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I don’t know what to do anymore


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I can’t do anything without ending up triggering myself. I can’t do anything I enjoy. I’m stuck in an endless cycle of waiting, doing a ritual, seeing or touching something triggering and having to repeat the ritual. I’ve lost all hope that things are going to get better. I feel as though I might as well die

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I’m afraid that the things that I enjoy will become contaminated if I don’t do the ritual. I love them so much and I wouldn’t be able to handle it if they became ruined 

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This is pretty embarrassing but, I have to wash my hands in a specific way at 33 minutes past the hour. I then have to go upstairs, use the bathroom, and wash my hands in the bathroom. I then have to go downstairs and wait until 43 minutes past and wash my hands again. As you can imagine, this is quite time consuming as if I get it wrong, I have to wait around for an hour so I can repeat it

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Further to the above, OCD has the ability to convince you that illogical behavior is logical. And OCD is always illogical.

In fact, OCD is the big liar. It never tells the trurh. It consistently lies, all the time, no matter what your obsessions are.

There is a way out of this. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is the treatment for OCD. I encourage you to research it.

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