How to help my 17 year old son with sudden onset of OCD behaviours for the first time

[Mary]

Throughout the pandemic my son has been handwashing like the rest of the world, but it gradually became overwashing. In the last few weeks other habits have crept in and increased to the point where going to the toilet is hugely traumatic, taking over an hour of distress and often resulting in changing and showering. He can't even get off the toilet without lots of coaxing and reassurance from me, and I have to assist in getting him undressed as he can't touch anything. He constantly thinks he is wetting or soiling himself.

He has slept on our bedroom floor for the last week, because he doesn't want to get his room dirty, and morning and evening (getting through the bathroom) is a lengthy traumatic process.

I've been signed off sick from work to support him, and he is struggling to focus on anything let alone his A Level work. He is predicted A* A A B and has offers for Uni but im terrified he won't make it their!

He has referred with my help  to Turning Point but we are awaiting their verdict and proposed course of therapy, having been warned we will probably have a long wait for that therapy.

I'm grasping at straws but is their a better way I can be supporting him, or should I consider paying for private treatment? Has anyone experienced such a sudden onset?

[Hal]

Hi Mary,

Welcome to the forum.

From looking at Turning Point's website it's difficult to gauge the level of support specifically tailored to treating OCD they provide. Don't get me wrong, they might be excellent, but they do seem to focus mainly on issues around alcohol and substance abuse.

Have you had any help from your son's GP? From what I understand the age limit for accessing Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) seems to vary regionally...it can be 17 or 18. It might be worth giving your local service a call to clarify if your son could access their services.

https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/your-guide-to-support/guide-to-camhs/

But it still comes down to timing doesn't it, both routes are probably going to involve a wait of months. 

Going privately through the British Association of Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (https://babcp.com/) would solve that, but it's quite expensive. I think I would personally exhaust the NHS route, along with helping your son using self help books first. I know that's putting you under more pressure, but you being there 24/7 (something a therapist can't do) will really pay off.

These books are all fantastic and recommended by the charity:

'Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' by Dr David Veale and Rob Wilson.

'How to Deal with OCD' by Dr Elizabeth Forrester

'Break Free From OCD' by Dr Fiona Challacombe, Paul Salkovskis, and Victoria Bream Oldfield.

Symptoms can appear very suddenly, but you've also identified the problem's OCD very quickly too. That matters  The pandemic has definitely blurred the lines for many people when it comes to what's a reasonable precaution to take and what is OCD. I wonder if this piece posted last year might also be helpful?

Nipping the compulsions in the bud now is going to be hard work, but the sooner your son can work on reducing the washing compulsions and avoidance the sooner he'll return to being free of the disorder. But it's also going to put you in a very difficult position when it comes to giving reassurance.

That's something you'll gradually have to help him understand you need to stop doing to support him rather than the OCD. That can be quite tricky for loved one's because no one wants to see the person they love in pain, but it really is a case of being cruel to be kind and looking at the long term goal of recovery.

As a community we're also always here to support you both as you go through this. Any questions or areas you want to talk about just shout and we'll be happy to guide you both.

I seem to have given Tolkien a run for his money again, but I hope that may help a bit.

[Handy]

Same thing happened to me at that age. You can do it.