Pushed an exposure too far?

[Cefalu83]

Hi, I've recently started therapy after suffering very sudden onset of contamination OCD triggered by the pandemic...

 

Two days ago I tried to do an exposure (walking on an uncleaned piece of carpet with bare feet). It was a really hard exposure for me and now 48 hours later I am still at the stage of "sitting with the feeling'' and am avoiding touching my clean things such as my phone. I don't want to have to clean myself and my bedding but don't know when the feeling will pass. Does anyone here have a similar experience where they think they may have pushed an exposure too far? Please help.

[malina]

Hi @Cefalu83,

I have experienced this when I was doing ERP about a year and a half ago. My issue is about self harm and I had to do a pretty terrifying exposure with a knife. The anxiety didn't go away for days and I had the same questions as you - did this go too far? The answer was no. I talked to a few people about it and they said that, while the activity was definitely something unpleasant, it was nothing that an ordinary person wouldn't be able to do. So it only seemed really terrifying to me. I then spent a few days trying my best to let go of the anxiety and move on. I'd feel a bit better, then go back down, then a bit better and so on. This lasted days but when it was done and I felt okay again, I felt that I had built some resiliance and was able to do the exposure again with less distress. You have to go through the pain to see the benefits.

What you did, walking on an unclean carpet with bare feet, is nothing out of the ordinary and it's not extreme. I've done this millions of times and felt no anxiety and I think most people are the same. So try to keep in mind that it is terrifying only to you, just like my exposure with the knife was frightening only to me. Now you have to stop the compulsions that you are doing. You can't avoid touching your phone or feel like you have to change the bedding, that will basiclally make the exposure meaningless. Just take it day by day, it may take a while but when you come out on the other side it'll totally be worth it!

[PolarBear]

There are TWO parts to ERP. There is the exposure, which you have done. And there is the response prevention, which you have not done.

It is not enough to just expose yourself. Response prevention means to abstain from doing compulsions, at least for a set time, like a coiple of hours.

You exposed yourself, but then stopped yourself from touching things. That's a compulsion. No doubt you are ruminating over this like crazy too. What doing so does is it reinforces the irrational belief in your head that there is something wrong with walking barefoot on the carpet. In short, it keeps you anxious.

If you can, go ahead and touch things. Get back into normal life. Work on slowing down your ruminating.