How can I help my son and understand what he is going through

[Sopmum61]

I am not even sure if my 28year old son has OCD or if it is another disorder completely and welcome any advise. 
where do I start?

His current issue (but there have been others throughout his life) is that he cannot function (no job, no friends) as he worries about germs to the extent that he triple checks food packaging and if there is anything he deems should be there he simply will not eat it. He changes his bed sheets daily and his clothes more than once a day. His hands are cut because he’s using hand gel consistently and I could go on and on. 
He wants me to sell up and move house as he says this will be a fresh start and will not accept he needs help. 
I just don’t know what to do to help him but he was in tears this evening so it’s getting to him too. 
Anyone able to give me any advice at all?

thank you. 

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi Sopmum61,

I'm really sorry to hear how much your son is struggling at the moment and that he was so upset last night. I can't say for sure but it does sound like your son has OCD. Worries about germs are common for those with OCD, as too are compulsions like checking and cleaning. Unfortunately, although those with OCD feel the need to do all of their compulsions, it does make the problem worse, leading to more and more extensive cleaning rituals and more restrictions on life. Wanting to try to wipe the slate clean and get a fresh start is also common when someone feels like they can't clean enough for things to feel fine again, but unfortunately they will find that OCD will creep back in wherever they go. 

The good news is that OCD is a highly treatable condition with the right help. The current recommended treatment in the UK is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which is a type of talking therapy that looks at the meanings we place on our thoughts and how we might respond differently to them. It must be really hard if your son doesn't want to seek help, so right now it might just be that all you can do it to keep reminding your son that OCD is treatable and also explain that he is not alone and although things are tough, they can get easier.

Some parents find it helps to learn more about OCD, we do recommend a self-help book called Break Free from OCD which is written by specialists in the treatment of OCD. We also have a presentation from our annual conference on helping a loved one with OCD here https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/family/helping-family-member-with-ocd/

Gemma

[Sopmum61]

Thank you for this reply.  
the ‘wipe the slate clean’ is what I gave every day with him. 
I will look into CBT for sure and look at the conference you attached. 
appreciate it so thank you. 

[Handy]

Hi by doing the compulsions yourself you’re enabling his OCD.  It’s important that the entire family get counseling.

 

My first book was The Boy Who Couldn’t Stop Washing.