, 2020 Share Posted November 21, 2020 On 20/11/2020 at 13:40, Chels said: honestly I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore, it’s like I can’t actually decide what is real and what isn’t, 6 Years ago this was absolutely me. I could convince myself by the time I had walked home from work that I had battered various vulnerable people on the journey. It was truly horrible to feel guilt for something I hadn't done but couldn't be sure I hadn't. The more I tried to convince myself it was OK the more I would "create" memories of what hadn't happened. The solution.... trust the diagnosis- I have OCD. I'm not cured, still have bad days but I'm nowhere near where I was six years ago. Link to comment
BigDave Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 On 20/11/2020 at 13:11, Chels said: So I saw a picture on social media and I’m convincing myself that I saw it when I was on the toilet and wiped myself when I saw it, this would be really bad if I did. Even tho it wasn’t done for pleasure but I can’t stop panicking and Iv stupidly confessed to my boyfriend even though I don’t know if it’s true- it’s probably not Firstly, I’m not sure why it is a bad thing that you wiped yourself while seeing a picture. You wiped yourself. That’s all you did. I think your OCD is looking for something to punish you with and you have nothing to be sorry about. Link to comment
Chels Posted November 30, 2020 Author Share Posted November 30, 2020 On 20/11/2020 at 13:45, PolarBear said: Back up. Your mind made a connection between seeing the picture and wiping yourself. The connection doesn't exist naturally. It only exists in your mind. There is nothing wrong with both happening at rhe same time. Your mind might tell you it's wrong but OCD minds lie, all the time. Thank you, it seems this thought has no importance now and I have a different thought that is worrying me. That I have the urge to confess it’s not a thought as such just more worrying about someone speaking to me which made me feel panicked. I know I didn’t do anything wrong but feel horrible . I tend to not speak to people of the opposite sex unless there much older than me or not good looking. Otherwise all I do is overthink. Which is what I’m doing now Link to comment
Chels Posted November 30, 2020 Author Share Posted November 30, 2020 @BigDave thank you, I realise now that it wasn’t anything and I shouldn’t of worried but as always it has been replaced with another thought event which is sending my heart rate through the roof Link to comment
Chels Posted November 30, 2020 Author Share Posted November 30, 2020 @Binxy thanks for your reply. I wish I could have one day where I didn’t worry uncontrollably Link to comment
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