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Ocd reveals itself


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I've just been through an awful night obsessing and ruminating (i know all the wrong behaviour) over pictures of someone on catwalk who is 14 and looks 14 to me one second and 14 yr old looking 22 (cue nausea) and then just 14 (cue anxiety reduction) and all manner of compilations.

Anyone else notice how when obsessing like this you go through all manner of thoughts and convictions over what you are looking at and it feels like you're in and out of touch with own  identity and further down the moral path you fear? Sometimes pictures I obsess over seem to be like that old fashioned vase or faces illusion.

I know ruminating is a complete no and it's clear you just ending up planting a seed and you go from one thought to endless but my question here is more of noticing visually I see one.way then next. I guess however that's no different from analysing thoughts, sounds, feelings under compulsion, it's all a battle of identity and anxiety.

 

 

 

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On 02/01/2021 at 05:32, njb said:

I know ruminating is a complete no and it's clear you just ending up planting a seed and you go from one thought to endless but my question here is more of noticing visually I see one.way then next. I guess however that's no different from analysing thoughts, sounds, feelings under compulsion, it's all a battle of identity and anxiety.

You've got that right!! And honestly, and unfortunately, girls are sexualized at such a young age and made to look older than they are at times. Fair enough that she could look significantly older at a certain angle, especially considering she was on a catwalk being dressed up and in a sense exposed at such a young age. It's sad it's the world we live in. But as far as your OCD goes, no more ruminating :)

Edited by hazydaze
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10 hours ago, hazydaze said:

You've got that right!! And honestly, and unfortunately, girls are sexualized at such a young age and made to look older than they are at times. Fair enough that she could look significantly older at a certain angle, especially considering she was on a catwalk being dressed up and in a sense exposed at such a young age. It's sad it's the world we live in. But as far as your OCD goes, no more ruminating :)

I agree. I get stuck on ensuring I can also see the actual child beneath the make up etc. Once I do that I see the young face and all the rest looks like a child and I get fatherly nurturing feelings but then it flips like the person is older and I freak out. Of course with ruminating you get a mash up and before you know it you're in a haze where you see the say 14yr old as sexy as you're in the zone of complete confusion and morphing. What a waste of life to be doing this.

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8 minutes ago, MarieJo said:

I think the key is to stop testing yourself 

I know and it's the battle I keep losing. Gotta keep trying though.

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