Relapse

[VNDO]

Hello!

I haven't been here in a while, mostly because i've been doing quite well. 

The medication has been a life changer and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It made me discover new hobbies that I had no idea I liked - stuff like gardening, sewing and, recently, painting. I was also planning on doing a masterclass in ceramic, but we just started lockdown again in my country, so that has to wait. This has also made me realise that I am definitely in the wrong degree - law. This year hasn't been great, grade wise, because I now know that I have no interest in it and it's been hard to want to study. On the other hand, I feel like I can't quit. I just turned 23 this saturday and have just one more year until I graduate. I feel like it would be a waste to quit now and I also wouldn't know what to do... All this to say that I recently had an appointment with my therapist because my ocd is back. She told me that my ocd is a consequence of something - in this case, of my university. Since I find no happiness in my degree, my anxiety levels go through the roof, causing the rituals to come back. She told me since I don't want to quit, to focus on the hobbies I like. The thing is, because now I feel like ****, I don't even have the energy to focus on that. Pragmatically, I know what I should do... leave law, but I'm too scared to do it. I don't know why I'm writing this, to be honest... I guess I just wanted to let it all out. I thought these feelings were behind me, since this past year has been pretty good... 

Either way, thank you for reading this.

[Doc]

2 hours ago, VNDO said:

Hello!

I haven't been here in a while, mostly because i've been doing quite well. 

The medication has been a life changer and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It made me discover new hobbies that I had no idea I liked - stuff like gardening, sewing and, recently, painting. I was also planning on doing a masterclass in ceramic, but we just started lockdown again in my country, so that has to wait. This has also made me realise that I am definitely in the wrong degree - law. This year hasn't been great, grade wise, because I now know that I have no interest in it and it's been hard to want to study. On the other hand, I feel like I can't quit. I just turned 23 this saturday and have just one more year until I graduate. I feel like it would be a waste to quit now and I also wouldn't know what to do... All this to say that I recently had an appointment with my therapist because my ocd is back. She told me that my ocd is a consequence of something - in this case, of my university. Since I find no happiness in my degree, my anxiety levels go through the roof, causing the rituals to come back. She told me since I don't want to quit, to focus on the hobbies I like. The thing is, because now I feel like ****, I don't even have the energy to focus on that. Pragmatically, I know what I should do... leave law, but I'm too scared to do it. I don't know why I'm writing this, to be honest... I guess I just wanted to let it all out. I thought these feelings were behind me, since this past year has been pretty good... 

Either way, thank you for reading this.

I would suggest completing the degree as it will just be an extra qualification and try to keep your hobbies and pleasures going on the side! I’ve had a relapse myself and I can possibly relate it to something which I done over the last 6 months - new temporary job rotation. I hated it, and wasn’t sleeping properly. Hopefully your OCD will go away but the two years training for an LLB will just be wasted. A possibility of taking a year out? These are just my thoughts, others might disagree! If you will wanna be a barrister, you’ll quit of dollllllar

[VNDO]

1 hour ago, Doc said:

I would suggest completing the degree as it will just be an extra qualification and try to keep your hobbies and pleasures going on the side! I’ve had a relapse myself and I can possibly relate it to something which I done over the last 6 months - new temporary job rotation. I hated it, and wasn’t sleeping properly. Hopefully your OCD will go away but the two years training for an LLB will just be wasted. A possibility of taking a year out? These are just my thoughts, others might disagree! If you will wanna be a barrister, you’ll quit of dollllllar

That was my plan, as well. Going through with it and maybe later, after working for a while,  go back to uni to study something I really like. I guess this relapse has made me doubt it. I just need to find the motivation to do it. I don't really want to be a barrister... I'd like to work for city hall, which is a plus, since I can do it right after I finish uni. I thought about taking a gap year, but to be honest, I just want to leave home as soon as possible and start my life. Besides, there's not much work where I'm from

I never really connected the dots on how ocd could be triggered by external factors, so I just thought my medication had stopped working. It's been helpful to know that wasn't the case.

I hope you're feeling better now!

[Rarity]

Well I would too suggest trying to complete your degree as it will provide you with a lot of opportunities even outside the topic of law. But since university is causing you to feel exhausted and even relapsing I would also suggest prioritizing meaningful activities a lot and maybe not going for the highest of grades! Maybe you can find a balance in it somehow. And maybe later on you can go for another field of studying. Is it a bachelors degree or masters? If it is a BA then you could go for a different MA/MSc which is compatible with your BA  (for example I have an MA in history but I am currently taking an MSc in data science!).

When did you start to feel that law was not interesting anymore? The reason I am asking is just to make sure that it is not a potential depression causing you to lose interest in your studies and hobbies  But I understand that it is more the other way around.

Soo my advices to hang in and maybe find an area of law you find most interesting and write your thesis about it and really put some effort in your other interests/hobbies. I hope that you will find a balance!

Edited February 9, 2021 by Rarity

[VNDO]

7 hours ago, Rarity said:

Well I would too suggest trying to complete your degree as it will provide you with a lot of opportunities even outside the topic of law. But since university is causing you to feel exhausted and even relapsing I would also suggest prioritizing meaningful activities a lot and maybe not going for the highest of grades! Maybe you can find a balance in it somehow. And maybe later on you can go for another field of studying. Is it a bachelors degree or masters? If it is a BA then you could go for a different MA/MSc which is compatible with your BA  (for example I have an MA in history but I am currently taking an MSc in data science!).

When did you start to feel that law was not interesting anymore? The reason I am asking is just to make sure that it is not a potential depression causing you to lose interest in your studies and hobbies  But I understand that it is more the other way around.

Soo my advices to hang in and maybe find an area of law you find most interesting and write your thesis about it and really put some effort in your other interests/hobbies. I hope that you will find a balance!

It's a BA. That's what I was thinking as well... finding a masters in something I like. 

I wasn't really sure which degree to take, but I liked the legal area so I went for law. I still like it to some degree, but I suppose my interests have shifted a little. I think the main problem is actually the university I'm in and less so the degree. I study in my country's most prestigious university, where most of our presidents and prime ministers have studied as well. But the environment is not the best. Teachers take pleasure in making our life as difficult as possible and as such, I feel like no matter how hard I study, it's never enough to get decent results. You either have to be super smart or be related to someone...

Last year I chose a really interesting optional unit called something like urbanistic law. Since I really like architecture, that's a cool area within law. 

Thank you so much for your advice