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What is commonly referred to as a groinal response is simply a sensation of some sort 'down there'.

There really is no physical difference between arousal and that sensation. They are really the same.

Your sexual organs are perfectly capable of making themselves known at any time. And there doesn't have to be a reason for it. They are parts of your body with muscles and nerve endings. They move. They give off sensations. It's all very normal.

The problem is association, as in when a sufferer associates that perfectly normal sensation with an intrusive thought. Initially, there is no association but OCD loves to play games and a sufferer's mind can make a connection.

This immediately puts the sufferer on guard. The sufferer is horrified that the thought caused this sexual feeling. Being on guard, the next time such a thought appears, the sufferer concentrates on his/her nether regions and, presto, a sensation appears. This confirms to the sufferer that there is an association between the thought and sensation. The sufferer completely misses the fact that it was their concentration on the sensation that caused the sensation to appear.

And thus, in short order, the sufferer has such sensations every time the thoughts appear.

 

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6 hours ago, PolarBear said:

What is commonly referred to as a groinal response is simply a sensation of some sort 'down there'.

There really is no physical difference between arousal and that sensation. They are really the same.

Your sexual organs are perfectly capable of making themselves known at any time. And there doesn't have to be a reason for it. They are parts of your body with muscles and nerve endings. They move. They give off sensations. It's all very normal.

The problem is association, as in when a sufferer associates that perfectly normal sensation with an intrusive thought. Initially, there is no association but OCD loves to play games and a sufferer's mind can make a connection.

This immediately puts the sufferer on guard. The sufferer is horrified that the thought caused this sexual feeling. Being on guard, the next time such a thought appears, the sufferer concentrates on his/her nether regions and, presto, a sensation appears. This confirms to the sufferer that there is an association between the thought and sensation. The sufferer completely misses the fact that it was their concentration on the sensation that caused the sensation to appear.

And thus, in short order, the sufferer has such sensations every time the thoughts appear.

 

Wow thank you for the detailed response this sensation is/and has been a huge hurdle in my recovery from OCD. So how do we go about breaking the association with it?

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Now you know, so use that knowledge. When it happens, take the approach of, "Eh, whatever." Then move your focus onto whatever you were doing. That's it. Don't give it any more attention.

The less you do about these instances, the better.

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I will describe my groinal responses.  Now bear in mind I could be gay in denial.  The scary thing about my groinal responses is that they are getting stronger more frequent and evolving.  My groin reacts to things now it never did before.

see a man and can get an INSTANT strong groinal sensation like the arteries into my groin are expanding and swelling.  However for the last 14 years this would happen every week maybe.  Now its multiple times a day, every day.  It used to just affect my groin.  Now I feel adrenaline and my heart speeding up and beating stronger.  IT is uncomfortable and unpleasant but feels like hyper sexual arousal.  I so far havent developed any changes in my penis size when this happens. HOWEVER recently and this has only happened in the last 3 weeks I have noticed it is causing a slight twitch in my penis like it is trying to pump in blood.  This scares me.

Other times its a sexual tingling.  Sometimes I feel an urge.

I always used to compare my reactions to women v men and women always won hands down.  Now I can't get aroused by pics of women when I always used to.  Now pics of men which were always non arousing cause a groinal EVERY SINGLE TIME (well 99% of the time).  My body is changing and this freaks me out.

As I said I have no idea if I am just gay and cant come to terms with it or is this 'the groinal response'.  Mine feel far too intense I fear to be just an ocd manifestation.

I had a weird dream the other night.  All my wet dreams growing up were about women.  Anyway I had this dream where I was sitting in an ocd therapists office and confessing to her my gay fears and asking her was it ocd.  The therapist started laughing and the next scene is some guy naked comes in and forces himself sexually on me and I resist and then I thought maybe I should let him to test my reactions and I felt an intense sensation in my groin and woke up in a panic and I was sweating and my heart was pounding.

I still hope that its ocd but tbh I feel like I am clutching at straws. I've had this 14 years now.  Every new day feels like I am that much closer to accepting it.

 

Edited by Dave321
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59 minutes ago, Dave321 said:

 I've had this 14 years now.  Every new day feels like I am that much closer to accepting it.

 

You'll be saying the exact same thing 20 years from now unless you change what you are doing.

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I realise I have this for life and just have to suffer through it.   It will never go away.   I will either end up gay or a basket case.  Its only my opinion but I dont think a person can get past groinal responses.  Anyone that gets them bad never seems to get better.

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Dave, you are wrong on so many levels. You have such a fatalistic attitude that you've ignored our words for years. You really do need psychological help; help to get you into a better place where you can accept OCD advice more easily.

OCD does not have to be for life and you do not have to suffer forever. In fact, the reason you continue to suffer is because you steadfastly refuse to change. You keep doing the same things and keep getting the same result.

You neither need to be gay nor a basket case. There is a third option: to get well.

Yes, people get past groinal responses. Lots of people do. Case in point: me. I first started getting them when I was about 15. They didn't stop until I was almost 40. And the reason they stopped is because I chose to stop suffering and be well. I got educated and I did the hard work necessary to be well.

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The way you describe your groinals is a different experience to mine.  I dont go looking for them.  They literally occir spontaneously (but only to men) even when I am not even paying attention and absorbed in something else.  For example I could be typing like I am now and the tv could be on as white noise int he background and a topless Gillette tv advert might appear in my peripheral vision and a strong arousal happens before I eve look up.  My brain knows before my conscious that its a man and groinals occurs.   Its not like I look at a man for 2 mins and scrutinise my groin and then something happens.  That's why I think maybe its not ocd and a natural sexual response for a gay man to have.   I'm even getting them now to full clothed men. 

I have a huge dislike of psychologists and psychs from bad experiences. 

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I just got a groinal to a fully clothed guy on tv and my penis twitched from a jolt of arousal.  This is new for me and this twitch only started happening about 3 weeks ago.  Never in the previous 14 years. I am scared the way this is evolving and making me more and more sure I'm gay.  My body never did this **** before.  And I cant get aroused to women anymore.  I cant see how this is ocd.

Edited by Dave321
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3 hours ago, Dave321 said:

Anyway I had this dream where I was sitting in an ocd therapists office and confessing to her my gay fears and asking her was it ocd.  The therapist started laughing and the next scene is some guy naked comes in and forces himself sexually on me and I resist and then I thought maybe I should let him to test my reactions

Dave, it almost sounds like you are homophobic! I don't mean that in a spiteful way, but as a genuine mental illness type phobia, much like any other phobia!

It comes across like gay people are ready to pounce on anyone of the same sex, regardless of sexuality!

Personally, I am attracted to ladies, but I am sure desires & so on are more or less similar regardless what sex & sexuality you are, but as I previously mentioned, it is as if gays are out to get you?

I really do believe believe what you have is OCD!

 

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Hmm I hear you but not sure if it is quite like that.  Possibly I have a fear of a gay coming onto me but I think its more I am afraid I will do something with a guy one day if a guy ever did try it on.

I can identify and say 'I am gay' to myself in my head and feel calm but if my groin so much as reacts to a guy I freak out a bit and DO NOT like it at all.  I think I try to ''try on being gay' in the hope that it will stop this torment and maybe I will realise its not true but the more I think it might be true the more I freak out.

I dont know why.  I have talked to my mother about it and she is bored with me telling her I must be gay. 

I dont know why I am afraid. I just am and I know there is nothing wrong with being gay but the more I hear that the more anxious it makes me feel like it must be true if people are telling me that.

I am scared dedinitely because I identified as straight growing up and had arousal to seeing women on page 3 or in porn and I would fantasise about women only.   I think I was a very innocent teenager.  Anyway what is scaring the **** out of me is no longer reacting to women and reacting more to men as time goes on.  Its like my reactions have switched 180 degrees.   I dont like it and fear I will never find a woman exciting ever again.  My sex drive is zero.  Like -100 for women.  I only get scary arousal from men multilple times a day.  If I sit next to a male friend my groin starts doing weird things. 

It feels like my body is like a bad cop interrogating me non stop for years with proof I am gay and shouting at me and coercing a false confession from me.  My own body is scaring me and telling me I am gay admit it. 

I have the gay finger ratio too so I think that must be proof I was born gay and never realised

Edited by Dave321
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49 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

I didn't describe what my sensations were like, so how can you say they're not like yours? I know, you just dismiss whatever I say.

Such a waste.

I dont know what to do PolarBear. 

My mother has a fear/phobia of snakes.  If she as much sees one on tv or in a photo she cant look at it and has to turn away and she gets really anxious and sometimes might scream.

Groinal responses to men are sort of like that to me.  They scare me and no matter how many thousands and thousands of times they have occurred now they still frighten me.  I dont habituate to them.  Exposures to them dont work. I have tried it. I've experienced them  for 14 years now.  The still scare me and make me anxious.  Its a sort of calm anxious now as opposed to crying  and freaking out.  I sit there frozen in fright like I've seen a ghost when they occur.

Now I think maybe I am making this up to make it sound like ocd.

 

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On 15/01/2021 at 22:29, Dave321 said:

Hmm eu ouço você, mas não tenho certeza se é bem assim. Possivelmente tenho medo de que um gay venha até mim, mas acho que é mais porque tenho medo de fazer alguma coisa com um cara um dia, se um cara o experimentar.

Eu posso me identificar e dizer 'Eu sou gay' na minha cabeça e me sentir calma, mas se minha virilha reage a um cara eu surto um pouco e NÃO gosto nada disso. Eu acho que tento '' tentar ser gay 'na esperança de que isso acabe com esse tormento e talvez eu perceba que não é verdade, mas quanto mais eu acho que pode ser verdade, mais eu surto.

Não sei por quê. Falei com minha mãe sobre isso e ela está entediada comigo dizendo a ela que devo ser gay. 

Não sei por que estou com medo. Eu simplesmente sou e sei que não há nada de errado em ser gay, mas quanto mais ouço isso, mais ansioso me faz sentir que deve ser verdade se as pessoas estão me dizendo isso.

Estou com medo de verdade porque me identifiquei como uma criança heterossexual e tive excitação para ver mulheres na página 3 ou no pornô e só fantasiava com mulheres. Acho que fui um adolescente muito inocente. De qualquer forma, o que está me assustando pra caralho é não reagir mais às mulheres e reagir mais aos homens com o passar do tempo. É como se minhas reações tivessem mudado 180 graus. Não gosto e temo nunca mais encontrar uma mulher excitante. Meu desejo sexual é zero. Como -100 para mulheres. Eu só consigo uma excitação assustadora de homens várias vezes ao dia. Se eu me sentar ao lado de um amigo, minha virilha começa a fazer coisas estranhas. 

Parece que meu corpo é como um policial mau me interrogando sem parar durante anos com a prova de que sou gay e gritando comigo e coagindo uma falsa confissão de mim. Meu próprio corpo está me assustando e me dizendo que sou gay, admita. 

Também tenho a proporção de dedos gays, então acho que deve ser a prova de que nasci gay e nunca percebi

I think your case is ocd, alias I'm sure, because my case is the same as yours. Only mine can be worse because it is with someone from my family that I live with daily, and make sure I would give almost anything not to be like this. In my best days I can see how it is and how it got worse over time. I know exactly how you feel. I wish you and me strength to overcome this.

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Is it really ocd if I can look at pictures of hot women on instagram and feel nothing?   Its like looking at a brick wall.  If I see a photo of a topless man I feel a groinal, an intense feeling in my torso and my adrenaline is going but I feel scared too.  Is that denial?

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3 hours ago, Dave321 said:

É realmente ocd se eu puder olhar as fotos de mulheres gostosas no Instagram e não sentir nada? É como olhar para uma parede de tijolos. Se eu vejo a foto de um homem de topless, sinto uma virilha, uma sensação intensa no meu torso e minha adrenalina está indo, mas também sinto medo. Isso é negação?

Dave, those answers are because you're afraid of them coming, and you've already associated looking at men with that fear. So it's automatic. It's like looking at a toothbrush and remembering to brush your teeth. And you don't have to be attracted to all the women you look at, that's not how it works. And even if there is a special person, when we are like this, we are so focused on the problem, that the other things start to become irrelevant.

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Sorry for posting but I am extremely anxious and worked up right now.  I was flicking throught he tv channels and Love Island was on and I got a sudden powerful groinal response to a buff topless guy.

I felt a shot of adrenaline go from my chest to my groin and a strong swelling tightening sensation down there.  The adrenaline makes it scary and almost super aroused.  Like this seems 100% real and that this is 100% proof I am gay. 

I am terrified as my reactions are changing.  Fpor years I hung to hope this was ocd because I could get more aroused by women than men in certain scenarios such as in porn, pictures, when groggy in the morning if thoughts of women v men appeared in my dreams.

 

Now that has all been replaced recently by men arousing me in the morning and women barely causing any movement.  Women in porn is now not giving me the response I always had (I rarely check porn).  Women in pictures is nowhere near as arousing as before.  Kissing girls is not as arousing as before.  Sexting or flirting on Tinder is not giving me the response I had always known.

Now I seem to get these really intense powerful sensations in my body when I see men.  Its scary and I think the fear stops it becoming an erection.  It feels like my body has urges and the fear is the only thing stopping the arousal in its tracks.

I am shitting myself right now.  Really anxious.  I am convinced I am gay and my whole self identity was a fraud growing up.

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I honestly dont know.   I am terrified and need to tell someone.  I told my mother for the millionth time ''I'm definitely gay'' and she just said ''great!' but I am am absolutely anxious and feel urges to go test myself to gay thoughts to see what sort of reaction I can get this time and see if its going to give me a big arousal.

I have thought it through and have no idea why this scares me so much.   The onyl thing I can put it down to is bullying and was called gay as a kid when I went to a new school. At the time I wasnt into any sex and was just into my football but kids can be perceptive and maybe know before I know?

I dont want to appear homophobic as I am not and support gay rights and marriage but as I say for some reason being gay myself seems like my worst nightmare and end of the world stuff.

Maybe if I always had these reactions they wouldnt feel so scary and alien. But I had reactions to women growing up and had  always assumed I was straight.  Now my whole world is being turned on its head.

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30 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

What is your point of posting here, Dave? At least five years you've posted the same things, completely ignoring the advice we give you. Five years.

Why should we bother?

I suppose the point of him posting is because he is ill with OCD and this is an OCD forum. Five years is a short space of time when it comes to OCD and anyone who has suffered in the past should surely know just how hard it is to follow the advice given even when they know it’s for the best. Fear and panic overrides everything and people are different and overcome things in different ways, so Impatience will only make them feel worse. If it was as simple as following the advice and not giving in to compulsions then OCD wouldn’t exist. 

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Hi Dave321, I have had OCD for around forty odd years and still have major issues and this time last year I had a similar sexual issue to what you are going through and this one worry I did kill off. I had thoughts that I might be bisexual due to certain things that turn me on which at first filled me with the dreaded anxiety and should I tell the wife etc but I got through it by and remember it takes time by just saying..... Well if I am I am and why do I need to tell anyone anyway I can't help what floats my boat as long as it's legal and nobody is getting hurt who cares. I will admit now that I may not be 100 percent straight and I couldn't care less but at the time I was horrified. Your issue has turned into a compulsion which just adds petrol to the fire, next time it happens ignore it because the more you try to think it out the worse it'll be.

Edited by phillev
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As I say I dont know why but the more I try to accept being gay the more depressed and anxious I become.  I've had this fear 14 years now and I havent got used to the idea.  It fills me with terror that I could be gay.  The more real the possibility that I am the worse I get.  But I cant win because conversely the more poeople tell me its ocd the more I dont believe them and the worse it gets.  The more people that tell me its ok to be gay the more I freak out.

Maybe I have some sort of homophobia and cant accept myself.  Any time my groin has sensations and movements to men I freak out.  I dont habituate to it despite exposures.

I wonder if I came out would this all disappear.  The thing is if I did come out I still dont want to have sex with men or am I in denial?

Edited by Dave321
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20 minutes ago, Dave321 said:

As I say I dont know why but the more I try to accept being gay the more depressed and anxious I become.  I've had this fear 14 years now and I havent got used to the idea.  It fills me with terror that I could be gay.  The more real the possibility that I am the worse I get.  But I cant win because conversely the more poeople tell me its ocd the more I dont believe them and the worse it gets.  The more people that tell me its ok to be gay the more I freak out.

Maybe I have some sort of homophobia and cant accept myself.  Any time my groin has sensations and movements to men I freak out.  I dont habituate to it despite exposures.

I wonder if I came out would this all disappear.  The thing is if I did come out I still dont want to have sex with men or am I in denial?

That's a major life choice only you can make, but don't let OCD make it for you. You seem to have a massive OCD issue with being gay, listen some things are out of our control and our sexual orientation is one i'm afraid. This does sound like textbook OCD though and blowing it all out of proportion, trust me I am an expert on that. Everyone with OCD has etiher a or multiple fears that it will get a grasp on and yours appears to be homosexuality and it will lie and manipulate to try and get you to believe what it is saying is true, probably if I told you my worst fears your reply would be the same to me.

Edited by phillev
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