Heather Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 Dear All I have joined this site as i am finding things really difficult. My son is 30 years of age and has suffered with anxiety for a few years now, but since COVID he has developed Contamination OCD. I am struggling with the things that he is doing, such as washing all day, showering. He gave up his job at the beginning of the first lockdown as his job was causing his anxiety. He is now doing his Master degree and doing very well with it, but he spends all his time in his bedroom. He walks maybe 2 to 3 times a week. He is under the mental health team and taking sertraline. I suffer with anxiety and know how debilitating it can be. I have never see anything like OCD until nowI. This has sent my anxiety soaring and i am unable to get any answers from his key workers due to confidentiality. I really dont know how to deal with it. Should i tell my son to stop it, do i tell him he is being irrational? How do i tell him to stop leaving his washing all over the floor. He wont eat anything that i make and he is doing really strange things with food. He opened 5 tins of tuna one day and he didnt eat any of it. I asked him why, he just says he cant. This is all just a little of what he is doing. I spoke to my GP today and she suggested this forum to try and seek some answers, understanding of how to deal with this. Thank you for listening Link to comment
malina Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 Hi Heather, I'm really sorry to hear that both you and your son are going through such a hard time. I'm your son's age but have been suffering from OCD for a very long time and I know that I've put my parents through a lot over the years. I can also understand how overwhelming it must be for you and how hard it is to understand his irrational fears. I'm not sure if this is good advice, but what I found helpful from my own family is when they have been understanding but firm. He is going through a very hard time and engaging in these odd behaviours as a way to cope, even though it's the wrong way of going about it. So having some empathy for how much he must be suffering is really important. On the other hand, you shouldn't feed into his compulsions. So I suppose what really helped me was when my parents acknowledged how hard it was for me and the fact that these irrational fears were very real to me, but maintained that they were irrational nonetheless. I also understand how his odd behaviours must make you really anxious and scared for his wellbeing. While he obviously does need to stop behaving in such a way, you don't need to panic. These behaviours are compulsions and are essentially his way of coping, albeit this is a wrong coping mechanism. Is your son doing CBT? He can learn strategies to reduce these compulsions. I don't know if that was helpful at all, but I hope things get better for you. So many of us have been in the same place that your son is in and we have gotten through it with the right help. So please don't give up hope, it may take some time and a lot of work, but it will get better! Link to comment
Heather Posted December 7, 2020 Author Share Posted December 7, 2020 Thank you, Malian. I think I have felt so alone. I have heard about OCD, but have never met anyone who has it or know of anyone caring for someone. This sound awful, but it reassures me to know that he and myself are not alone. It’s very reassuring to know that he will get better. I don’t want to confront him, but I feel like I am walking on eggshells. I love him so much and I just want him to be happy. Thank you for your reply. Take care Link to comment
malina Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 (edited) 37 minutes ago, Heather said: Thank you, Malian. I think I have felt so alone. I have heard about OCD, but have never met anyone who has it or know of anyone caring for someone. This sound awful, but it reassures me to know that he and myself are not alone. It’s very reassuring to know that he will get better. I don’t want to confront him, but I feel like I am walking on eggshells. I love him so much and I just want him to be happy. Thank you for your reply. Take care It's not awful at all, this is why so many of us with OCD come to this forum, to feel less alone and know there are others who have the same problem. Do you know if your son is getting cognitive behaviour therapy? That is typically the best type of therapy for OCD, it has helped me so much and most people on here swear by it. Edited December 7, 2020 by malina Link to comment
Heather Posted December 8, 2020 Author Share Posted December 8, 2020 He is under the mental health team so I assume as well as meds he is having CBT. Link to comment
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