How to help my family understand my intrusive thoughts.

[Anasd]

2 months ago I began having constant intrusive thoughts primarily about existential themes/ inevitably of death. I am 23 years old and living with my parents and whilst I have had some problems with anxiety in the past nothing like this. I am currently going through the nhs but am still waiting however it has been suggested I be referred to a CBT specialist for my intrusive thoughts my mental health nurse is on leave this week so it's not happened yet.

My problem is even though they care and have been supportive my parents are unable to understand what I am going through. They complain that I'm constantly trying to distract myself and I can tell it upsets them. It is even worse when I'm unable to help ruminating which often leads to severe derealisation and also full body movement tics as I suffer from tourette's. When this happens they often ask why I cant just ignore the thoughts and that they don't matter. Not understanding that I cant help it and feel that I need an answer even if I know there isn't one. This leaves us all feeling incredibly frustrated as they don't understand and I cant make myself understood. I also end up feeling guilt for making them suffer as I can tell it upsets them and they must feel powerless to properly help.

Have other people had similar problems and did they find a way of at least improving the situation?

[malina]

Hi @Anasd,

I can relate so much to your experience. I think it's really hard for people to understand how these seemingly random thoughts can overtake our lives. At the end of the day, I think that you need to take a step back, firstly you can't feel guilty for having a mental illness, even if it causes your family suffering. You wouldn't feel guilty if you broke your leg or got an illness, but why would you blame yourself for a mental illness? I also think that you have to accept that you don't have to make them understand. Maybe they could go to a therapy session with you or read some material on OCD. I think they don't have to understand to get that this is an illness and that you can't just stop thinking about it. I think it's really hard for families at first, but they do learn. I went through a lot of fights and hurt with my own family but after some time, they did end up getting it and are incredibly supportive now. Keep in mind that you love each other and that they have your best interests at heart, they are just having to learn to deal with something very new and difficult to understand.

[Caramoole]

I think the most powerful thing is to give them appropriate information to read so that they can begin to see that what you're experiencing is a devastating anxiety disorder and not just you being difficult.  There is so much information out there....our main web site which can be found here HERE is a mine of information.  OCD is difficult to understand, try and point them towards some of this information.  

[Anasd]

Thank you for the help both of you. I will try it. Though I'm not sure if its just me but the supporting someone with ocd page seems to be broken I get a page not found.