Stopping rumination

[SnowFairy]

Hi everyone

So I have been trying not to ruminate and when a thought comes I have been trying to see it for what it is (an OCD thought) and not engage with it and move on to something else. I think I'm managing not to consciously engage with it but I feel like I might be subconsciously doing it. Even when I refocus my mind onto another task, like reading a book, it's still there in the background at the back of my mind and I wonder if I'm engaging with the thought subconsciously without realising.  I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong and this is why I've been doing this for a few weeks but the thoughts are still there or is that normal?

[Caramoole]

Yes, it's quite normal for the thoughts and doubts to be there.  If it was as simple as just stopping them then none of us would have a problem.  Rumination is actively engaging with them, having an internal conversation, trying to solve the problem, trying to remember things, trying to console ourselves with positive statements.  We all ruminate about things in life, it might be about how you can fix the roof on your garage or about an argument we had at work or planning a Birthday party but these sort of thoughts usually result in a solution, an answer or plan and then move on.

You sound as though you're on the right track.  You don't stop the thought but you do stop the engagement with it.  It can be quite a discipline at first because it's easy for your mind to wander back into that thinking cycle.  You make an active decision not to have that conversation or to try go over things, you'll have to do this many times.  Just take care a little bit about how you label it as "Just an OCD thought".  Yes, you need to do this but have to take care that this doesn't drift into reassuring or comforting yourself (another compulsion). Try and get to a point where you simply recognise this is OCD and that you don't need to ruminate.

Well done for tackling this and Goid Luck

[SnowFairy]

18 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

Yes, it's quite normal for the thoughts and doubts to be there.  If it was as simple as just stopping them then none of us would have a problem.  Rumination is actively engaging with them, having an internal conversation, trying to solve the problem, trying to remember things, trying to console ourselves with positive statements.  We all ruminate about things in life, it might be about how you can fix the roof on your garage or about an argument we had at work or planning a Birthday party but these sort of thoughts usually result in a solution, an answer or plan and then move on.

You sound as though you're on the right track.  You don't stop the thought but you do stop the engagement with it.  It can be quite a discipline at first because it's easy for your mind to wander back into that thinking cycle.  You make an active decision not to have that conversation or to try go over things, you'll have to do this many times.  Just take care a little bit about how you label it as "Just an OCD thought".  Yes, you need to do this but have to take care that this doesn't drift into reassuring or comforting yourself (another compulsion). Try and get to a point where you simply recognise this is OCD and that you don't need to ruminate.

Well done for tackling this and Goid Luck

Thank you for the advice. Is it possible to get to a place eventually where the thoughts no longer bother you even if they are still there? I've been stuck on a particular thought for over a year now and I can't bear the thought of it being there forever.  I feel like it's just sucked all the enjoyment out of my life for the past year - no matter what I do it's there in the background tormenting me. 

[Caramoole]

I would say yes, absolutely

OCD is tricky when it comes to identifying how we're reacting to it.  It is likely that there are compulsions going on that are maintaining the distress.  It's worth sitting down and really think about all the things you may do surrounding the thought.  You may need to re-look at the rumination to check that what you describe as "subconsciously" engaging with the thought, isn't more than that.

[Nikki79]

Thanks Snowfairy for writing this post. I can totally identify with where you are at. Thanks also for the great advice Caramoole. 

[SnowFairy]

4 hours ago, Caramoole said:

I would say yes, absolutely

OCD is tricky when it comes to identifying how we're reacting to it.  It is likely that there are compulsions going on that are maintaining the distress.  It's worth sitting down and really think about all the things you may do surrounding the thought.  You may need to re-look at the rumination to check that what you describe as "subconsciously" engaging with the thought, isn't more than that.

I suspect that this is where I'm keeping myself stuck - by carrying out compulsions without realising they are compulsions.  Sometimes I will catch myself thinking about it without realising it if that makes sense - it's like the thought has been there for so long and I'm so used to reacting to it that's it's happening on autopilot. One thing I do struggle with is I find it hard to consistently react correctly to the thought when it comes in.  Sometimes I'm able to dismiss it quite easily without it upsetting me too much and other times it hits me like a ton of bricks and before I can stop myself I've reacted with fear and the anxiety is sky high. I know this is what keeps it going but sometimes the fear is there before I've even had a chance to recognised the thought for what it is.

[SnowFairy]

4 hours ago, Nikki79 said:

Thanks Snowfairy for writing this post. I can totally identify with where you are at. Thanks also for the great advice Caramoole. 

It's nice to hear others can relate, it's such a lonely thing to go through.  I look at other people with envy and think why can't I be like you and not have this constant mental torture, you feel like you're the only one and there must be something wrong with you. 

[hazel]

This could be me writing this

[Maggie]

I’ve joined this group today and the first thing I read is really helpful! Thank you Snowfairy for writing your post, I really identify with it and thank you for the replies, really helpful and reassuring. 

[Nikki79]

We always think everyone else doesn’t have our problems but really a lot do. Anyone who has ocd and finds this website is truly very fortunate. There is a wealth of good information and advice on this debilitating disorder. 

[SnowFairy]

I'm glad others can relate, it's nice to know there are other people out there who understand what it's like.  Let's hope this is the year we can all be strong and do what needs to be done to kick OCD's butt 

I turn 40 on Friday and I refuse to enter another decade of my life being held hostage by OCD.