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I read a post last night that triggered me it was about anime. I have always felt weird about anime because i thought it was creepy but in this post someone had mentioned they were attracted to it and they had researched that the girls in it were under age. I started freaking out thinking ‘what if I felt weird about it because I was attracted to it too’ I really don’t want to be and these thoughts are making me sad and I feel like it’s knocking me back again. I just keep thinking am I attracted to it and having flashes of bits of it I’ve seen (I’ve never watched anime’s but I have seen adverts etc) and I’m unsure what I feel. I hate groinal responses because I really don’t want them and it confuses me massively.

any comments on this would be appreciated 

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Hey Cas, 

I have recently had similar thoughts to yours and after lots of reading on this forum I’m coming to terms with the fact that: 

- OCD is powerful and complex and will latch onto anything it can to bring about the compulsions. Even things that you’ve never thought/worried about before. Even things that make you think you’re a criminal.

I’ve finally come to this realisation after a long time of believing (and trust me, it’s still a constant battle!) that each different thing I ruminate on is an exception to the rule and actually not OCD. Spoiler alert: no matter what the situation is, it’s all OCD. And OCD will play tricks and disguise things to make it seem like new worries are valid and somehow different when they’re not. It’s the same mechanism over and over again, just using different content. 

I hope this helps in some way - sending lots of hugs your way! X

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