Slippery slope?

[Just me.]

Hi guys,

It's been a while since I have been on these chats. I lost my mum just over a year ago and have been in a dark hole ever since, however I am starting to heal now, as much as one can. But the downside to this, is that the low mood was almost a distraction from my OCD, and as I get better, I feel myself getting back into old routines and rituals without even noticing!

I work in healthcare which is a lot at the moment in itself, but this evening I have been on a night shift, and I had a very close contact with a dirty needle whilst working. I immediately took my gloves off and checked for any puncture sites, and there was none. I washed my hands a few times and then hand sanitised (as it often stings if there are any cuts) and nothing. Yet I cant shake the feeling that Ive stabbed myself even though there is no evidence to suggest so. I keep checking my hands over and over again and I'm worried that this is the start to a massive downfall!

Sorry for the rant, just felt like typing this out, may help to release some of the anxiety I am feeling? does anyone have any good advice on what they do when they feel themselves slipping back into OCD's clutches.

Thanks x

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi Just me

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mum, of course that must have been such a tough time for you.

Even though you did a lot of checking of your hands, it doesn't necessarily mean it's the beginning of a massive downfall, especially if you're already looking at what you can do  Some find looking over past therapy notes helpful in reminding themselves of what they learnt, others might dip back into a self-help book they found helpful or even a new one if they've never read one before. Break Free from OCD is a really good one to refresh your memory on what you should be doing to tackle OCD.

Alternatively, you could look into accessing CBT on the NHS, waiting lists can be quite long at the moment, so it's not a quick intervention, but would be there if you needed it in the future. 

I bet that working in healthcare at the moment is incredibly difficult, so don't forget to show yourself compassion for everything you're going through. This might just be a blip under stressful circumstances and I'm sure you will be able to get back on track really soon

Gemma

[Just me.]

Thank you Gemma, I appreciate the reply and advice. Its hard because I panic when i start displaying certain OCD behaviours again as a couple of years ago, I got to the stage where I couldn't get out of bed and I've worked so hard to mend so that scared me! I know OCD never fully goes and I mostly cope with the obsessions and ruminations I have on a daily basis, but the work aspect spirals quickly. I've had a sleep and I'm feeling slightly less stressed so I think tiredness may have triggered me too! I purchased break free from OCD last year but never got deep into reading it, so perhaps I'll give it another go .