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Can not deal with this, RELATIONSHIP OCD?


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So Iv totally lost my sex drive, I am in a relationship have been for just over a year. The relationship OCD is starting (sorry for using the name) and I’m picking out flaws, just not very affectionate. Convincing myself I don’t love him when I do but then analysing it like is it enough is it love love. I don’t even know at some times in my head what’s real and what isn’t. I just don’t know why I don’t want sex. I feel numb in the sex sense. I just feel like I make it awkward. Analysing if it’s good if it’s the best. I can’t deal with this anymore I don’t know what to do... Iv ignored it and ignored it. But I feel my boyfriend annoys me, sometimes the way he goes on really boils my blood and just isn’t me, it isn’t bad just he goes on like a teacher sometimes and I just hate it and I feel like I put myself off him because of it 

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Hi Chels,

Sometimes when you start looking for what's wrong, then not only do you find it, but you notice more and more things. It's looking for things that increases the doubt, like over whether you love someone or over whether things are good enough and it's what OCD does. Typically, people with OCD want to be sure about things and it's wanting to be certain that causes all of the problems. On top of all that, noticing flaws and feeling worried is going to reduce your sex drive, which then buys further into the idea that you need to make sure of things. 

I know it's hard but the best advice I can give is to stop analysing things so much. Assume the things that annoy you will pass and completely normal in a loving relationship, none of us are perfect after all. Focus your attention on doing things you enjoy together and take the pressure off yourself to be sure right now. 

Gemma :)

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  • 4 weeks later...

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